Hanted - Acoustic, Bass [GP4,GP5]


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HeavyMetaldude
09-09-2008, 08:16 PM
EDIT: Goddamnit i mispelled haunted in the title.
Hello again. I wrote this very short little peice last night and i'm not sure where i want to go with it. It's kinda dissonant and eerie and i guess i want it to follow those lines the whole way through, but i am open to suggestions. It is defenitly incomplete and i would like your help.

If you could give it a listen and point me in the right direction (or any direction) it would be greatly appreciated. Also, could someone tell me what key(s) it is in (or close to).

Oh and C4C

Thanks

AngrySockMonkey
09-09-2008, 08:49 PM
Amazing, a nice little ditty (tee hee).

Would make a good interlude or something of the sort.

I really didn't see anything that needed critiquing.. it seemed perfect in my eyes. Nice dissonant creepy feel throughout and an interesting time signature.

As for C4C, I will have a song up on the front page in the next couple days aha.

HeavyMetaldude
09-09-2008, 08:58 PM
Amazing, a nice little ditty (tee hee).

Would make a good interlude or something of the sort.

I really didn't see anything that needed critiquing.. it seemed perfect in my eyes. Nice dissonant creepy feel throughout and an interesting time signature.

As for C4C, I will have a song up on the front page in the next couple days aha.

Thanks.

Let me know when its up.

ganyo
09-10-2008, 11:27 AM
hey!

i like the harmony, ur using in the main-theme. it's the A#, which makes it quite special.

but i think the bass ist kind of unnecessary here. it's kind of boring, could really be better.

onebetter
09-10-2008, 05:15 PM
Holy crap that was an old thread you bumped. I had totally forgot about those songs and then I saw them on the first page I was all :wtf: Thanks for the crits tough.

Also, no, I actually listen to very little Deep Purple and haven't the faintest idea who Steve Morse is. The only song I've really heard (besides the obvious Smoke on the Water) is Hush.

Now to the song. This first part at bar 1 gives me the chills. It's very old school horror movie sounding, like it belongs in the title sequence to Friday the 13th. As good as this part sounds however, the sound does seem a little sparse at parts. Some piano, synth pads, and some subtle percussion could do wonders for the atmosphere.

Very minor nitpick here, but the Emadd11+ chord at the end of bar 4 should have a downstroke (Ctrl+D) on it, IMO. It really doesn't matter either way, but I'm picky about these things.

The entrance of the bass does change things up a bit, especially by giving it more of a 3/4, carnival music pulse, but I think the bass seems a bit underdevelopped. It could do a bit more than just accent the downbeats with root notes, but if you like how it is that's fine.

Another tiny gripe, the Emadd9 at the end of bar 8 feels out of place. I would pick a more dissonant chord as, in my experience, add9 chords sound very floaty and dreamy, whereas you have a very dark, chromatic vibe here, so it does not seem like the next logical step musically.

I like the part at bar 9, too, but, like I said before, it could use some extra layers, as it sounds a bit empty as is. Percussion especially would spice this part up. Also, the bass, again, could do more than root note accents. Finally, the transition back into the first part at bar 15 feels a little forced. A better segway could be used, or it could chang into another pat completely, it's up to you.

Biggest gripe, way too short. However, the limited amount of things you can do with this chromatic style of music lends things like this to short musical sections, and I could see this as an excellent intro to a metal song. Definately do something with it, as it has potential, but by itself it feels a little underwhelming.

By the way, I have more funk-rock songs that I forgot to put in my sig. I'll dig up the threads if you want to give those a listen, too. I think I should update the songs in my sig.

Funk-Rock 1 (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=753423)
Funk-Rock 2 (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=692565)

poopdedoop
09-10-2008, 08:17 PM
This has a really cool creepiness about it. I don't know why, but for some reason it makes me think of the Rugrats (yes, that cartoon) in a graveyard.

Regardless, it's a neat piece of music. Nothing really wrong with it. Whatever it's supposed to be, it works quite nicely!

-Poop

Revolverileo
09-13-2008, 11:06 AM
Hey thanks for your crit! I didn't expect anybody to bump that song anymore so I'm sorry it took me this long to crit back but better late then never huh?

I really like what you got here. The beginning part kinda sounds like something Mikael Åkerfeldt could've come up with and that's a huge + :D. From bar 9 onwards the melody kinda brought back memories of the Phantom Train part in Final Fantasy 6. All in all the "interlude" was not generic at all and gave these wierd vibes that I liked :D.

If you're still planning to do something more with this thing I'd say go ahead, it could really turn into something even more interesting.