My First Song (Advice Needed)


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Melodic_Rocker
09-20-2008, 11:42 AM
So this is the first song I've ever fully written. It's very simple and basic and needs a lot of fine tuning and more stuff added. However, I don't even know where to begin. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And please take it easy on the criticism as it is my first song. Oh, and as for the solo and riffs I can't shred yet, nor do I want to. It's just not my cup of tea.

Its_Rock77
09-20-2008, 12:18 PM
to tell the truth, I really didn't like this that much. :( sorry.

but for a first song, it was a great start. I think you really need some leads to spice things up. solos need some rhythm. why does everything drop out? I also thought it sounded better like at 170 bpm. pre outro riff was pretty cool, but once again it needs something under it.

but all that aside, you're off to a good start. I'm sure once you get the hang of guitar pro, your songs will start to sound a lot better. that's what happened with me. :)
mind critting mine? it's in my sig. :cheers:

Melodic_Rocker
09-20-2008, 12:29 PM
thanks for the reply, i tried 16th notes in the verse and chorus and i thought that sounded a little better. i still havent gotten used to the drums on guitar pro. I'll try and come up with something to make the rhythm and stuff a little more interesting

icronic
09-20-2008, 01:50 PM
As much work as this song needs, you have a very solid structure to work with, and for a first song that's a fairly huge accomplishment.

The intro is a little long, I'd take about 4 bars away from it, or find some way of changing it up a little. Also having the intro end on a sustained B5 chord is unresolved. Try an E5 or D5 instead.

For the verse you should try throwing in some quick 16th note scratches, maybe sustain a chord for a full note or half note, and also occasionally incorporate some other chords in. You've got B5 and A5 in there right now, D, E, F# and G would all fit in nicely.

Just to get you started off, why not try replacing some of those A chords with D instead? Maybe every second one in every second bar or something like that, just kind of experiment with it. That way instead only going down from your primary B chord you'd move both ways giving you more a feeling of movement.

You have to be careful with that pre-verse. Having a rest on the first beat of a bar will throw any kind of groove you had out the window. You may want to only have that rest there for the first bar, and then find some way of filling it in for the next two.

Same for the chorus. you can keep the chords the way they are, but just alter the rhythm to make it a little more interesting.

The solo... If you're going to drop the band out like you did you really need to have a really strong and rhythmic solo. I know you said you don't shred, and that's fine but shredding is more than just playing fast, otherwise Stevie Ray Vaughan or Hendrix would be shredders :) Anyway, you've got a lot of weird notes in there that don't really work well, and it lacks any kind of rhythm or memorable melody. My advice would be to just write something that sticks to your B minor pentatonic box, and to study guys like SRV, Hendrix, Clapton, Slash, Angus Young, David Gilmour and so on, and just steal their licks.

Pre-outro riff is actually a lick not a riff. :)

Outro doesn't work. it's that rest on the first beat again, just makes it feel jerkity.

Anyway, don't let any of this stuff discourage you, first songs are always very difficult, and you definitely have got a nice start. With some work this could definitely be a good song.

If you feel like checking any of my stuff out there are links in my sig :) Although, it's almost borderline shred at times.

Melodic_Rocker
09-20-2008, 02:50 PM
Thanks for the tips. I shortened the intro and the break in the pre -verse, and I tried a catchier rhythm with more chords in the chorus and verse. Once the song gets decent and stronger I'll work on the solo, although I did change it a little bit I just need to give it a better rhythm. Thanks very much again