Couple of melodic metal-ish songs [gp5,4]


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tborsje
04-13-2008, 12:49 AM
Hey guys,

Well, I've got about 9 songs written completely and 20 half finished on GP5, so I thought I might start looking for some feedback on some. These are probably the most 'conservative' songs, being mostly focused on one theme and building on it.

Firstly, these were written on GP5.2, I've included a gp4 export but it won't sound near as good because the RSE settings will be lost.
(Edit: I changed the first song a bit, couldn't be bothered uploading a gp4/midi)

Second, these were written to only be played on RSE. If you think MIDI sounds as good as RSE you either:
1) Mustn't have set it up right (Audio settings)
2) Are using crappy presets for distortion (Zakk time - Rhythm is a good metal one)
3) Are having a stroke in the part of the brain responsible for hearing (go to a hospital)

Anyways, the first song was written ages ago but I had another crack at finishing it recently. I think I submitted it to this forum once, but it's changed a bit since then anyway. I like the clean part (It's supposed to be played with the RSE preset 'Single - Sunday') and it seems to go well with the solo. The verse sounds like Maiden.

The second song is completely acoustic until the bridge. The solo is pretty long and all in harmony, and due to myself being a crappy guitar player, way above my skill level. I don't really know who I was influenced by in writing this, except that I know the bridge riff is supposed to sound a bit like the rhythm harmony under Kirks solo in Fade to Black. The main problem with this song is that the verses are boring as I've got 'stuck' in the theme (any suggestions?).

Note that I wrote the drums when I was starting out on GP about 2 years ago, I should've redone them but I'm lazy so they don't sound all that good. :p:

I'll crit for crit aswell. Thanks guys.

Lord Of Donkeys
04-13-2008, 01:58 PM
Awesome

I had to listen to the GP4 :(

Song 1
Cool intro, nice progression, especially at measure 4.

Very nice solo :golfclap: I didn't like the tremelo picking between measures 20 and 21, but thats just me. The bends at the end seemed kind of repetitive too.

Verse is good. I liked the bass fills in the background. The 2nd verse feels empty though. I think it was because you took out the high notes on track 7.

I liked the Chorus a lot. Maybe let those last four notes on track 3 ring.

Good bridge, I like the Harmony Guitar parts. It adds a nice touch.

Holy crap the solo was so great! With the bass fills in the gaps where the guitars hold notes. I have nothing bad to say about it. Except measure 84, but I'm sure that sounds better if someone is actually playing it.

The Piano fit really well in the Outro. I liked the fade out.

This is one of my favorite songs I've heard from UG lately. I wouldn't classify it as "metal" though

10/10

Song 2

Nice harmonies in the intro.

The triplets at 13 sound...I dunno they just don't feel right.

I didn't like the lead part in the Chorus at measure 25.

The bridge was really good. I liked it a lot.

Awesome solo. I don't know what to say about it. I liked it though.

Good outro too.

This song was too repetitive, and because of that I didn't enjoy it as much as the first one. Other than that it was really good.

7.5/10

I moved all of my songs to my profile sooooo just click on my name and then one of the links in the "About Me" section.

EDIT: Crap, none of the links work. Hang on I'll just put some on here.

EDIT: Here:

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=800393
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=805601

Crit either or both. They didn't get many crits.

tborsje
04-14-2008, 09:57 AM
Very nice solo :golfclap: I didn't like the tremelo picking between measures 20 and 21, but thats just me. The bends at the end seemed kind of repetitive too.

Yeah, I need to change the end of that solo. I only have a 22 fret guitar so when I play it I simply play a decending scale like this
http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/8265/24230906cy8.jpg

The 2nd verse feels empty though. I think it was because you took out the high notes on track 7.

D'oh, I didn't notice that. I usually try to keep things like that consistant. Good catch.

Holy crap the solo was so great! With the bass fills in the gaps where the guitars hold notes. I have nothing bad to say about it. Except measure 84, but I'm sure that sounds better if someone is actually playing it.

Yeah, I kindof have a childish vision of playing it and just smaking the shit out of the strings on that last measure as some explosion of release :haha.

This song was too repetitive, and because of that I didn't enjoy it as much as the first one. Other than that it was really good.


Yeah I know, I'm really stuck on a theme with that one. I'll come up with a change in it some day though, when I put some time into it :).

Thanks for the crit, I'm glad you liked them, especially the first one. That's easily my favorite aswell.

:cheers:

michal23
04-14-2008, 11:23 AM
Thanks for the crit on mine! Here goes...

Song1:

Immediately, I love it. The echo on the instruments and the synths are amazing, they provide an awesome setting. The intro solo is absolutely beautiful. This sounds like i can't be bothered to say something constructive, but I absolutely love it - flawless dude :eek: :eek:

The verse is okay, but it sounds like you can't decide whether you want a lot of energy or if you want it calm like the intro, so I think you should decide which you want and add more layers, (more bass, more guitars, I'm not sure, it's up to you =]) accordingly to either make it one or the other.

The bridge is beautiful, however to really emphasise the peaceful break, I think you need to add more speed and energy into the verse and chorus, to really make the contrast stand out. The solo is also once again extremely beautiful, however I think that it could be improved from bar 81 til the verse by adding something faster and really building up the tension, perhaps even by adding some dissonant diminished chords (carefully though, we don't want it sounding crap :p: ) before going into another energetic verse and chorus and finally fully resolving in the outro.

Overall, I think what you have is extremely good, but you just need to emphasise certain parts of the song to get the most emotion from a reader out of it.

'll be back to crit the second song, don't worry :cheers: