Indie/Post-Hardcore [GP5/GP4/MIDI]


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SGxMastodonxSG
04-12-2008, 05:44 AM
So me and my girlfriend of about a year broke up today, and I decided to use that as fuel to write. Wrote a bunch of stuff today, this song being one of them. For my band, the bassist is doing bass right now, so I'll upload it once it has bass. For right now it's just guitars and drums (and a little keyboard part a la our vocalist). Besides my very eventful day, musical influences were Circa Survive and Minus the Bear.

edit: I just wrote lyrics for it. Song's titled "Where People Can Fly", for now at least.

dontbestupid47
04-13-2008, 12:42 AM
I'm listening and critting at the same time...

The intro is very spacey sounding and really melodic, i like it a lot.
The chorus was awesome, the distortion was unexpected but fit perfectly.
Some lyrics would fit the verse nicely.
The interlude was creepy sounding, very cool.
That is a ballin chorus.
The bridge was repetitive, but some heavy lyrics would fit perfect.
A sick drum fill would fit measure 120 perfectly.
The outro was spacey just like the intro.

Overall 9.5 out of 10. I didn't even realize that i listened to the Midi and not the RSE, cuz it sounded so good. The only thing was the ending. It didn't fit well when the guitar ended and the bass kick kept going, it didnt fell like an ending IMO.

crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=836393

Thomasoman
04-13-2008, 02:42 AM
The intro/outro sounded like something mewithoutyou would do, and thats a good thing. I heard alot of Fall of Troy esque riffs in there, too. It was really, REALLY good. I'd love to hear that recorded. It's almost a shame you used so little of the rhodes though, it can be such a powerful instrument in this genre.

SGxMastodonxSG
04-13-2008, 03:07 AM
The intro/outro sounded like something mewithoutyou would do, and thats a good thing. I heard alot of Fall of Troy esque riffs in there, too. It was really, REALLY good. I'd love to hear that recorded. It's almost a shame you used so little of the rhodes though, it can be such a powerful instrument in this genre.
yeah well, the rhodes will be played by the singer, and in every other passage, he's singing, so yeah.
And there's a good possibility that this will be recorded next weekend (vocals and all)

Thanks for the kind words guys.

dontbestupid47
04-13-2008, 03:52 AM
i just want to say (again) that that has the sickest chorus i've ever heard, with singing i even can't imagine how good it will sound. can't wait till it's recorded

xwearesinking
04-26-2008, 12:57 PM
this is amazing man, can definately hear both circa survive and minus the bear in here.
9.5/10

im really interested in hearing your band now.

Garb
04-26-2008, 02:43 PM
Oh lawdy.
What a freaking awesome song.
I came...




Five times.
I definitely got the emotion put into this. The only thing that I really didn't like was the chorus.. But with lyrics I'm sure the fact that I heard that chorus riff so many times wouldn't be noticeable.
Great job. 9/10

yotiXD
04-26-2008, 02:48 PM
That was pretty awesome. I just had a problem with the distortion, it was too sudden.

8.5/10

Shukie
04-26-2008, 05:43 PM
that was good, even though it was pretty repetitive, you put it together so that it sounds right. the last drum bit as someone mentioned was kind of awkward, i think a fade out would be perfect for it since in gp it sounds kind of electro and bouncy, or if you don't get what i mean make it stop with everything but give it some echoing or delay that diminishes, so ya it was pretty good i think 8/10.

Mellow Gold
04-26-2008, 05:55 PM
The parts that were in 3/4 were a bit off putting. Other than that really ****ing good song.

8/10

musikman23
04-28-2008, 06:47 PM
dude that was sweet i liked it alot
it actually inspired me to write my own song
haha
well like to not write a new song but improve my old ones

PinkIsCool
04-28-2008, 09:19 PM
I loved every second of it.

The layered guitar parts were amazing.

You should use way more of the rhoads. And add bass. And add a simple strings arrangement for your ketbopardist to play over the chorus.

SGxMastodonxSG
04-28-2008, 09:57 PM
I loved every second of it.

The layered guitar parts were amazing.

You should use way more of the rhoads. And add bass. And add a simple strings arrangement for your ketbopardist to play over the chorus.
Keyboardist is the lead singer so we can't have him playing all the time.
But we might be bringing in a new guy that'll be 3rd guitarist and another lead vocalist, meaning more keys parts for the current lead vocalist.

Bassist wrote bass a while ago (makes the chorus 10x better) but I've been too lazy to update it here haha.

edit: and thanks for all the kind words everyone.
I'll upload the version with bass soon.
Actually, if you go to my profile here and go to my band's profile through mine (ghostclouds) it's there, titled "MIDI Down the Rabbit-Hole".

saddam
04-29-2008, 03:40 AM
Great intro, I love how the drums build up, it does last a little too long though.
The chorus and verse are good, but I think the leads might be annoying with vocals, they're a little too busy...
The bridge is amazingly well done! The rhodes piano gives it a cool new dimension and i like it.
The only thing this song needs is a bass guitar and maybe a little solo somewhere.

Overall: 8/10 great job

Crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=14015682#post14015682

grtz

king_harvest88
05-05-2008, 10:11 AM
Wow, awesome, just awesome. only thing i didnt really like was the drums in the intro, the rest is great.

theheirapparent
02-01-2009, 05:00 PM
wow this is seriously freaking amazing. has your band recorded? and do you have a myspace or something?
i love all the layers. haha i was just about to say it gets a little repitive, when the bridge came on. very nice work. keep it up

SGxMastodonxSG
02-01-2009, 05:13 PM
wow this is seriously freaking amazing. has your band recorded? and do you have a myspace or something?
i love all the layers. haha i was just about to say it gets a little repitive, when the bridge came on. very nice work. keep it up

The Science of Sleep myspace. (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=392642491)

Thanks bro.
edit: Made sure that it was the newest version and uploaded the newest version I have.

theheirapparent
02-01-2009, 05:36 PM
awesome, im checking it out.

Its_Rock77
02-01-2009, 09:24 PM
holy crap! I was gonna say, I think I remember this song....

Kudos to you for writing such a memorable song that I recognize it almost a year later.
and double Kudos for being way better than me at writing in the style of Circa Survive. I've been trying to write layered parts as beautiful as this for so long.

and I'll be checking out your band also. :D

but sick song. definitely a winner here.

ScythePuppet
02-02-2009, 08:41 AM
Cool song. I liked most of it except for the bridge. 8/10 :)

theheirapparent
10-24-2010, 10:27 PM
Please. I'm bringing this back from the dead. Log on, find this, then make lots of music. This is so amazing.

swashbuckle50
10-25-2010, 12:12 AM
good lord. that chorus blew me away.

i loved the bass grooves through the entire song. especially the intro.
honestly the only crit i could have is the break at 120 be only 1 beat not 2. There is not a single thing that could be improved musically. any changes would just be a minor result of preference.

check out my song if you like http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1374623

frankibo
10-25-2010, 08:09 AM
This is so good, I thought in places the drums and bass let it down though. But overall it's an amazing piece.

JesseBlanchard
10-25-2010, 10:11 PM
Last I saw, SGxMastodonxSG's band, who had awesome songs like this recorded, deleted the songs of myspace, then became a hardcore band. Such a waste.