Seas of Gold [GP5.2/GP4/Midi]


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Sum41DudeRob
09-18-2008, 12:57 PM
A little piece of music I'm working on.
It's only in the early stages. It will probably be used as an intro, or an interlude.

Some parts sound sketchy, but they will be fixed, especially with suggestions.
The gap that puts the two parts together is the only thing I'm having problems with.

So suggestions are welcomed ^_^

icronic
09-18-2008, 04:50 PM
Definitely a good start, but it's got a ways to go.

Your lead stuff is great. Nice phrasing good note choices.

My suggestions:

The riff does get a little repetitive there are a number of things that I think could fix this.

First, you could change the riff up when the solo guitar is playing, either put in a big ringing chord, or rephrase the riff or something like that.

You could also take a bluesish approach and have the riff go from E to A to B or something along those lines.

You could also slightly vary the riff from time to time, or perhaps have one of the rhythm guitars start harmonizing at some point, or have it come in and play a counter riff.

Bars 13-16 are very weak. The suggestions I have for this are pretty much the same as my previous suggestions. Build a new riff there out of some kind of chord progression, have your section guitar doing something over top, or even bring the solo guitar in for that part.

The change at bar 31 is very awkward. I've got an idea how to fix it, but instead of trying to explain I'll simply show you :)

Anyway. Take a look at what I've done, it's quick and dirty, but it may help you out or give you some new ideas on what you could do.

callingforhuey
10-09-2008, 02:30 PM
I agree with icronic, i think your emptier bits with the lead and clean should follow more of a minor blues pattern - its sorta where your mind expects it to go, it also gives you more scope for flavour with your lead part. I do, however like what you've got there - that'd be a sweet Track 7 out of 11 sorta thing on an album, esp if you do rockier stuff. It's sorta like candlebox-ish, its really nice.

FFDP_Metal_Head
10-10-2008, 12:45 AM
It definitely has a good start to it, but I think it's one of those pieces where its in desperate need of a percussion foundation. Even something basic, but it kind of sounds like a lullaby without it. Like I said, it sounds good, it just needs that tiny edge to go with it. Nice job though