Hold On


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Stewie4gov
07-19-2008, 11:45 PM
im new to songwriting and for some reason my song just doesnt sound quite right. its a punk/alternative song titled hold on and there are no lyrics yet. can someone please help me with figuring out what is wrong with it? here is the file in guitar pro 5 format Hold On.gp5 (http://www.savefile.com/files/1677197) and here it is in guitar pro 4 format Hold On.gp4 (http://www.savefile.com/files/1721491).

MattAnderson111
07-20-2008, 02:44 AM
The chorus chord progression is SO OVERUSED and yes, you make punk rhythm with like, pop kinda lead, its weird.

Stewie4gov
07-20-2008, 10:45 AM
ok i changed the chorus, was that all that was wrong with it?

MattAnderson111
07-20-2008, 11:57 AM
well, no the part with the lead, it doesnt go with the the rhythm, all the lead on the high E and B strings are wrong, change that or the rhythm, its not all in the same key, GP, can be very fustrating if you start out.

Stewie4gov
07-20-2008, 01:50 PM
ok so i changed the lead part and some of the chords. im pretty sure i fixed it

MattAnderson111
07-20-2008, 11:47 PM
You made it alot better, now its acceptable.

Its_Rock77
07-21-2008, 12:27 AM
well, I'm not gonna say it sounds bad cause it sounds perfectly fine. everything is now in key and stuff.

however, I would go as far as to say this exact song has probably already been done before. It just screamed generic. sorry man, but I think there's so much more "Stewie4gov" you could put into this to make it more original. :peace:

Stewie4gov
07-21-2008, 10:35 PM
well im going to add a solo, but its really hard for me to do that. any suggestions?

bloodshed344
07-21-2008, 10:41 PM
Just try to stick to the same notes you're using.

Stewie4gov
07-22-2008, 01:18 AM
ok ive got part of the solo done and ive also added the intro part into the verses. tell me what u think

Its_Rock77
07-22-2008, 01:46 AM
I think you need to do one of the following for the chorus
a) write some cool leads over the rhythm
b) put in some octaves for the lead part. those usually sound good.
c) double the rhythm
:)

and solo is souding good. I think it'd be better if you varied the rhythms a bit though. keep working! *thumbs up*

Stewie4gov
07-22-2008, 03:23 AM
added cool lead parts over the rhythm during the chorus

Stewie4gov
07-23-2008, 08:23 PM
added bass

icronic
07-23-2008, 08:49 PM
You know. It's generic. It's really generic. But it's the kind of generic that gets stuck in peoples heads, and it's the kind of generic that would end up on the radio and make more money than 99% of the music posted in these forums ever could.

If you're aiming for something unique and original, you've failed miserably. If you've just aimed to write a fun song, this is a flying success.

Personally? I liked it. It was fun and it worked. The only area that really needs improvement is the solo, otherwise it's solid.

Stewie4gov
07-23-2008, 10:17 PM
yea i just wanted something fun and upbeat. as for the solo its really hard for me to make, i just cant come up with anything that sounds good. wut i have now sound more like a bridge than a solo.

Mudhippy2011
07-23-2008, 10:40 PM
I don't listen to too much pop, but I really liked that. A lot, where I'm to the point where I'm kind of surprised. Great pop-punk song for a fun pick-me-up.

Crit maybe?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=917050

Stewie4gov
08-10-2008, 04:03 PM
finished the song. took me long enough. ive just been pretty busy and it took me awhile to get a bridge that sounds good. the transition before the bridge sounds weird but theres noting i can do about it, it wud sound better live. anyways tell me wut ya think :D

ninja.kitty
08-10-2008, 08:51 PM
gp4..? i wanna hear!

Stewie4gov
08-10-2008, 09:06 PM
gp4..? i wanna hear!
added gp4 for ya

ninja.kitty
08-11-2008, 05:10 PM
its ok. it just gets repetive after awhile, but it sounds good imo. especially if you are new to this :D

Stewie4gov
08-11-2008, 09:41 PM
thanks. yea this is the first song that ive ever made

ninja.kitty
08-12-2008, 12:09 AM
keep at it, and you'll get good for sure