"Ascension" (GP5, GP4, MIDI)
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09-02-2008, 12:06 AM
Here's a little piece I've been working on.
Genre? Probably falls somewhere close to Opeth's Damnation album or Katatonia.
i had a half finished stinker up a day or two ago that had a few replies. this is similar to that song but i changed a lot of the problems i personally had with the song and deleted the thread.
crit for crit and all of that, thanks
e: some of you may find the piano intro annoying and long, so if you're impatient or low on time jump to the "Awakened" marker.
09-02-2008, 07:13 AM
Nice intro, definetly reminds me of Opeth - I can imagine Mikael Åkerfeldt singing over that! Some heavier parts would be nice I think, but thats probably because I enjoy songs like this which change a lot between different styles. It's well written and flows nicely, and sounds pretty dark, in a very good way. I usually dislike songs like this when they remain calm, but I enjoyed this. 8/10!
Crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949005
09-02-2008, 01:39 PM
Holy testicles of jesus that was amazing! I would hesitate to compare this to Damnation simply because its so much more complex than Windowpane, or To Rid the Disease, etc.
The intro is great. I love the almost classical style that the piano uses throughout the entire song, and the tempo fluctuations in the intro give it a really abstract dreamy feel. It does drag on a bit, however, but thats just a matter of patience.
The buildup at "Awakened" was good too. I love the chords you use. They're very unique and it makes it sound much darker than if you had just stuck to the basic diatonic chords.
25 reminds me of Pink Floyd. I'm not sure if thats what you were intending, but it works. I also really like the chromatic chord progression at 33.
"lamenting" is probably my favorite part. the sus4 chords really give it a big, powerful sound. Also, it would seem that the song up to here would be repetitive, but since everything gets layered it doesnt get old.
Beauty is also wicked good. However, the clashing triplet and straight 8th note rhythm gets a little odd after awhile. It sounds good at first, but by bar 70 it gets weird.
The delay track sounds strang during the "clear thoughts" section. Some of the notes just clash. However, the piano here is excellent, especially at 82. Can you play all these piano parts?
Scratch my previous statement, "Ascension" is my favorite section. The piano, again, is fantastic. I really hope you can play that part just so I can hear an actual recording.
Excellent piece. The pnly gripes are minute and the whole thing was extremely original. I hope you plan on recording this.
Crit mine? Might not be your style at all, but whatever.
Prog Metal (http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949631)
09-02-2008, 10:18 PM
very nice! I loved this piece. everything flowed really nicely and fit together beautifully. like the other guy said, I was hoping for some really dynamic changes, but that's not saying I wasn't satisfied. Piano parts were very well written although sometimes pretty impossible :p: I think you could have done more with the guitars. They seemed pretty "pushed aside" so to speak. didn't really ever feel the limelight IMO but that's kinda irrelevant. It's good as is.
I felt like the last chord needed to be fuller and all the instruments shouldn't drop out. :shrug:
but other than those nitpicky details, this was very good. I can definitely see an Opeth influence. :cheers:
09-06-2008, 10:03 PM
thanks for the feedback. i've finished the vocal melodies and made some minor changes as well as replacing one of the guitar lead lines with a sweeping lead to accompany the piano and updated the attached files accordingly
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