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-   -   Untitled Melodic Song - Djenty (GP5/4/MIDI) (C4C) (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1408814)

DiminishedFifth 02-04-2011 01:27 PM

Untitled Melodic Song - Djenty (GP5/4/MIDI) (C4C)
 
2 Attachment(s)
So I've got a new song. It just kinda happened. then it turned into a test to see if I could make a nice melody out of it a la Chimp Spanner style. THEN it turned into what basically Govan does. Solo, nice melody, break, solo, etc.

HEADPHONES IF POSSIBLE. NO RSE

Onwards!

EDIT: The song is complete and I have given it the title "Taste the Dawn". It WILL be replacing "Pleasant Memories Redefined"/"Concealing Angelic Delights" on my EP. I just like it. A lot more.

EDIT2: Added a Version 2 with updated drums towards the end of the song. It might go through a couple more little revisions, so i might not post those.

ASJerrell 02-04-2011 01:50 PM

Dudeee....
This was epic. Not your average scale, times and shtuffs, which always makes me think either 'this sucks' or 'this is awesome'. It didn't seem forced, fake, or repetitive, so I'm going with the latter.

The drums were my favorite part I think. Extremely original. If I saw a cover of this song, I might have to sacrificially offer my first born. And the lead was awesome, both clean and distorted. Totally sat back in the mix and let you hang around in the ambience, but wasn't boring or redundant.

The only comment I have is that I feel like it goes somewhere, but not somewhere mind blowing. Definitely interesting, definitely learning how to play it and definitely writing in 11/8 soon. Lol
But not jaw dropping. I could make suggestions, but you seem to have making me surprised in the bag. So there's my critiques. All 'le francais' and what not...

benonbass1 02-04-2011 02:02 PM

Critting as I listen.

I like the guitar in the intro, although I do feel the drums are waaaay too overactive.
The way all the melodies layer is really nice, it works so beautifully.

I'm not too keen at the chugging at bar 33, but it does work well into the break at bar 41.

The verse is brilliant. The lead melody is very Govan, really sweet work there. The backing riff is sweet too.

The rhythm used in the bridge is really sweet, sounds really classic prog metal to me.

The solo is hard to grasp in this format, I'm sure it would sound a lot better recorded. The bridge builds up really nicely, and when the lead comes back it's just too awesome.

Amazing rhythm and melodies. Sorry I can't offer any actual advice on it, but tbh, seeing how awesome your work is, you won't need it :)

EDIT: For C4C, anything in my sig would be much appreciated :cheers:

slayerfrk 02-04-2011 02:43 PM

the intro reminded me of zelda

Seb1uk 02-04-2011 04:13 PM

I dunno if you ever played Zelda but I'm pretty sure the first two bars of harmonics are exactly the same as the Saria theme from Zelda. Used in a completely different context but it was just kinda funny hearing that.

The song builds up really well, the drums did a great job and same with the bass. I enjoyed the rhythm too. The different time signatures worked really well.

The first verse was my favourite section, all the different tracks were used really well. The chords were nice, and I especially liked the bass. But I didn't really feel much for the second solo, it was kinda boring actually. I didn't like bars 131-132 specifically too, but the two bars after that were nice.

It's a really interesting piece so far, I would like it if you didn't stray too far from the feel and tone of the song so far if you continue this. Maybe do a bit of work on the second solo too as well. But otherwise, I enjoyed it. Nice one

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1399887

AngrySockMonkey 02-06-2011 11:36 PM

This is spectacular. I came back to this site remembering I hadn't been in a long time, and everything I've clicked was garbage, except for this. Amazing. The atmosphere is beautiful.

Mean Mr Mustard 02-06-2011 11:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngrySockMonkey
This is spectacular. I came back to this site remembering I hadn't been in a long time, and everything I've clicked was garbage, except for this. Amazing. The atmosphere is beautiful.

Yeah, basically this. Ill try to expand on it tomorrow when I have some time.

guitar_jew 02-07-2011 01:42 AM

"THEN it turned into what basically Govan does. Solo, nice melody, break, solo, etc."

