Metalcore Song (C4C)


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telemetal
07-12-2008, 06:48 PM
Just something I wrote in a few hours, nothing amazing, but its my first song, so id just like to know if I'm on the right track or if I'm ****.

haz_uk
07-12-2008, 07:03 PM
it's too steady and quite boring. seems kinda stuck in the pentatonic box and some parts aren't really musical.

telemetal
07-12-2008, 07:06 PM
fair enough, though id didn't actually base it on a pentatonic, just to let you know, it was A natural minor

Slaytanic1993
07-12-2008, 08:29 PM
This kind of has a thrashy feel :wtf:

But, it's pretty solid, you just need to change up the part at :43.

Like add some hammer-ons, trills, pinches, etc.

telemetal
07-12-2008, 08:48 PM
so, slaytanic, just add some pinches and other fancy stuff to the chorus riff bit? what about the solo, was it all right?

Slaytanic1993
07-12-2008, 08:51 PM
It was a fair bit alright, nothing ":eek:" but nothing really crap.

telemetal
07-12-2008, 09:03 PM
yea i wasn't expecting perfection or anything :eek: but as long as people think its a solid solo im happy, since its the first i wrote

octavarium78
07-12-2008, 09:14 PM
I liked the solo, and the rest was alright.
and in the chorus try to add something with the rhythem guitar.. it's just kinda boring like that.
but over all it was 3.5/5

telemetal
07-12-2008, 11:12 PM
Octavarium, what would you mean by something, the same kinda thing that Slaytanic suggested?