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-   -   seducing them ladies (http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1571334)

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:20 AM

seducing them ladies
 
So, inspired by the whole virginity thread, how do you seduce girls? aka how do you get them to have sex with you?
I have only had sex in half serious (not really) relationships, like after seeing a girl a couple times, i wouldn't call it like dating or something but yeah.
I'd like to know how the pit monkeys get some monkey vagina, any tips or experiences?

FireFromTheVoid 11-04-2012 02:21 AM

I give them bananas, they give me monkey business.
Its a good system.

Waterboy799 11-04-2012 02:22 AM

money seems to work

Pagan_Poetry 11-04-2012 02:23 AM

Grow a beard.

Shave the part on your neck.

Keep it well kept.

Boom. You'll be mopping the wet from their legs with your beard in seconds.

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagan_Poetry
Grow a beard.

Shave the part on your neck.

Keep it well kept.

Boom. You'll be mopping the wet from their legs with your beard in seconds.


i'm 18 but apparently unable to grow a decent bear, am i cursed?

FireFromTheVoid 11-04-2012 02:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
i'm 18 but apparently unable to grow a decent bear, am i cursed?

I can`t either, its cool bro.

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFromTheVoid
I can`t either, its cool bro.

:hug:

Pagan_Poetry 11-04-2012 02:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
i'm 18 but apparently unable to grow a decent bear, am i cursed?


Growing bears are easy. Go to a berry tree, take one of them falling berries, and plant them under your apple tree. Chances are the extra A will make a bear come out of your ground and kill everyone.



If you meant beard, yeah, you don't have a good chance. Sorry.

The Madcap 11-04-2012 02:28 AM

Take them to my place. Sit close with them on the couch. Just the smallest amounts of physical contact and body warmth can escalate things quickly. Also, if you can give a good massage, that will help tremendously.

lolmnt 11-04-2012 02:29 AM

My family used to own a bearyard in wine country.

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagan_Poetry
Growing bears are easy. Go to a berry tree, take one of them falling berries, and plant them under your apple tree. Chances are the extra A will make a bear come out of your ground and kill everyone.



If you meant beard, yeah, you don't have a good chance. Sorry.

No, I actually meant bear, that's great advice, thank you :)

StewieSwan 11-04-2012 02:30 AM

Exploit their emotional attraction towards you.

Acϵ♠ 11-04-2012 02:30 AM

How i get some monkey vagina...? I either go to the zoo or i go to atlanta

Pagan_Poetry 11-04-2012 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
No, I actually meant bear, that's great advice, thank you :)


Oh good! I'm so glad. I thought my studies to get my bear degree were pointless.

Don't forget:

If you want a black bear-black berry
If you want a grizzly bear-strawberry
If you want a polar bear-frozen berry of any sort
If you want a grizzly black bear-Chuck Berry.

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Madcap
Take them to my place. Sit close with them on the couch. Just the smallest amounts of physical contact and body warmth can escalate things quickly. Also, if you can give a good massage, that will help tremendously.

and how do you even get to the point of giving a massage?

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagan_Poetry
Oh good! I'm so glad. I thought my studies to get my bear degree were pointless.

Don't forget:

If you want a black bear-black berry
If you want a grizzly bear-strawberry
If you want a polar bear-frozen berry of any sort
If you want a grizzly black bear-Chuck Berry.

~
what if i want a gay bear?

FireFromTheVoid 11-04-2012 02:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
~
what if i want a gay bear?

Go to a gay bar.

Acϵ♠ 11-04-2012 02:35 AM

What if i want a jewish bear?

meatjesus 11-04-2012 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFromTheVoid
Go to a gay bar.


ok :shrug:

Pagan_Poetry 11-04-2012 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by meatjesus
~
what if i want a gay bear?


Use KY Berry


Quote:
Originally Posted by Acϵ♠
What if i want a jewish bear?



Gold berry


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