Metalcore?


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fezrockz
07-26-2008, 04:58 AM
My first attempt at writing a song.



You can call it metalcore
its unfinished



Needs vocals

and to be criticized (:


EDIT: I changed it up a bit.
[Gp5, Gp4, Midi]

thisdude
07-26-2008, 05:10 AM
a pretty good one. i liked a few riffs.

Demonikk
07-26-2008, 05:13 AM
Reminded me a lot of Parkway Drive, which is a good thing as they're more original and inventive with their riffs than other bands in the genre. Get it finished!

henza_x
07-26-2008, 05:19 AM
If your band was playing this sorta stuff

I'd go watch.

Nice work

fezrockz
07-26-2008, 05:21 AM
thanks guys (:

Any tips to improve it?

Any parts you like in particular?

henza_x
07-26-2008, 05:24 AM
I like the beginning, i'd go back to that part later on in the song

you might try some harmonies with the lead lines

my 2 cents..

lionslicer9999
07-26-2008, 06:06 AM
I like the begining, but you should have harmonized it or something like that.
bars 30 - 37 are my favorite.

all in all, it's awesome =D
Like 99.5/100

fezrockz
07-26-2008, 05:37 PM
thanks guys (:

rolling_stoner
07-27-2008, 05:47 AM
Hey, could you convert it to a .gp3 file or something, so those that can't afford to update their guitar pro can open it?
Thanks :peace:

FlyingPooooo
07-27-2008, 03:11 PM
yeah, I dont have gp5.
I have gp4.
=/

opc100
07-28-2008, 05:27 AM
as i'm on a mac i'm listening to the midi coz im too poor to get leopard :(
i think it starts too suddenly, it just seems to jump right in. the second section i liked a lot. reminded me of dark eternal night. then when it's one guitar i enjoyed ythat bit, and it worked well when the drums and bass came in. there needs o be a transition between the sections, they just seem like they've been thrown together.

i liked the other bits a lot

8/10 methinks

fezrockz
07-28-2008, 05:41 AM
Alright cool so maybe like.

Add an 'intro' to my intro?

haha (:

opc100
07-28-2008, 05:53 AM
yep, exxactly, just a little bit of guitar at the startsay, the intro riff, but without the hemidemisemiquavers

FlyingPooooo
07-28-2008, 10:30 AM
The drums on the intro are a little too much. Work on it a little bit its just too overdramatic. Measure 16 when it descends and ends on a quarter it would sound better to have two eighth notes and go down to the D, in my opinion.

I can't stand measure 19 to 26 and 56 to 65. Try to go out of the rhythm that you are using everywhere else in the song.

27 to 28 are my favorite so far.

My only problem, which happens to be a fatal one, is that you use the exact rhythm in every riff minus one. It gets boring to my ears. Plus the root to fifth pull of to third is the most commonly used metalcore riff out there. (46 to 55) I'm not saying this is a bad song. I see that you can write good metalcore, just try to add diversity.

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15441493#post15441493