The melody DEFINITELY sounds like something GG would've done, which isn't bad at all. I love how elaborate all your pieces are; this is no exception. No complaints harmonically save for the landing in bar 134 on the C#, which to me sounds really inappropriate with regards to the context of the rest of the solo. Aesthetically, this is really pleasing in that it sounds totally unique with the juxtaposition of metal rhythm guitars playing odd jazz-rhythms under fusion-esque melodies. The fade-ins in the first solo, with the MIDI sound, sound somewhat like a violin, and personally, it didn't really do it for me. Maybe on a recording that'll be different.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1408343

Also a largely unfinished work in progress.

whalepudding 02-07-2011 03:12 AM

I love that main melody. It was a bit hard to get my head around at first, but by the time it came back it'd really grown on me. I've loved all your stuff, but my favourite has always been Defining a Heavenly Body because of those two massively strong main melodies that keep coming back in different forms, this seems likely to rival it.

Also, when it came back at 113, the countermelody behind it made it sound really amazing. Loved that.

I planned on following that up with a proper crit, but I don't really have much to criticise. The intro sounded great, the bridge was really subtly beautiful, the whole thing had the same haunting feeling of awe running through it as most of your music. I could continue, but it would just be a paragraph full of different positive adjectives.

I'm sure you have your own ideas of where you want to take this, but if I was going to give any advice I'd say that the main melody was the highlight for me and I'd suggest focusing on variations of that.

lukephillips000 02-07-2011 09:32 PM

Just, incredible, that is all.

DiminishedFifth 02-08-2011 08:32 PM

Thank you for the kind words, everyone :) They mean a lot!

I have finished the song (updated the OP and put it there) and it's titled "Taste the Dawn". I, personally, love this song, so I hope everyone else enjoys what I've done with it!

As far as crits go, I'll get back to them as soon as possible. Wrestling season just ended, so I'm gonna have a lot more time now.

And yes, I know the similarity to Zelda :haha:

Seb1uk 02-09-2011 09:51 PM

Hey do you think you could give a crit on the song in the thread that you posted in by accident then? Ill definitely have a listen to this again tomorrow, I just don't have the time right now.

DiminishedFifth 02-09-2011 09:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seb1uk
Hey do you think you could give a crit on the song in the thread that you posted in by accident then? Ill definitely have a listen to this again tomorrow, I just don't have the time right now.

Yeah, I'll get that done.

shreder666 02-10-2011 07:52 AM

Wow, I told you in my thread that I'll crit later but, this is so good that I will atleast say this and edit this post tonight to add more. I totally get what you guys mean that my song felt ''uninspired'' cause, I definitely feel the inspiration in this song.

The rythm is very energetic wich imo fits perfectly in the mood after that nice harmonic intro (lost woods anyone? haha).

The lead is also very nice, in fact I love it. The style kind of reminds me of how steve vai writes his melodies.

I'll listen to the rest later tonight and edit my post! :)

guitar_jew 02-12-2011 06:45 PM

I wish I had anything to add, but I don't, as far as criticisms go. It's definitely a finished work. The key change on the main theme at the end was absolutely beautiful.

I'd have said similar things about your other works by now, but I don't like to post long ass-kissing (I guess it's not really ass-kissing if it's sincere, but that's beside the point) kinds of posts, because I feel like I really don't contribute anything when I write those.

~Flounder~ 02-14-2011 04:51 AM

Just listened for the first time:

Like people have said, the first harmonies that come in ARE the same intervals as Saria's Song from LoZ:OOT! I doubt you did that purposefully but it instantly got me into the song because I recognized it. I heard a lot of other influences in there, some I could put my fingers on better than others. I know that you have been one of the major forum composers for awhile, and remember seeing some impressive compositions in the past from you. I bring this up because I thought I sensed some other UG influences in the song...particularly of zakatak9389. He posted a song called "anubis" years ago (which was amazing) and I got some definite anubis vibes while listening to your song. Another was a cool jazzy type song which all I remember was written by a user named JR or something from portugal and the song was written "revolving around the key of d minor" It featured some interesting rhodes piano usage and solos which I was reminded of while listening to your song.



ANYWAY, crit as I listen:

-Intro (1-20) is cool, but sounds hollow. In a real version of the song I would add in background noise, pads, trippy sounds, etc. maybe even sound clips of people talking or something.
-Interesting keyboard part starting in measure 18. Sounds cool, although it would be really hard to actually play that on a keyboard :)
-Guitars have a cool, subtle introduction. It's really great when the bass and lead come in because the rhythm guitars play a similar riff and it really starts coming together.
-Verse I/Main Melody. THIS is where I was picking up on another UG composition...very soothing melody. Bass and drums are great, rhythm guitar is kinda random haha. Sweet Delay effect, and melody is simple but awesome
-Bridge. this is where I heard anubis/zakatak style influences. Not that its a bad thing...I really like this part. The chord changes are unexpected and melancholy.
-Stop! EXCELLENT chord change in 101...make my skin tingle

I wasn't really too fond of the part between that and the key change section. It didn't really hold my attention and I thought was kind of dragging the song along ("plodding" was the word that popped into my head). I also thought of a joe satriani/steve vai-type guitar solo time, maybe that's what you are going for?

