My first shot at making music (GP5 file)


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flapz
07-10-2008, 11:25 AM
*****now in GP4, GP5, and MIDI*****

Hey everyone,

I posted this in the Musician Talk forum at first, but it wasn't the right spot. Hopefully I'll get more replies here.



I don't post here much, but I've been browsing for some time. Anyway, I've been playing the bass for a little less than 1 year now, and studying music theory on my own for about 6 months. Yesterday was the first time I've ever attempted to write something original though (except for the occasional times I would make up a simple groove when I was bored, although I don't do that much).

I tried making my first song pretty progressive and more on the heavy side... my main influences are Dream Theater and Rush, along with several other bands. There's a few things I could see wrong with my song, like the fact that the first riff sounds similar to the song This Dying Soul by DT (which was completely unintentional), and that it might get a tad repetitive. I'm gonna stop ranting about it now and let you be the judge of it, here's the guitar pro 5 file:

http://www.mediafire.com/?ng2twm9j2dy

BTW, it's not finished yet. I still have plenty to add (guitar solo, etc).

Thanks for any input!

edit: updated with attachment
edit 2: updated with finished song version 2

Regression
07-10-2008, 11:38 AM
If you right click, go to Send To, then Compressed (zipped) Folder you can attach it with your post.

Do that and more people will probably look at it.

Will try to have a look at it myself now, but might not get crit written up, have to go soon.

Edit: Oh yeah, when you make it a zip file thingy, can you include a GP4 version too? :D

If you don't, I can't crit it.

flapz
07-10-2008, 11:52 AM
If you right click, go to Send To, then Compressed (zipped) Folder you can attach it with your post.

Do that and more people will probably look at it.

Will try to have a look at it myself now, but might not get crit written up, have to go soon.

Edit: Oh yeah, when you make it a zip file thingy, can you include a GP4 version too? :D

If you don't, I can't crit it.

Thanks, I didn't think about the attachment thing.

Unfortunately though, I can't include the file in GP4. I tried to save it as a GP4 file but it won't let me. Is there another way? Should I just change the file extension on the GP5 file?

edit: ok, I just changed the file extension. I hope it works.

Regression
07-10-2008, 11:59 AM
Didn't work, maybe someone will be kind and export it into GP4. If not, sorry. :(

icronic
07-10-2008, 12:06 PM
As Regression said, if you could make it a zip file and include GP5 GP4 and midi formats, you'll get a lot more comments. You can use the export function in guitar pro to get midi and GP4. Then just edit and attach the file to your original post.

Anyway, to your song.

I like the groove you've got going, and the way you introduce the bass in is very nice. The drum fill in bar 7 needs a little bit of work though, it departs from that groove you've got, and just kind sounds off.

I thought you did a great job of bringing the synth in. I loved how you brought everything back for it's entrance and then built it all back up again. Really cool.

Same with the guitar riff. The fill from hell was totally a DT thing and it sounded great. Those 7/4 fills are also very nice, although for some reason the last time you do it (bar 65) it sounds a little odd when it shifts back into the intro.

I liked the octave thing you're doing with the keyboards as well. Although maybe instead of copying the 7/4 riff exactly you could try harmonizing it, or playing it in octaves or something like that to make it sound even more huge.

The keyboard solo is nice as well, although I thought the phrasing was a little too straight 16ths, and perhaps a little less linear sounding. Still it was good, and it definitely had that DT sound to it.

Overall I like what you've got, and I'm interesting to hear where you're going with it.

If you want to check out my stuff the links are in my sig

flapz
07-10-2008, 12:26 PM
As Regression said, if you could make it a zip file and include GP5 GP4 and midi formats, you'll get a lot more comments. You can use the export function in guitar pro to get midi and GP4. Then just edit and attach the file to your original post.

Anyway, to your song.

I like the groove you've got going, and the way you introduce the bass in is very nice. The drum fill in bar 7 needs a little bit of work though, it departs from that groove you've got, and just kind sounds off.

I thought you did a great job of bringing the synth in. I loved how you brought everything back for it's entrance and then built it all back up again. Really cool.

Same with the guitar riff. The fill from hell was totally a DT thing and it sounded great. Those 7/4 fills are also very nice, although for some reason the last time you do it (bar 65) it sounds a little odd when it shifts back into the intro.

I liked the octave thing you're doing with the keyboards as well. Although maybe instead of copying the 7/4 riff exactly you could try harmonizing it, or playing it in octaves or something like that to make it sound even more huge.

The keyboard solo is nice as well, although I thought the phrasing was a little too straight 16ths, and perhaps a little less linear sounding. Still it was good, and it definitely had that DT sound to it.

Overall I like what you've got, and I'm interesting to hear where you're going with it.

If you want to check out my stuff the links are in my sig

EDIT: GP4 Format, just download it and put it in your own zip and I'll take this down

The zip file with both formats in it is up :)

Thanks for the input as well! I'm glad you like it overall so far, seeing as this is my first time doing something like this. I didn't think it would turn out like it did to be honest.

I'll work on that first fill like you said, it is a little strange but it was one of the first parts I worked on and didn't feel like going back to mess with it. Also, the transition into the reintro does seem off now that you mention it. I'll work on making it smoother. Thanks again!

dream{M}theater
07-10-2008, 01:20 PM
Wow, I absolutely love this. It sounds like a mix of post-punk and progressive metal. My favorite part is the intro with the bass and drums. Then the keyboard comes in with a chilling progression. The electric, distorted part is great too.

flapz
07-10-2008, 04:03 PM
Wow, I absolutely love this. It sounds like a mix of post-punk and progressive metal. My favorite part is the intro with the bass and drums. Then the keyboard comes in with a chilling progression. The electric, distorted part is great too.

Thanks! Glad you like it.

flapz
07-11-2008, 12:15 AM
I took the song (which I finished this afternoon) and fixed it up a bit... check the first post for the finished product, version 2. I only had version 1 up for a little bit, but parts of it were sloppy.

talentfree
07-11-2008, 02:42 PM
i think the intro was a bit long, but the rest was great work.
the riffs were interesting, nice use of time signatures (I'm usually confused if time sig's changed but yours flowed) i liked the keys.
the whole song was good, it kept my attention and flowed and has a nice melody and cool dissonant stuff.
and nice drum work by the way.
id give a 9/10

crit mine?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=906316