22- Progressive rock/Metal [GP5](C4C)


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darth awsome
07-20-2008, 02:45 PM
This is the first full song I've finished in GP and Im pretty pleased with it so far. I know some places I want to change and Im planning on adding a couple of solos and there will be vocals to keep it from being repetitive. Let me know what you think.

Thanks!

Edit: Now in GP4 and MIDI! I've also worked on the drums a bit as well as added the first solo. Let me know what you Think!

Edit: 2 solos now.

_InsanitY_
07-20-2008, 03:00 PM
man that is awesome. i would look forward to a couple of solos! i love the little riffs everywhere. i also love the nice calm bit - sonds very professional. i would recommend starting a solo on bar 118 and on bar 186... it has a very pre-solo feel to it. well thats about it... but i think u use a bit too many dissonant chords but whose gonna care :p: rock on! :devil:

edit: pls msg me when u make a solo or 2... im still looking forward to hearing them :p:

bloodshed344
07-20-2008, 04:20 PM
I thought it was pretty cool, 117, and 186 were definitely great. You're pretty good at changing the mood of the song like that. Some parts were repetitive but vocals would fix that (I imagine mainly singing with a small amount of growling or whatever) The first riff and it's variations started getting on my nerves after awhile and the drums just weren't good so I muted them. Still you have to basics for a great song, just fix up them drums and also, try to make the song have some kind of memorable theme. Right now it's just not very catchy or memorable. Also, good job on the bass.

If you wanna crit mine it's in my sig, just click whichever one you want.

ealtdharkon
07-21-2008, 05:13 PM
A few thing before I crit...
Cheers for the crit on mine, one of the best I've had so far.

I would crit yours, but there's one problem - it's a GP5, and for some reason my GP5 won't open GP5 files... so could you sort me out with a GP4?
Then I'll give you a good crit, honest.

Rob

P.S.
I'm gonna take this opportunity to say a few things about your crit, but I'll do it on your thread so I don't go bumping mine.

The problem areas you identified helped me a lot.
The bar 72 transition you didn't like, I'm gonna have to go "screw you" on that one, 'cause I do like it - the flow is meant to die there... but as for the 107 being too rushed? You were right - and I will sort that out. Can I ask you to take another look when the piece is complete?

ealtdharkon
07-21-2008, 05:48 PM
A happy hippy guide,
To using GP5 -
...and what's more my friend,
This "manual" is in rhyme!

My jaw hit the floor,
When an error I saw,
...I need to update my software?!
AND THERE'S NO GP4?!!!

My eyes did not kid me,
There's not even a midi!
So I let you down gently,
And gave you no critique =(

But if you go to File,
My friend, then export...
...you will look on these wonders,
Of which we have talked.

PDF, Wav and Midi,
And Guitar Pro Format,
You click, and you save as,
Then attach, and that's that.

dminishedthingy
07-21-2008, 06:17 PM
very good work, this reminded me of Cynic and Atheist at times (which is high praise)
i especially like how the drums and bass clashed with the guitar at times and gave it a chaotic mood, but it wasn't overbearing.

the jazz fusion part with the changing time signatures was excellent, and reminded me a lot of Opeth's "The Lotus Eater"

it did get a bit repetative at times, but as stated earlier, vocals will fix that

i felt that the clean part at the beginning was too long, i don't know if you're planning to have vocals or a solo there or what,but it got a bit boring

i also really like the dissonant chords you used in the 2nd clean part

the bass was great, it really tied the song together

all in all i'd say about 8/10, great work (and i'd also really like to hear the solos when your finished)
:cheers:
crit the song in my sig?

ealtdharkon
07-23-2008, 10:31 AM
Right, I can finally crit this - I've been preoccupied recently, I do apologise.

...I like the start actually, I've always have a thing to 7/8 - 9/8 riffs, shows some good emphasising skills.

...I have never heard this sorta bluesy rock style used with progressive styles and structures, so this is a first for me, and I'm liking it so far!

The drums kick in on a fill that is VERY Dream Theater, and the bass that comes in is superb, I love it! Good emphasis again. Bar 9 goes really well with the rest of the piece so far, and the way it not only progresses as far as pitch is concerned, but into 7/8, is a very refreshing take on an old rock idea. I like the way this part repeats, too, and then again with less drums, the drums that build back up again, and do it well - I also like the bass ideas.