I thought the transition between 156 and 157 (key change was poor). The keyboard part was kind of cool, but undeveloped and ended abruptly. I relistened and maybe it would sound better if you had the keyboard be the transition into the next section? I.e. no break in the key track and slowly add in rhythms and notes until it is playing the guitar track harmony. Then you could bring the rest of the instruments in slowly. Also I would have liked a few measures of just the melody/harmony playing (i.e. no drums, bass, rhythm, etc). Its a really unique sounding section, and that would add to the strangeness for a listener. Also, it would stretch some musical "tension" carried over from the last section until the drums and bass come in to provide a point of reference for the listener. Hope that makes some sense :)

I thought the choir/string patch that accompanied m165-174 was perfect. Again great use of chords and bringing out exotic sounds.

From that point on, I thought the song kind of "lumped together". Not in a negative sense, but I didn't see any point in dividing it up into sections. It seems like one final progressive movement, and like the section titles say it is more like layers than separate sections. I also liked how the original melody/countermelody made it back into the final, full layered ending. There was definitely a lot going on at the end- almost too much to process at once. However they all worked well together, and there wasn't really any problems with all the different melodies and rhythms playing at once.

Overall, the song is alot to take in at once, and I can tell you put lots of time into it. I'm not sure what your plan is for lyrics in the song, but I would keep it as an instrumental so the listener can really focus on whats going on with each instrument and within the song. I wouldn't call it "catchy" or "riffy", but it seems like more of a nuanced work of art (the main guitar melody and choir/string chord progressions really stick out in my mind). If you ever made a real instrument recording of the song I think the proggy, experimental feel of the song sets it up perfectly for adding in lots of background noises, instruments, etc. I don't think there's anything in there that I would change, per se, but if you ever wanted it played live the intro keyboard part would be next to impossible for 1 person on a keyboard to do :)

I'm taking points off because none of the melodies stuck in my head, and it was definitely more experimental and not something I would put on a workout or driving mix. But if I got tired of regular, predictable music (which happens alot lol) and wanted something fresh and unique, I would definitely queue this. I also would love to listen to the song on various drugs like weed or LSD....I think it would be an amazing experience. so yeah, 8/10


c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1412145

defiance64 02-14-2011 12:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by slayerfrk
the intro reminded me of zelda

Dude, OMFG, I was thinking the same exact thing. lol. This is like the epic metal version of it. I think it's amazing. Everything is good. I'd go more in depth but I'm at school. No return crits needed. This is a masterpiece. ;)

Mean Mr Mustard 02-17-2011 11:20 PM

Hey Diminished Fifth, so I know that Im really late, but I can find like nothing wrong with your song haha (not like theres supposed to be). The only real complaint youll hear from me it that the guitar solo at bar 129 could possibly be spiced up. Its got some golden parts in it (137-142), but I dont really like the triplets in bar 131 and the one in bar 132, I think its because they played the same pattern. Also, I think there could have been a better end to the solo, it felt like a letdown when it ended to be honest, maybe have just one more phrase/melody/run/lick/whatever.

Also, another thing, you may disagree completely, but I dont like the half step/chromatic (?) shift from bar 162 to 163 and then to bar 164. This is just my opinion though, Ive never really been a fan of those.

Next, New Melodia sounds kinda like a step in the wrong direction from the previous section, getting rid of that riff was okay, but I think a lead line could have been used overtop to make it a little more interesting, especially because that tapped clean guitar part continues into the next section as well.

And I just want to say that that main melody was amazing, it ties for the one in Defining A Heavily Body haha although its hard to beat that one...

So overall, yeah Id hate to waste your time and go on a section by section review that just reads like "Oh, this section was nice. Then the next section was sweet!"...and so on. So I tried to be a little helpful, hopefully youll still listen to input on this song.

Now I know youre busy and all that, but I'd love to know what you think about any of the songs in my sig, so if you ever have time, Id love to hear from you.

Erra93 05-20-2013 09:29 AM

I'm necroing this thread to ask if you have recorded this song. Have you?

DiminishedFifth 06-03-2013 07:52 PM

Not yet. It's going.on my debut album, though! Probably gonna be one of the final songs I record. Its also gonna be awhile since im.having some.major computer issues at the moment :/


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