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Search: Posts Made By: Jammydude44
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-09-2014, 12:14 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 359
Posted By Jammydude44
Just to note, that's just half a sentence. I...

Just to note, that's just half a sentence. I wouldn't expect it to make any sense, it's grammatically improbable. Thanks for your time :)

Cheers HippieBoy. Though I disagree with your point about...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-08-2014, 04:52 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 298
Posted By Jammydude44
This read very within itself. It's like you put a...

This read very within itself. It's like you put a catalytic convertor on your pen. Or, like, a better metaphor.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-08-2014, 04:49 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 359
Posted By Jammydude44
Nah I have the voice of a dying squirrel and the...

Nah I have the voice of a dying squirrel and the music skills of a deaf amputee.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-07-2014, 07:19 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 359
Posted By Jammydude44
Out of View

the rigmarole stopped hoarding
the daily suspense
of an underwater current
of the silent bent
the atmosphere withholding
an oxygenated air
despite the generosity of firelighters
we couldnít get past...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-19-2014, 06:37 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 238
Posted By Jammydude44
Chapstick

he haunts you like he was walking
along your tongue for every word
each syllable drops with his hands propped
up your back just to be heard

his deft palette is your natural accent
where his lilt...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-13-2014, 07:06 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 221
Posted By Jammydude44
Nothing But Empty

the promises of yesterday became the dodgy rhymes of now
the witness to your murmurs is still passed out
the silhouette at the end of the room turns around and smiles
cigarette smoke dances out of...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-25-2014, 03:59 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 335
Posted By Jammydude44
Harder to Find

nb - writing some pop songs for a [female] friend.

i'm so fed up of being ****ed
and ****ed off with being fed
all your lies and all your bullshit
when you wake up in my bed
it's not okay for you to...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-24-2014, 10:56 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 263
Posted By Jammydude44
Cheers. I owe you a bunch so keep nagging...

Cheers. I owe you a bunch so keep nagging me.

I've been bored with writing so as a challenge I'm trying to write some lyrics for a friend of mine, not that she'll ever get round to recording. Very...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-23-2014, 05:23 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 263
Posted By Jammydude44
Stuck in a Book

is that the sun creeping around the curtain?
if it is that's probably all I know for certain
I remember your face 'cos it's in front of my eyes
beyond that it's blank, like I've been hypnotised

is...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-16-2014, 09:26 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 189
Posted By Jammydude44
On the Nose

apart from you Iím dexterous
with my wit dipped in silver nitrate
my tongue delivers properly
what it is I want to say

a part of me gets twisted when
youíre fringe slips between my words
and the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-09-2014, 02:22 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 240
Posted By Jammydude44
Like so Much

daredevil
it was written on her forehead to be careful
of her missteps
and cadence
so softly she'd suggest the expense
of leaving soon

she would delight in the dancing of your urges
and set the tip...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-07-2014, 11:53 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 413
Posted By Jammydude44
Haha, cheers. You lot love a good metre. I knew...

Haha, cheers. You lot love a good metre. I knew this was the snappiest thing I'd written in about five years.

I'm pretty sure there's no exact style, I've been writing this way since the join date...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-28-2014, 06:40 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 413
Posted By Jammydude44
WotW: It's Your Fault For Coming Over

behold the eyes, they're smitten behind
the smouldering stare
the stare she's got there
until the tide takes over her tongue
she's folding her smile
scolding her thumbs

perturbed, her lips bow...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-28-2014, 07:19 AM
Replies: 1,582
Views: 86,834
Posted By Jammydude44
More focus on offering constructive criticism....

More focus on offering constructive criticism. The "full crit". Was once a bar where we solved each other's problems, now it's a bar to catch up and buy each other drinks.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-25-2014, 06:26 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 228
Posted By Jammydude44
"protruding illicitly" was delicious....

"protruding illicitly" was delicious. As were a few other images.

I think you danced around your point a little much even. I think it might just be the breaking form. Perhaps this one needs to...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-25-2014, 06:19 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 182
Posted By Jammydude44
Spins and Flings

stun shiver at her stand askew
slide in the very next seat
I can see the appeal of the mood
taken in like a tropical beat

pull up in a leather jacket
sleek shiver shimmer like moon
slick tongue...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-23-2014, 12:52 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 631
Posted By Jammydude44
I don't post very often so I tend to digress a...

I don't post very often so I tend to digress a little when I do. I also tend to poke the bear in my critiques because otherwise no-one gets anywhere. Seems like you got both those barrels from me...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-20-2014, 06:13 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 201
Posted By Jammydude44
Ledges

another aperture opportunity
derided by the rest
her eyes set to impunity
her hands upon her chest
she twists and turns and feverishly
marks her favourite pose
she knew, how could she not
her soul...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-10-2014, 01:09 PM
Replies: 2,085
Views: 67,873
Posted By Jammydude44
"(code) "(/code)" in square...

"(code) "(/code)" in square brackets not round.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-27-2014, 04:29 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 631
Posted By Jammydude44
Obviously this is the product from the...

Obviously this is the product from the competition forum but that shouldn't factor into my judgement as I know us at S&L pride ourselves on the tortured artist character so I can imagine plenty of...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-27-2014, 04:03 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 241
Posted By Jammydude44
So Top Bloke

heís as cold as ice gets
heís the face you wish you could forget

you can hear him coming in architecture
the building starts to shake
you know itís a horrible lecture
to stay would be mistake

heís...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-23-2014, 01:47 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 208
Posted By Jammydude44
Balked

you're getting in my hair
you're getting in my features
I'm guessing you'd be accustomed to a reaction

you're making the front page
a splash of something fancy
you're getting on my skin like...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-23-2014, 01:31 PM
Replies: 1,582
Views: 86,834
Posted By Jammydude44
Swoosh.

Swoosh.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-10-2014, 02:00 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 255
Posted By Jammydude44
After the Cabaret

she was yesterday incognito
and bat her lashes for the laughs
a fugitive but never frightened
to admit she stole your heart

she was the aforementioned disguised
maverick that wore gloves and...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-27-2014, 04:16 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 205
Posted By Jammydude44
Rusty Weather

my baby's got the colour of a silver tongue
and a ready-to-go sense of self esteem
she has that chap stick that tastes of bubblegum
but the dead lips of where she's been

I think of all the cold...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-23-2014, 06:09 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 244
Posted By Jammydude44
Between The Exit and the Taxi Rank

you're an apache chopper
with a gattling gun
out of time destruction
scant-clad fun

you're an irreversible drive train
on the wandering drift
hot and bothered arriving
at the top of the list
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-20-2014, 06:14 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 196
Posted By Jammydude44
Under Lights You Look Alright

the everywhere burns
the anytime turns
what you say to me
into gibberish

the musically impaired
combine the stand and stare
but you escher shapes
into other shapes
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-18-2014, 11:19 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 153
Posted By Jammydude44
Head to Toe

the angels' make out in the back of your mind
rolling over until the planets align
it's all rather thorough and HD
my sense is tuned to yours to a degree

you're so danger
you're so thrill
you're so...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-24-2013, 07:33 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 297
Posted By Jammydude44
She Gave me a Pen

she went head-down shuffling into the night
red boots shifting snow around
her footprints matched her eyes

faffling and fidgeting a bunch
never quite got closer than an accidental touch
of elbows as...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-21-2013, 04:39 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 611
Posted By Jammydude44
I like to keep everyone on their toes.

I like to keep everyone on their toes.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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