Bar 41 is beautiful, the bass bounces, the guitar part slips down in pitch, and the drums are in 4/4, but paying attention to a less on the beat than usual rhyhthm.

AND OH MY GOD! That went SO well into bar 44... damn. Nicely done. I like the dissonance that you bring in around here, sparsely used it does has immense effect.
Bar 50 is cool.

51 to me seems kinda like a riff in the style of Saint Anger, but I liked that album.
75 was odd, 4ths 'ey?

83, that fill sees a most welcome return!

...wierd clean section, the triplets really screw up the way the time seems to flow, and I really like that, it's cool. The solo is great aswell, again it's a sorta classic rock solo, but with a prog mind behind the rhythm section.
Bar 97 has a wicked run.

I like bar 100.

The riff after it is pretty cool, but I could only see it working with some vocals.
The next time sigs are ****ed up, but still cool. I'm not a huge fan of really dodgy rhythms myself though, I like more flow.

113 to 115 are mint, really good transition into a hole new feel to the piece.

That is possibly the best use of 15/16 I have ever seen, that was not by Dream Theater!

So I'm at bar 126... and I gotta go, ha!

I'll be back, and I'll crit the rest of this.





Rob

nick11link
07-23-2008, 11:17 AM
Thanks for the crit on my song! :cheers:

Your song is definetly progressive, judging by your interesting and effective use of unusual time signatures. They really help the first riff stand out. I didn't have an major complaints over all, except that perhaps there could have been more solos at places like bar 168 or 180. I liked the sudden change in mood at bar 268 as well! The drums were also fantastic. Overall a really good song

sum_ugly_man
07-23-2008, 11:24 AM
It's definitely prog man. I have been working on this small segment of this song of mine called "Belinda" and it kind of reminds me of Belinda. Overall, great stuff, the 9/8 bars in the beginning are just intense, I love how 7/4, 7/8, 9/8 have such a natural push to them.

The sudden change in mood in bar 198 blew me away, I love it. Great job, keep it up.

ch715dallat
07-23-2008, 01:04 PM
you do realise your intro was in 4/4 so there was no reason for the alternate time sigs? :confused:

but anyways with a bit of touching up this song could be alot better. i took a little bit of time and went through all the sections adding to them well most of them and you can see how it can sound much better and more interesting?

bere ya go. please listen tho, so my time didnt go to waste ;)

icronic
07-23-2008, 03:29 PM
You know I was just about to reply with the same thing that ch715dallat just said. A great deal of this song is actually 4/4, so all the time changes weren't even required. I suppose it's fine the way it is because of the way you're shifting the emphasis around to different beats though.

Anyway, the intro is great. It's a little long, and I felt the 16th note kick drum thing you were doing from 17-24 was a little too much for me.

I love the section that starts at bar 44, it sounds great.

I love the clean section, although the triplet feel make it sound really strange.

104-113 is just strange. It doesn't really flow.

The riff that starts at 117 is really cool.

The part at 126 is also really good, and a perfect place for a solo.

Love the riff at 186

part at 196 is great, but the transition into it could use some work

240-255 seems a little pointless to me. I think you either need to add more to it, shorten it, or get rid of it.

The bit at 260 is great, but again I'm just not feeling the transition. I love the tapping thing you're doing in the solo, very creative.

The whole ending section feels a little repetitive lyrics or a solo would fix that.

Overall I think you've got some incredible ideas, but there are too many hops jumps stops changes and hiccups that prevent them from flowing smoothly together.

darth awsome
07-23-2008, 05:51 PM
Thanks for all the replies.

I do realize that the into is in 4/4 but its the shifting emphasis that caused me to put it in the alternating time signatures.

ch715dallat I appreciate all the work you did but I'm probably not going to be able to use alot of them because they use 2 guitars and the band im in only has me. I am going to steal some of your drum ideas and a few other parts you included.

icronic thanks for the crit it was pretty helpful. Im trying to work on flow. 260 was meant to jump like that and the reason that the ening section is so long is because it was written for a solo.

ealtdharkon good far cant wait for the rest!

ch715dallat
07-23-2008, 09:07 PM
lol i didnt change any of the drums i was going to tho, as they could do with some work. but you should try get a second guitarist. it really helps in prog as to thicken up the sound and so you can play different riffs and harmonize and shiz. like alot of those riffs in there you could easily have a cool melody or contrasting riff played over them.

