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UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/index.php)

- Songwriting & Lyrics (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)

- - Dust To Dust (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1563945)

All alone
That's my zone
Could have cared
You're not there

I think about it
For atleast an hour
I thought about it
In the shower

With or
With out
With out you
Time after time - What can we do?

And I want it
On it so much
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust

Quote:

Originally Posted by treborillusion

All alone
That's my zone
Could have cared
You're not there I like this first stanza

I think about it
For atleast an hour
I thought about it
In the shower To me 'hour' and 'shower' seems a bit of a poor/predictable rhyme.

With or
With out
With out you
Time after time - What can we do? Again I like this stanza

And I want it
On it so much I'm not srure what this line is meant to mean
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust I like these two lines as an ending

Check out some of my work if you have a chance! :D
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1560053
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1561729

So are all of your pieces just random, context-less lines connected by vague references to pop songs/possibly other famous and cliche lines? ("With or without you", "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust") Because if that's the truth, than you could spit these out a dime a dozen into a blog that will eventually become an Urban Outfitter's coffee table book and people will think it's great.

But I just think it's dumb. As I do most things that end up in the coffee table book section at Urban Outfitters.

- Pete