Metalcore (GP4, GP5, and MIDI)


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bakshandloomis
09-02-2008, 07:35 PM
It's been a while since I posted song; I've been working on a style that I'm sure almost no one else in the world would be fond of :p:.

As for this song, I'd say its pretty generic, mostly just raping one chord progression, but I'm looking to start a new band and need a pretty easy song.

C4C.

atlmetal
09-02-2008, 07:52 PM
I thought that was really really good

Ailes
09-03-2008, 06:05 AM
Nice song. The slower pace, lack of overtly swedish metalriffs or chromatic tech-ness, instead playing around with the harmony/disharmony of bigger chords most of the time, all reminded me very much of Misery Signals. Good thing that is, I'm a fan. If you don't know them yet (doubt it), give them a spin (best record: 'of malice and the magnum heart'), there are also some good GP tabs around here. They seem to be what you're aiming for with it, at least that's how my personal tastes associate it, they would really play large portions of the song as their own (minus the solo, of course).
One thing I didn't like was that in the long run the same-y halftime drumpattern really dragged it. A little dose of that 'marching' feel is appreciated for an outro but I wouldn't use it for a whole song. Because of that (same drumpattern) the whole song very much felt like breakdown-chords-breakdown-chords-break.... . I know you opted for some variety, for example there's a tasteful clean interlude (nice buildup to the next part, definetly a keeper), or a solo, but in the end real variety would need to come in the form of some different drumrhythms, I feel.
Anyways. You seem to know what you're doing, your older songs already showed me that (and yes, this seems a bit toned down in technicality, but hey, I liked your other/older band). With two, three more songs in that style I'm sure you'll hit it right. Keep it up!

bakshandloomis
09-03-2008, 07:54 AM
Alies, I was actually listening to Misery Signals as I read you crit, haha. Misery Signals and August Burns Red were my two biggest influences for this song; Protest the Hero influenced most of the leads, though.

Thanks for the crits.

Friendly Stoat
09-03-2008, 11:54 AM
I really enjoyed this song. It sounds so powerful, even as a GP file! I thought that the clean bits were a really nice touch, and there are some really nice melodies in there. The solo fits well too, it's fast without being too fast for the song, as it's a relatively slow one. I assume this would have a lot of clean singing in it? Reminded me very much of Killswitch Engage's 'My Curse'. That's a very good thing :p: I honestly can't find fault with this song. Well done mate. 10/10.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949005

bloodshed344
09-03-2008, 09:52 PM
Really good song you got here, you said you would keep it simple and I was expecting the worse. It is pretty simple, but it manages to be somewhat progressive too, I could see it appealing to a progressive crowd and a mainstream crowd. Here is an indepth review of each part:

The string ensemble is a good opener, nothing to comment here.

The 7/4 riff is rather surprising, I just barely noticed it wasn't in 4/4 and I must congratulate you on that. It sets a pretty standard mood, somewhat epic. Great bass here.

Bars 11-18 is just standard metalcore, but it goes well into the next part.

The clean part is good, but one thing that GREATLY disturbed me was the fact there wasn't a bass+crash hit at the beginning of this measure(19).

I'm not sure if the dissonant harmonies were intended at 27-34 but they sound fine, just a heads up.

35 is a good, albeit standard spin on things.

I don't like the harmonies at 40 and 42, it sounds better unharmonized in my opinion.

However, the harmonized guitars that start out at 43 are fine, and this whole section sounds good. The chugging sounds good right after the harmonized leads, also cool rhythm with the chugging.

When 53 starts it creates a very foreboding atmosphere and the keyboard here helps alot too.

55 and 59 were both awesome with the triplets, but I didn't like the halftime cymbals in 55.

61-68 is cool, drum fill was great here.

Great use of bass at 69, really good.

93 was a good changeup on the rhythm, made it seem more epic.

I think 101 was a good riff, but the blast beats from the drums sound weird. I think they would sound better with open hi hats instead of the ride.

I'm really loving this solo, you can feel the emotion(lol) through the MIDI, but I think that the last few measures of the shredding could be done away with.

Nice return to the epic chorusey section, and the last 4 measures are a great way to end it.




All in all, good job.

billybusa
09-04-2008, 04:57 PM
I think everyone else said everything I was gonna say :P

the riff at bar 45-60 is my favourite, that was pretty awesome with the strings and all :]

onebetter
09-04-2008, 06:20 PM
Thanks for the crit.

Now on to the song.

I like the first riff at bar 3. It's very melodic and uses the 7/4 meter very well, whihc is cool since most riffs of the sort are just straight 4/4.

The next riff at 11 is good too, but I think the song thus far could use a little bit of a tempo bump. I know it seems trivial, and I know I have a boner for all things superfluously paced, but I think a bump to 140bpm would benefit the song. Its your call though.