Skater901
07-25-2008, 12:53 PM
Right, well, it's late here, and I'm tired, and I've got to get up tomorrow, so I'm gonna go to bed now, but I downloaded your song and had a listen, and I've definitely got some stuff to say about it. As soon as I get some time I'll sit down and critique it section by section, but for now I'm going to sleep. If I don't get around to critiquing it in the next few days, drop me a line cause I've probably forgotten. :cheers:

MarchOfEternity
07-26-2008, 04:08 PM
First of all, sorry for the delayed crit, been stuck on a few things.

Second, I still ponder as to why you critted my old piece, instead of my latest :confused: . That said, on to the (tedious and long-winded) crit!

Intro was really fun, the double kicks in the drums need some snare hits, imo. Loved the bit at 48.

Transition to the clean part could be better, felt a bit awkward, but everything in the passage itself was really nice. The triplet gave it a certain feel and was really cool.

126 onwards gave the song a really cool mood, really uplifting there, though a lead or two would make it all the much better.

The thing at 160 imo dragged out for too long. It didn't really contributed anything, 'cept maybe some vocals, but even then I think it still would be too long.

186 and after was really fun, but again, it needs a better transition. It felt a bit forced there.

I'm not too fond on the chugging part at 240, seems meh. Maybe a vocal or solo there would fix it, but most likely not. Again, need better transition to 261. The whole ending section seems to be too repetitive, and seems dragged out at parts. You need maybe some lead there, or even a full-blown solo :D . And, the ending (the last few bars) is a bit lacking, to say the least. Imo it could be so much better than it is.

Okay, so all in all, it's a pretty neat song. Some parts were too long, others were a bit awkward, and some bad transitions here and there, but nothing really major as to make the song a really bad one.

... But one thing you do lack is melody ;) . Seeing as this is a prog song, I understand that melody is not the emphasis, but a great melody wouldn't hurt the piece, now, would it? Maybe create one, and repeat it a few time throughout the song with variations between each? You know, like many great bands do (DT's Octavarium is a really nice example of what I'm talking about)? Your melodies and leads are not really articulated in here, and, consequently, the song's not as memorable as it should be, and the sometimes forceful transition isn't helping it either.

Okay, that's pretty much it from me. A nice song, I must say, 'cept for the things I've mentioned :) . The various sections are cool and the ideas were executed quite nicely, but it didn't quite flow that well. Still a great song, though ;) . I know I shouldn't be asking this, but if you have the time, I'd appreciate it if you would check out my newer songs (the one in my sig), just to maybe show you my current capabilities instead from an old piece that I now hate with a passion :p: . No worries, though, don't feel obliged or anything, just that it'd be real great if you do :D . Oh well, thanks for the pleasant listen!

:cheers:

EDITERNITY: After reading your post, I reckon that you used the guitar for rhythm more than lead because of the 1 guitar issue? Then I suggest that you could use the bass for that role, and the guitar could play the lead and solo and whatnot :) . I think the bass could hold its own ground in the rhythm section, giving the guitar the liberty to shred pointlessly a la most prog guitarist do play some nice lead and all :p: .

SHEEM
07-28-2008, 10:17 AM
A happy hippy guide,
To using GP5 -
...and what's more my friend,
This "manual" is in rhyme!

My jaw hit the floor,
When an error I saw,
...I need to update my software?!
AND THERE'S NO GP4?!!!

My eyes did not kid me,
There's not even a midi!
So I let you down gently,
And gave you no critique =(

But if you go to File,
My friend, then export...
...you will look on these wonders,
Of which we have talked.

PDF, Wav and Midi,
And Guitar Pro Format,
You click, and you save as,
Then attach, and that's that.

:haha OMFG :haha

Anyways, nice song. I did really like the whole Guitar-Bass-Drums concept... It reminded me of Rush. Riffs are not great, however they fit the time sigs well. Solo is nice. But after the interlude/solo, the song was a bit boring and over-powerchorded. 8/10

Crit mine?
On the first page.

pixfix
07-30-2008, 12:09 AM
The beginning of the song sounds alot like selkies: The Endless Obsession by BTBAM