Pale Moonlight (Genre-Inside) -GP5/4, MIDI, C4C-


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Slaytanic1993
09-11-2008, 05:11 PM
Firstly, sorry to those who responded to my last song, I will crit yours soon...I've been a tad more busy pampering this song.

Alright, this is my first attempt at merging black metal and post-hardcore. It has less black metal bits, but I think they fit well. The PH parts are more similar to the more popular post-hardcore/almost alt. bands like early My Chemical Romance, The Used, and some influence from My Bloody Valentine. Lasted a bit longer than I originally expected it to be.

Alright, since this is my (or anyones, I think) first attempt at this don't kill me if it's that bad.

bloodshed344
09-11-2008, 08:26 PM
Oh sorry, nevermind. I didn't notice what you said at the top.

Broadsword
09-11-2008, 09:56 PM
When doing something like this, you have to have either damn good transitions between separate genres or merge the genres with eachother. In all honesty, this was neither. The BM parts seemed randomly placed, and the lack of any real transition coupled with a sudden key change is a recipe for bad juju. You have the right idea, but the wrong way of going about it. Unfortunately, I can't really offer any suggestions as I have little to no experience with hardcore or alt. What I can say though is that perhaps the merging route would be better; ie, maybe mixing tremolo lines with the chord progressions, which in turn lead up into solely BM sections, then back out, and so on and so forth. Or you could completely drop any BM parts and have a nice (insert strange alt. genre here) song. :p:

That being said, I dug the song and the idea behind it. Innovation is always great to see.

Slaytanic1993
09-11-2008, 10:10 PM
Dammit :(

Well, I'll work on it as much as possible, simply because I want to see this type of music go somewhere.

Broadsword
09-11-2008, 10:19 PM
Of course!

Another thing: perhaps you're wielding the wrong style of BM as well. As you well know, BM is incredibly diverse, so there's a wealth of combinations still waiting. Just keeping at it, you're bound to hit the right spot soon enough! I'll be watching this one.

Slaytanic1993
09-11-2008, 10:21 PM
Yes, possibly a more simple tremolo base would work well.

I'll just try it and see how it works out. I'll just do seperate files, post them here and you guys be the judge?

Its_Rock77
09-11-2008, 10:21 PM
wow, I've got to say you've got something going. like broadsword said, there is way too much separation between the genres. it'd be cool if you could somehow combine them.
that aside, this was a pretty cool song. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't think you could write catchy rock stuff like this :p: but you pulled it off. the 6/4 to 4/4 verse thing was really cool. I think the chorus should have more energy in it. at least near the end. it shouldn't always slow down. intro was a bit long btw. forgot to say that. drumming was a bit :eek: at points. I think you should focus a bit more on keeping a beat even if it's black metal. :)

but overall, good work. I enjoyed it. and I thanked God that you didn't call MCR emo. ;)

Slaytanic1993
09-11-2008, 10:25 PM
I know mah genres bitch :p:

Anyways, I'll either end up attempting a better transition point or just drop them altogether and have a nice alt. song like B said.

Slaytanic1993
09-13-2008, 02:49 PM
Alright, smoothed up the transitions a bit...one is a bit meh still, but it's a lot better now.

And, I wasn't anywhere near a guitar yesterday so this change didn't take three days or anything :p:.

Sorry for DP, also.

Graveworm
09-15-2008, 10:56 PM
You man the happiest Black metal verses? :haha


They aren't very... Black Metal.

Slaytanic1993
09-16-2008, 07:14 AM
I don't think you've heard much depressive black metal, like Nyktalgia, Leviathan, Xasthur, and Mortifera.

Very similar chord progression to these guys. That is, the parts labelled "BLACK METAL VERSES."

I even stated in my OP that this song only has the blackness strewn throughout it.

korinaflyingv
09-16-2008, 10:02 AM
I really liked the alt rock chord progression you had going there, nice melody in that bit too, very catchy.
I thought the black metal bits were shit though, sorry...
I think it would be a good idea if you developed the alt rock bit more, adding black metal elements (for example adding blast beats or tremolo picking as the song goes on). Also I think it would be good if you voiced the chords a bit differently - just sounds a bit dull with plain powerchords.