The clean part at 19 is nice, but the lead guitar seems to be doing some funky things there. I think the lead and the bass would be better off ending on the open C5 rather than the G#5 you have there. I also think the lead should fade that note out instead of hitting it again then suddenly stopping to go clean. Again, this is just nitpicking.

The bass at 27 seems a bit funky too. It clutters things up a fair bit and has some notes that don't sit well with me in it. For example, bar 27 (and later bar 31) plays an F as the root, but an F doesn't appear in the Cm chord the guitar plays. I think you should rework the bassline here. Just stick to the tones in the chords (ex. for bar 27 use C G and D#) and vary the rhythm so it doesn't make things cluttered. Also, having the bass hit some notes in the same octave as the guitar can sound really good too. Sorry for the wall of text here, I'm a bass player, so this things bother me.

35 is good, a little generic, and, like Ailes said, you could use a different drumbeat once in awhile so every riff doesn't sound like a breakdown. There's nothing wrong with breakdowns, but, you know, too much of a good thing...

I'm really digging the part at 43. I love the lead and I love how it varies between lead and rhythm. However, the bass is bothering me again at 44. I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with it, or if there's anything wrong with it, but it sounds strange to me. Nitpicking aside, its an excellent riff, and I like the little buildup into 53.

53, although a decent riff on its own, loses some of its coolness because, as I said before, the whole song has had the same "snare accent on beat 3" feel to it. I think one of the reasons breakdowns sound so cool when they're implemented well is that they usually come after particularly intense sections and ass contrast. Think of it in terms of "feel". When a song is pluggin along with a driving rock/blast/D beat and all of a sudden the intensity levels off and starts to get some "groove", the new section feels that much cooler when its completely different than the one before it. Again, trivial stuff here, but since the song is so good to start with, it just needs some minor adjustments to become that much better.

Back to the song. Like I said before, 53 is a pretty cool part and I like the use of triplets at 55. I just used that same idea in a breakdown actually.

I like the solo bass at 69 (tehe), but I have the same complaint as before at 77.

I agree with bloodshed344 that at 101 the blasts feel out of place. If the whole song had been using blast beats it might have sounded better, but such a sudden and brief use of them, especially on the offbeats sounds a bit jarring.

The solo at 117 is very good. It could use a bit more rhythmic variation, but otherwise it's a solid solo. The sweeping at 133, I'm afraid I must say, is ****ing epic. Very Paul Waggoner-esque (holy crap BTBAM is being mentioned everywhere these days). Stuff like this make me wish I didn;t suck at sweep picking.

The ending is a good, solid wrap up, but the chord the keyboard plays doesn't feel like a good chord to end on. I would end it on Cm, but if you like it how it is that's fine.

Holy crap that was a long crit. Sorry if I sound too negative. Its an excellent song, there were just a few areas that needed some work. For the most part, if I didn't comment on something, I really liked it but didn't feel there was a need to mention it. Good work. 9/10.

bakshandloomis
09-05-2008, 01:17 AM
The sweeping at 133, I'm afraid I must say, is ****ing epic. Very Paul Waggoner-esque (holy crap BTBAM is being mentioned everywhere these days).

I think that's the best compliment I have ever recieved :) .

I've been working on changing up the drums, and I made a few minor changes that Bloodshed had suggested; I'll work on the bass tomorrow.

And, Friendly Stoat, I'll get to your crit tomorrow.

fill
09-05-2008, 06:06 AM
1 Like intro
2 Very nice clean part but harmony i think spoils it
3 Beautiful main riff but i hear some dissonans
4 bass solo dislike
5 blast was shown spare
6 as to solo-i dont like gamma solos

I think song require to remake!!!
Total 8/10 But remake it man=)


one of mine? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=951473

Its_Rock77
09-05-2008, 10:52 PM
wow, I absolutely loved this.
the main riff/intro/whatever it was was awesome. verse/chorus/inteludes/breakdown/everything was amazingly well done even though it's not overly technical or whatever.
this is basically exactly what I want to be able to write. you did so much with so little.
I couldn't find anything that I didn't like to tell the truth.

sorry for the worthless crit. :(
but could you crit mine? it's in my sig.

MattAnderson111
09-05-2008, 11:22 PM
i really like 19-34 ( i think) its the best part in my opinion, Bars 101 and up (till the end of the song) Were awesome, i like the casual solo, then it solo gets heavier and faster, ive always been a fan of calm solos, at 141 you have the extra guitar sqeaul a high note, id just get rid of that.

Overall 8.3412 Pie and a half.

Pabli7o
09-08-2008, 09:10 PM
i hear some killswitch engage. Most of their intros and some outros are like your song. Very cool stuff.

bulletrocks522
11-10-2008, 05:29 PM
Dude, even though I usually dislike metalcore, I HAVE to giuve you props on this one. I love that chord progression!!!! I also liked that you mixed it up a little with the 7/4 time. The interludes were very beautiful!!! Check my Jazz Death Metal song.

actaderock
07-21-2009, 01:14 PM
IDK, ppl, but for some reason i found it boring