Metalcore [GP5, GP4, MIDI] C4C


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billybusa
09-04-2008, 03:52 PM
Okay so this is obviously unfinished but I need your opinions.

I've submitted three of my own songs before and got absolutely no crits/comments at all, so please help me out guys

Ignore bar 30-34

Friendly Stoat
09-04-2008, 04:00 PM
Good start to your song. I'm not sure about the first time signature change, somehow it doesn't flow as well as the rest. However there's some really good riffs there, and I liked the harmonisation as well. My favourite part was the riff from bars 15 to 20, it sounds really technical and goes really well. Definetly worth carrying on with this!

Crit mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949005

bakshandloomis
09-04-2008, 04:05 PM
I like the first riff, but I think you should repeat the bar 4 times before going into the breakdown, instead of 8. The breakdown rhythm is pretty cool. the 6/4 riff at bar 13 isn't really that interesting IMO, but it's not bad at all. The riff at bar 15 has been done WAY to many times, I have been guilty of using this type of riffing too. The part starting at 30 is my favorite riff. For the 32-34 part, repeat 34 one more time so the riff is 32-35 and you've got a B.A. riff.

C4C?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=949908

szekelymihai
09-04-2008, 04:20 PM
preety good.sounds like SOAD and i like them but not very much.in order to get some critting go into the recording forum, crit some songs and leave your link.that way youll get more chances to be critted.
anyway I pretty much agree with the guys above, but i really dont mind the time sig.its so unimportant.the bridge was nice,and also the main riff(the harmony).keep on working.;)
Crit mine if youd like?its in the sig

Ailes
09-04-2008, 05:15 PM
hey.
Some good material there, but needs some polishing to shine. It's fairly standart, but hey, I don't hold that seriously against anyone (after all, "the standart" is standart for a reason, namely: it works), and if you're just starting out, it's a good exercise to slap some standart tunes together (you know the stuff about knowing the rules first then breaking them..)

As it is, its obviously unfinished, but hey, good if you're inclined to work with it further, there are some great possibilites hidden in some of those riffs. The 6/4 section, for example, was rhythmically slightly off. I included a 'more polished' restatement of the first riffs in the attachement, nothing serious, just to give you some points. I like the style of the fast riffs in bar 15 onwards, definetly a keeper if you can incorporate and transition them properly. I'm especially fond of some of the later chordal harmonies (that are still on the 'workpile', I suppose), I bet something more developed like this will make a nice chorus which will do as a nice counterpoint to fast riffs. Keep it up!

madhampster
09-04-2008, 05:31 PM
I think it sounds pretty sweet man. I really thought the opening riff and bars 13-14 were pretty badass. Keep it up!

billybusa
09-04-2008, 05:59 PM
hey.
Some good material there, but needs some polishing to shine. It's fairly standart, but hey, I don't hold that seriously against anyone (after all, "the standart" is standart for a reason, namely: it works), and if you're just starting out, it's a good exercise to slap some standart tunes together (you know the stuff about knowing the rules first then breaking them..)

As it is, its obviously unfinished, but hey, good if you're inclined to work with it further, there are some great possibilites hidden in some of those riffs. The 6/4 section, for example, was rhythmically slightly off. I included a 'more polished' restatement of the first riffs in the attachement, nothing serious, just to give you some points. I like the style of the fast riffs in bar 15 onwards, definetly a keeper if you can incorporate and transition them properly. I'm especially fond of some of the later chordal harmonies (that are still on the 'workpile', I suppose), I bet something more developed like this will make a nice chorus which will do as a nice counterpoint to fast riffs. Keep it up!

wow yeah the breakdown riff sounded way better in your one.

thanks, I'm gonna go ahead and steal it xD