more Metalcore (GP4,GP5, MIDI)


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bakshandloomis
09-21-2008, 03:40 AM
I am trying to continue the same style as my last song, as it seemed to get some pretty positive crits.

And, as always,
C4C.

Regression
09-21-2008, 03:52 AM
I'm loving it so far.

The dissonant lead part. It has a really cool atmosphere at the start.

27 onwards is kind of a let down, it's to cut up. It loses flow.

44 besides being rather cliche is pretty cool.

At bar 48 it feels like the music is straying to far from the song, like the direction is kind of being lost.

After that nothing catches my attention till 79 when you use that riff but on a clean channel. Pretty good. :)

After that it's basically just non stop Killswitch fanboy-ness. 107 onwards returning to that main them which is good, because it's generally a cool idea. :)

Edit: Didn't really suggest much there, basically the only standout bit was the opening part. The other stuff was good, but just didn't quite match up to it. I assume you don't want to change much though, but if anything, just try make it feel like it's the same song through out. Sometimes it feels like it's a completely different song. That can be used to good effect sometimes, but in this it just feels odd.

Ailes
09-21-2008, 05:35 AM
yay, more Misery Signals-y goodness. Come to think of it, maybe in time I will like your current incarnation more than the stuff you previously posted, after all the (tabbing) world has no shortage of Btbam Rip bands, but not much in the realm of serious melodic hardcore that both eases up on the sweden-riffs and/or 'tech' nonsense. So with that out of the way, congrats for taking your direction. I hope you stick around with this style for a bit to explore its possibiltities. I was not awestruck by anything yet, but the stuff so far shows you have in you what it takes to churn out some masterpieces eventually.

As far as the actual piece here is concerned, there are some great ideas. Personally, I felt (esp. later on) that the tempo could be notched down a few bpms, because the one tempo it has felt rather arkward in places. Maybe make some different tempo change points (so that it doesn't drag in the intro, but doesn't push too much in the later more tech-y sections - especially those, I felt, would profit from a bit slower tempo).
I like the idea of the intro, the distorted, slightly dissonant picking above the chug riffing. My only gripe is that I'd consider not simply repeating the same lead guitar picking again, but vary things up a bit in the 2nd or 4th repetition. And/Or you could have the rhythm guitar play some melodynotes too in some places that intertwine with the lead.
Next 'tech riff' is good. The drum break could maybe accentuate the rhythm changes more. I also felt this section could be a couple of bpms slower. Anyways, the melodic section in bar 28 I felt would really profit by making it into an 9/8 measure (adding one 8th note rest at the end), and changing the drumrhythms up underneath (snare on the 2s and 4s are fine, but with the 9/8 beat you have more interesting options. It suits well for a more epic halftime beat, or even a faster 8th note bass-snare combination, or even 16th notes bass snare, as you later on employ yourself. Maybe find some of those cool rhythms and distribute them among the several 9/8 parts then. That'd be golden.
The later melody stuff from bar 36 was good, very Misery-ish, although in the long run I'd probably wish for some more rhythmic imagination, not repeating the same pattern too much. I know you're trying to establish a groove here, it's just that this particular pattern doesn't spark my interest too much, feels rather pedestrian.
Later breakdowns are ok. Nothing that really jumps out at you, but with a bit more slower tempos it flows quite nicely. I'd however really rethink the riff in bar 71. Now, on its own it's a fine idea, and it's also not harmonically out, but the particular rhythm and way the riff is executed makes it feel rather ill-fitting for me. Keep the progression, by all means, and the basic outline of the melody notes, but on the general type of the riff I'd go back on the drawing board. Especially the clean repetition threw me out, and not in a good way.
Solos, hm, I'd ease up on the sweeping passages. In such a style I'd rather play towards (deceptively) simple but colorful lead melodies that add to the harmonic depth of the piece. Or maybe I'm just consciously sticking too close to the Misery Signals -formula here. If you like that sort of solo thing, by all means go for it, your ears are the judge.
Outro same as intro, so same critiques apply.
Keep it up!

Friendly Stoat
09-21-2008, 09:59 AM
Nice work! I love the atmosphere created by the riffing at the start, sounded awesome. I liked the double bass bit in the intro as well. First verse/chorus has some great melodies, and I liked the heavier bit after what I assume is the chorus :p: Great harmonisation in bars 67-69. I think the clean part should perhaps be a little bit longer, but the melodic part after that is great, as is the solo. Bass is good as well. The repetition of the outro worked really well. Nice work! 9/10.

C4C? Deathcore one in my sig if possible? :)