Slow Riff Not sure any good...


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09-02-2008, 10:37 AM
Hi there :)

I have a GP4 Tab here and Im not sure if its any good. So Im going to ask you guys about it.

Notes (Please Read)

I dont play guitar so I cant right solo's so I just went with the notes for this one.

I am unsure about the ending of the Chorus' but I can easilly change that.

The Rhythm guitar has to do alot in this song. So I need advice on whether I should change that...

Drums Suck. I know.

Thanks for Looking ! :)

* For All Files go down the Page and find the File, "Song All" *

09-02-2008, 10:45 AM
Its ok and yeah the drums don't match well but it repeats like crazy O.O It needs allot of work after the intro

Friendly Stoat
09-02-2008, 10:46 AM
I like the riffs you've put in here, and for someone who doesn't play guitar, you've done a damn good job of that solo. It works well, but you definetly need to use that main riff a bit less and put some more different ones in. It's good, but too repetitive. Otherwise good though! 7/10.


09-02-2008, 10:53 AM
Thanks for the comments. The repeating is the annoying bit. What can I do? Random fills?

The drumming Needs to be sorted out. alot... Im working on it now...

Friendly Stoat
09-02-2008, 11:14 AM
I'd suggest doing some arpeggios of the chords during the chorus, using the same notes but in higher octaves. I can try and do an example if you like? Also, I think the 2 verses should be different in some way, perhaps some lead in the second verse, or in the second half of each verse. There's a few ideas anyway, dunno what you'll think of them but yeah :)

09-02-2008, 11:33 AM
Hey this is still too repetitive, but I made something you can work on....

Just made a few changes for you to see what stuff you can do.... Look at the file I've sent.

The riff isn't bad, but It's a little bit too straightforward. The solo sounds great! I think if you make good lyrics and vocal melodies, the song would be average good even if you don't change anything.

The drums are terrible.

Try making more riffs and do some interplays and stuff like that.

09-02-2008, 11:42 AM
Thanks. I've used that and already have version 2...

(I used both idea's and am now coming up with a V3)

09-02-2008, 11:59 AM
Now it sounds a lot better, thats the right way to go ;-) This is already good. The V3 will be great ;-) still not really the metal I'm into, but very good ;)

09-02-2008, 02:09 PM
Thanks for the comments... V3 Has glitched for some reason...

So I rewrote the whole thing. Here :)

09-02-2008, 04:21 PM
great rewrite now you got it :)

Friendly Stoat
09-02-2008, 04:26 PM
That's much better, well done! I especially like the leads on the final chorus. 8/10

09-03-2008, 05:23 AM
Thanks. I'll Put a power tab file on soon aswell :)

Edit: Just finished Power tab file, Including some GP5 Versions :).

Enjoy :)

09-03-2008, 07:34 AM
you should just edit the new versions into your first post. It makes it a lot easier for everyone. :)

but this was a good effort. It's definitely lacking in some places, but I feel like you're gonna grow a lot as a songwriter in the near future based on what you already have now. The main riff started getting annoying once it was used so much. I suggest you add in some variations to each of the riffs you have here. and I think it'd be in your best interest to bump the tempo up a bit. drums sounded fine to me by the way. but overall, this song could use a lot of work but it has awesome potential. :D

could you crit mine? It's somewhere on the first page....I'll put it in my sig for you. ;)