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-   -   Rate my METAL lyrics please. (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1564550)

HalfCock2112 09-24-2012 01:29 AM

Rate my METAL lyrics please.
 
This is a badass song I wrote about never giving up and fighting for what you believe in. It's pretty much "Eye of the Tiger" on crack. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Fightbound

Verse 1:
Day by day I search for the answer
Beyond the realm of space and time
Seeking to find my place
When the night comes and the horrors awake
And the shadows take the place
I shall become one

Chorus:
Time and time again
I seek an ending that will bring me peace
But they're all pending

Verse 2:
Under the darkness I wander
Only to find myself beyond help
Through the mist I carry on

Bridge 1:
The sun rises and the clock strikes
And day by day I fight on
Holding my own and never backing down
The night has come and I shall ride for glory and for my pride
And I shall never back down for a fight

Bridge 2:
For we are fight bound
We shall never look around
Fight on and fight till the very end
Never give up and never surrender
Stay on the path and fight on

Bridge 3:
Show no weakness
And conquer death
Tonight is your night to fight
For we are fight bound
And we can never be brought down
Through the mist we carry on

Verse 3:
Day by day I search for the answer
Beyond the realm of space and time
Seeking to find my place
When the night comes and the horrors awake
And the shadows take the place
I shall become one

Chorus:
Time and time again
I seek an ending that will bring me peace
But they're all pending

tman267 09-24-2012 04:18 PM

First, I read this, especially with the comparison to Eye of the Tiger, with a sort of 80's hair metal feel to it.

It wasn't all bad, but it felt really cliche. Most of it (become one/space and time/through the mist/conquer death/etc.) has all been said before. That doesn't necessarily mean you can't use it, but there is very little originality to it. That said, the chorus flows well, but I think it would flow better if you rearranged it, i.e.
"Time and time agian I seek an ending

One that brings me peace but they're all pending"


Looking at your three "Bridges" compared to the three "Verses," they don't really make sense structure wise (this is in terms of lyrics, perhaps it makes more sense music wise). What I mean is that two of three verses are the same, and it would make more sense to call them the pre-chorus. Then you could call the three bridges the verses and call the second verse the bridge. That really doesn't matter, though, it's just a semantics thing.

In conclusion, it's not horrible, but it could use work.


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