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Search: Posts Made By: SubwayToVenus
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-14-2014, 02:28 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 199
Posted By SubwayToVenus
beautiful women are invisible

Going through an epic trough of writer's block right now, so kinda just had to get something on paper. Hopefully these will get better.

beautiful women are invisible

i'm not a teenager in love, i'm...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-22-2014, 11:54 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 466
Posted By SubwayToVenus
this very well might be the poem i've been trying...

this very well might be the poem i've been trying and failing to write ever since i started writing. so much of this rang true for me it was scary.

this was so visceral and even in the depths of...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-10-2014, 09:03 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 502
Posted By SubwayToVenus
gorgeous

gorgeous
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-26-2013, 12:38 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 303
Posted By SubwayToVenus
thanks for the feed, guys. i don't know what it...

thanks for the feed, guys. i don't know what it is, but i can't seem to find the same emotional thrust behind anything i write unless it's written in 10/15 minutes or less. it seems like the more i...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-24-2013, 06:15 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 269
Posted By SubwayToVenus
Haunting and beautiful

Haunting and beautiful
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-24-2013, 04:22 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 361
Posted By SubwayToVenus
I would try to be cognizant of when you lead the...

I would try to be cognizant of when you lead the reader into an image-intensive passage. In my opinion you dove into these types of passages a little early instead of building and culminating the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-24-2013, 03:26 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 361
Posted By SubwayToVenus
This could use some tightening up but I really do...

This could use some tightening up but I really do love the imagery and aesthetic feel you have going on here. The focus you show is great as well, being able to alternate between an intimate moment...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-23-2013, 05:25 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 303
Posted By SubwayToVenus
7:52 inthemorning

ots

so-called cathartic screaming, now the blood in my heart is leaking -
i gave it some thought and concluded all of my thoughts are fleeting.
watch them wisp away through the open window, and baby...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-18-2013, 01:20 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 594
Posted By SubwayToVenus
i thought this was beautiful. "the...

i thought this was beautiful. "the architecture of your name" was especially beautiful to me.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-10-2013, 12:19 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 277
Posted By SubwayToVenus
Thank you, Carmel. You are so right in each of...

Thank you, Carmel. You are so right in each of your criticisms. I've been struggling putting thoughts on paper so I hastily threw it out there without any real structure to my ideas. I was just a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-08-2013, 10:40 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 277
Posted By SubwayToVenus
nissan altima

monday mornings we showed up with utopias
burning in rosy embers within us, burning through the winters
while bouquets wilted and sirens whined for lost women.
in adolescence, i fashioned this sense...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-28-2013, 07:18 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 432
Posted By SubwayToVenus
i've always known you were brilliant at spacing,...

i've always known you were brilliant at spacing, but when i read those last three three lines in succession as i scrolled down the page, it was revelatory.

well done, saadia. that last line sticks
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-28-2013, 07:10 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 207
Posted By SubwayToVenus
the feeling was there on this one. well done

the feeling was there on this one. well done
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-23-2013, 12:16 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 362
Posted By SubwayToVenus
great, great stuff man. this had a pink...

great, great stuff man. this had a pink floyd-"the wall" vibe to it in style and content, which was cool, but for me, i also kinda read into it as an observation of the constant over-sharing our...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-23-2013, 12:09 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 322
Posted By SubwayToVenus
that second paragraph hit a real nice stride, and...

that second paragraph hit a real nice stride, and i think it was because you played the evolution-religion dichotomy much more prominently there. i appreciated the subtleties of that part as well in...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-21-2013, 05:43 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 325
Posted By SubwayToVenus
thanks man. i was torn initially as well about...

thanks man. i was torn initially as well about the 'mystique' and 'mystified' closeness, so i decided to switch it. i appreciate the kind words. good to see you around
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-18-2013, 09:18 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 325
Posted By SubwayToVenus
venus de milo

you're sweet and sympathetic like pink skies,
and though i tend to misinterpret, still i'm mystified.
you're aware of your magic it seems, no matter how careful
you are in your attempt to be discreet...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-09-2013, 04:06 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 314
Posted By SubwayToVenus
thanks everyone for the kind words. and thanks...

thanks everyone for the kind words. and thanks for the wotw, i appreciate it
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-07-2013, 11:56 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 300
Posted By SubwayToVenus
gorgeous. this felt grandiose and humble all at...

gorgeous. this felt grandiose and humble all at the same time. i read it once then threw on james blake's "overgrown" and read it again and it was perfect
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-02-2013, 02:03 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 255
Posted By SubwayToVenus
I was really feeling this up until the...

I was really feeling this up until the masturbation line. For me, personally, you had me enthralled because it felt you spilling out of your heart each word as I read it on the page. Nothing felt...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-02-2013, 01:53 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 257
Posted By SubwayToVenus
yep, i felt this

yep, i felt this
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-02-2013, 01:47 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 424
Posted By SubwayToVenus
i love that you still write. i love that you...

i love that you still write. i love that you still share what you write. please don't stop doing either
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-02-2013, 01:45 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 314
Posted By SubwayToVenus
WotW: sampha

let it all work out, let it keep your tongue discipline
let it start on slow, may your smile seep within.
honey i knew i loved you before i even met you -
those stars above you, they were meant...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-18-2013, 12:45 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 280
Posted By SubwayToVenus
malignant hope

i know what i'm on, the names of the toxins in my blood-

they pilot me wrong, up near the breakneck of gravity
where they let me go
oh so casually.

it's where i always see her as my love,
cheeks...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-30-2013, 10:14 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 317
Posted By SubwayToVenus
thanks for reading guys. this was definitely an...

thanks for reading guys. this was definitely an exercise to get words on the paper again. i totally agree with everything you said, saadia. thanks.

i'm actually living and working in chicago at the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-25-2013, 06:08 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 317
Posted By SubwayToVenus
hellhound

trying to get back into writing. here's an OTS

nothing can get in, no oxygen in my blood
and no, i don't need oxy 'cause odds are slim your drugs will **** me up

no, i don't need the dawn, not when...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-14-2013, 01:21 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 385
Posted By SubwayToVenus
thanks saadia. good to hear from you, i hope...

thanks saadia. good to hear from you, i hope you're well
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2013, 02:24 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 385
Posted By SubwayToVenus
ephemeral

you sunbathe on that rock in a one-piece bikini,
waves barely noticed, a backdrop out of focus.
only you, cast in a bronze, alone atop a towel,
atop what often feel like miles from my
older sense...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-05-2013, 08:31 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 564
Posted By SubwayToVenus
A Penchant for Escapism

plane tickets, patron, abandon everything i own;
meet me on a polish beach, the water pink and gold.
late-dusk cafe dialogues, experiment new cuisine
but end up opting for mcdonalds when i see those...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-03-2012, 12:44 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 461
Posted By SubwayToVenus
The Last Song

This might be the last post I make for the foreseeable future. I know I'll be back but I honestly don't know when. Until then, I just want to thank this community for all the love and support over...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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