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Search: Posts Made By: Ganoosh
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-27-2015, 03:11 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 103
Posted By Ganoosh
every main Spring, christborn & dumb

Little lion
born on a March Sunday
Bug-eyed, taking on water
feelers waving numbly.
Rose-fisted
Snow in the woods
hateful cold between the trees

are like
knobby toes sucking on earth
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-24-2015, 09:43 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 288
Posted By Ganoosh
Congrats on wotw!! :cheers:

Congrats on wotw!!

:cheers:
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 09:38 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 303
Posted By Ganoosh
This is a great start! Keep it up.

This is a great start! Keep it up.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 09:25 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 310
Posted By Ganoosh
Very nice, reminds me a little bit of Imagism.

Very nice, reminds me a little bit of Imagism.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 09:20 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 372
Posted By Ganoosh
You know, I agree about the difference between...

You know, I agree about the difference between the first and last parts. I felt like the first 5 lines of the poem would be a killer ending. It would also be extremely ironic because it's reminiscent...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 09:13 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 101
Posted By Ganoosh
Hey! I really enjoyed reading your piece here. I...

Hey! I really enjoyed reading your piece here. I love how it progressed from the surface in the first stanza, to the eyes drowning underneath the surface in the last. That's a really thoughtful way...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 09:08 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 101
Posted By Ganoosh
I'd like to read more about the actual violence....

I'd like to read more about the actual violence. Whose balls get ripped off and eaten? Whose face is melted off with a heat gun? Where are the baseball bats? You say I'm your subordinate but you're...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 09:01 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 333
Posted By Ganoosh
Just to comment further on the last line, I...

Just to comment further on the last line, I actually think it's really thematically consistent. Women breaking free from ancestors, tribal drums and tribalism honoring ancestors, everything falling...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 08:57 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 288
Posted By Ganoosh
\ :cheers:

\

:cheers:
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2015, 08:41 PM
Replies: 2,172
Views: 74,983
Posted By Ganoosh
It's springtime!

It's springtime!
Forum: Other 03-11-2015, 10:24 PM
Replies: 13,498
Sticky: Good rap?
Views: 539,974
Posted By Ganoosh
I always thought Illmatic was the ultimate...

I always thought Illmatic was the ultimate example of hip hop perfection until I heard The Infamous, by Mobb Deep.

It's the best rap album ever recorded.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 12:05 PM
Replies: 2,172
Views: 74,983
Posted By Ganoosh
This is all true. What's important is that the...

This is all true. What's important is that the people who do come here regularly continue to enjoy the forum and want to return to share their work and read. I think that's why the conversation about...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:57 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 206
Posted By Ganoosh
Cheap notebooks are a good idea. Rhyming...

Cheap notebooks are a good idea.

Rhyming dictionary is an okay idea, but don't waste your money when it's free online. It's 2015 now, we are firmly in the 21st century.
http://rhymezone.com/
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:43 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 145
Posted By Ganoosh
What I think is really interesting is the...

What I think is really interesting is the language you used here that makes it obvious that you're kind of uncomfortable talking about spiritual things. Look how many times you use the word "Maybe",...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:33 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 163
Posted By Ganoosh
Hey! This was a good read and an interesting new...

Hey! This was a good read and an interesting new version of the kind of classic modern-western outlaw story. The only problem I could point out to you is that some of your imagery is a little bit...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:25 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 224
Posted By Ganoosh
Everything was mostly spelling mistakes, don't...

Everything was mostly spelling mistakes, don't worry about your English! Mind if I ask what your first language is?

Good job here! I especially like how you switch things up throughout the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:18 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 272
Posted By Ganoosh
:cheers: Good work. :)

:cheers: Good work. :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:07 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 141
Posted By Ganoosh
thank you 11:07

Killing Buddhas on the corner
I stack them up by the chainlink fence
One, two, three
Every time I see one coming down the sidewalk
I puncture his stupid eyes with my tongue like a tentstake

Iím...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 11:05 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 206
Posted By Ganoosh
That's a very hard question to answer, but also a...

That's a very hard question to answer, but also a very good one.

How are you feeling? How were you feeling yesterday? How do you think you'll feel tomorrow? What's happening? What's happening next...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 10:56 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 138
Posted By Ganoosh
I like this. It's really honest and straight...

I like this. It's really honest and straight forward. Sometimes when we need to get things out it's best to just do it like this, being extremely matter-of-fact. I can definitely tell there's some...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-11-2015, 10:44 AM
Replies: 2,172
Views: 74,983
Posted By Ganoosh
:cheers: Much love, man!

:cheers:

Much love, man!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-05-2015, 02:40 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 385
Posted By Ganoosh
Congratulations! This was a good choice for wotw

Congratulations! This was a good choice for wotw
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-05-2015, 02:39 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 300
Posted By Ganoosh
Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it....

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. The title was intentional, I was loaned a book of Jack kerouacs haiku and he used to call them pomes for whatever reason, so it was just my little...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-02-2015, 11:43 PM
Replies: 2,172
Views: 74,983
Posted By Ganoosh
Go for a walk. Preferably in a place with lots of...

Go for a walk. Preferably in a place with lots of trees and fresh air. And preferably with a dog, even if you have to borrow one from somebody else. If no dogs, a calm human can also work.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-01-2015, 04:02 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 300
Posted By Ganoosh
here is one of my pomes

my jaw is wracked with mindlessness.
a blank ocean lurches beneath my skull.
I chew on teeth and problems

anxiety
hangs from my temples.
I push nails through shaking fingers

sounds are far...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-28-2015, 01:21 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 333
Posted By Ganoosh
*the tribal drums - they are falling apart. Now...

*the tribal drums - they are
falling apart. Now dance*

What I like here is how you give so much color to the drums falling apart by ending the sentence and putting the imperative "now dance" in the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-28-2015, 01:13 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 204
Posted By Ganoosh
I love the content, demanding an encore of an...

I love the content, demanding an encore of an irreversible suicide is really biting. I just watched Birdman last night and this is reminiscent of something Michael Keaton's character would maybe...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-28-2015, 01:07 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 385
Posted By Ganoosh
*our world had a short time, heaven knows it's...

*our world had a short time, heaven knows
it's littered and smells of smoke*

I love the way you end the first stanza, in terms of the meter you use. You have a longer line that ends with a comma and...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-28-2015, 01:03 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 169
Posted By Ganoosh
Yeah that's exactly what I think is so awesome...

Yeah that's exactly what I think is so awesome about writing and making things. You get to make what you would like to see made, and sometimes you find people who are ready to see the same things but...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-26-2015, 10:01 PM
Replies: 1,591
Views: 91,260
Posted By Ganoosh
This is good. What made this place stale, I...

This is good.

What made this place stale, I think, is that critique got transformed into some kind of business transaction instead of just a discussion of lyrics and poetry. I get that the purpose...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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