Verlassen die Lücke [jazz, bit of metal, you decide what it really is; GP5,GP4,MID]


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TMA-2
09-01-2008, 06:18 AM
so, this is one of the many ridiculous songs i've made, and the first i've shown on here. i had a crapload of caffeine the other day and finally completed (?) it. it's uh, kind of all over the place, which tends to happen with everything i make. just looking for some opinions, criticisms, praise, whatever.

salamander121
09-01-2008, 01:15 PM
Nice work dude, I esp. like the part from 56 to 59, it sounds awesome. Some parts I felt didn't fit in as well, like the beginning, but the rest actually reminded me of a band I know called The Mars Volta. Awesome solo, great bass one too. :cool:

talentfree
09-01-2008, 02:04 PM
the drums were cool ;D
i didnt like the chorus for some reasons, but i think it's my personal opinion, i just dont like the choice of notes.
but the breaks are ♥
the guitar solo was good, i liked the weird sound, but the bass solo was a bit too off the key.
ich schreib jetzt einfach in deutsch weiter und hoffe der liedtitel hat was zu bedeuten.
das stück ab takt 96 wird immer besser finde ich.
und der tremolo pick teil passt da auch richtig rein, und du hast auch die drums schön benutzt zum intensivieren und der blastbeat am schluss hat gepasst.
und die ganzen falschen noten haben mich irgendwie nicht gestört, ich finde sie passen rein.
aber versuch's nicht zu übertreiben. (;

check out the ballad in my sig? :]

PinkIsCool
09-01-2008, 03:34 PM
Wow, I loved it! That's one of the most unique songs I've heard on here!

So yeah, the chorus was really good, I really liked the lead. But I didn't think you needed to repeat it. I mean, you can repeat it, but I think the second time you should change something up, you know what I mean?

Break 1 was amazing, but I didn't like how you went into it. All the instruments pretty much stopped. But yeah, like I said, it's amazing. Especially bar 29.

Break 2 is even better. It's like a sweet metal breakdown with jazzy sounding chords instead of chugs.

Wow there's a lot of breaks lol. Not that that's a bad thing.

The overdub guitar starting at bar 56 did not sound very good.

I didn't like how you sped up the itar during the prechorus. It wasn't reealy neccessary.

The solo was amazing. The bass solo, not so much. Some of it was really good, but there were some bad sounding notes.

Bar 106 was amazing.

The end was kind of wierd lol. Pretty anticlimactic.

But yeah GREAT song there. 9.5/10.

Crit mine? It's in the bottom of my sig.

TMA-2
09-01-2008, 04:24 PM
first of all, thanks for taking the time to comment, guys. i'll definitely crit your stuff tonight.

second: unfortunately, talentfree, i don't actually understand german very well :( i just stuck "entering the void" into google's translator 'cause i wanted to be pretentious with the song title, so i missed the second half of your comment.

bloodshed344
09-01-2008, 05:28 PM
Straight from Google translator:

I write now simply in German, and hope the liedtitel hat was mean.
the piece from takt 96 is always better I think.
and the tremolo pick as part fits properly clean, and you have the beautiful drums used to intensify and has blastbeat on financial fit.
and all the wrong notes have not disturbed me somehow, I think they fit inside.
but try not to overdo's. (;

The Arsis
02-14-2010, 07:09 PM
Chorus - I really like this part of the song. It have an extremely mellow jazziness to it. This is my favorite part of the song.

Verse - Pretty solid part of the song.

Break 1 - I thought the transition to the break wasn't too good but I thought when it reached bar 25, it got better.

Break 2 - seemed extremely slow.

Break 4 - Didn't like this break. Not a fan of this part.

Prechrous - is pretty cool.

Bass solo - I personally thought you did excellently with the bass solo. Great job.