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-   -   Machine Gun Love v2 C4C (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1567054)

JayCartay 10-09-2012 05:32 PM

Machine Gun Love v2 C4C
 
OK I've done a bit of work on this and changed some things around a bit.

Let me know what you think. I know I'll never be the world's greatest singer, I just hope for adequate :haha:

http://soundcloud.com/jay-carter-15/machine-gun-love-1

Cheers all!

Serrana 10-09-2012 06:35 PM

As I'm listening...

The intro is ok. The guitar melody is a little stop and go, feels awkward. It feels more complete when the second guitar bit comes in. I would maybe recommend having both parts present at the opening of the song, and bring the rhythm guitar in where the 2nd lead comes in. Vocals aren't bad but nothing special, but I definitely understand how difficult it is to get them to a place where your happy with. Keep working on it and it will come. The instrumental bridge part is cool, maybe just do it twice though. Four times through is a bit much. Chorus to post-chorus transition is nice. Once again though I wouldn't put the one melody by itself. Maybe put a mini solo on the second instrumental bridge to build up energy for the chorus. The end kinda drags on. I would work mostly on trying to consolidate the song and simplify it. Theres a lot of extra weight to it that is bringing the song down on the whole. There are good ideas here, they just need to be more focused is all. I also feel like it would benefit from a better drum track, but once again, I understand how difficult it is to do everything yourself.

Heres my link. http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1567002

not really a crit thread, but im trying to get some traffic on it so my main question can be asked. Your thoughts would be appreciated anyways

awesomo41894 10-09-2012 10:00 PM

I listened to the whole song, for whatever reason, it reminded me of green day, the singing was very similar to billie joe armstrongs. The guitar itself was ok, the drum track sounded good, I think with a little more work, this could be a really cool song!

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1566946

JayCartay 10-10-2012 03:07 AM

Thank you. I commented on your thread :)

I am really tempted to record the verse vocals again..... I am not happy with them, they are eating away at me! I am stuck between singing all of the verse the same way it starts, rather than changing pitch, or just trying to do it a bit less peaky if I do keep the pitch change. I kinda want to move on and record something new now though!


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