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Search: Posts Made By: Petey Cook
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-25-2012, 02:48 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 812
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool I don't mean to sound like an ass, but I wish you...

I don't mean to sound like an ass, but I wish you would take things more seriously. Unless you honestly believe that people improve by telling them that their shit smells like roses.

Don't worry,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-24-2012, 02:40 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 272
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Well, according to forum rules, one song at a...

Well, according to forum rules, one song at a time. So let's only comment on the first one and we'll ignore the rest, yeah? (Meaning, delete the rest and post them one day at a time.)



I just...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-24-2012, 02:12 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 202
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Random images Will not beget emotion Audacious...

Random images
Will not beget emotion
Audacious syntax

Lacks

Compelling context.

- Pete
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-24-2012, 02:08 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 179
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Same criticism as before. Stop with the line...

Same criticism as before. Stop with the line breaks, write it out as full sentences and see if it makes sense. Then get back to me.

- Pete
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-24-2012, 02:02 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 812
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool No. You blow me. Because I'm doing my best to...

No. You blow me. Because I'm doing my best to try and give some ****ing honest criticism to some very shitty, but very trying writers. And it's pieces of shit like you, who post your pretentious...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-24-2012, 01:47 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 300
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Exercise: Set this to music: "Your lyrics...

Exercise:

Set this to music: "Your lyrics are a stumbling, outdated, emotionless and just flat out annoying set of words set to a probably very crappy tune."

When you match it up to music, I might...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-24-2012, 01:41 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 254
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Well, a context to you is not a context to me. ...

Well, a context to you is not a context to me. It has to come across. Imagery, for one. Metaphor for another. Remember the quote from Hannibal: "Too much is too much; way too much is just...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 05:06 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 249
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Forget your oh-so-clever small-line wordplay. ...

Forget your oh-so-clever small-line wordplay. Right this out, using the language of the piece, as standard sentences with standard punctuation and let me know if it makes sense. After you do that,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 05:01 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 254
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Ground-Situation: What is actually happening. ...

Ground-Situation: What is actually happening. In literature (as well as poems, as well as lyrics), the ground situation refers to the implied context (commonly referred to as "back story") of a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 04:53 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 812
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool "D00d! I'm so like, totally confused that...

"D00d! I'm so like, totally confused that no one has figured out my completely pretentious poetry that is totally not, no questions about it, a set of song lyrics, on a forum dedicated to song...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 04:42 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 351
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Alright, so this is the worst part of it all. ...

Alright, so this is the worst part of it all. You're pouring out your feelings. Obviously you have a lot to pour out because, were I to go line by line through that, I could point out just about...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 04:26 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 300
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Alright. Here's a question to get this...

Alright. Here's a question to get this discussion started. Let's assume that the horrific grammar, complete lack of rhythm, terrible flow or and negligible coherence don't matter. Let's put that...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 04:14 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 251
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool So are all of your pieces just random,...

So are all of your pieces just random, context-less lines connected by vague references to pop songs/possibly other famous and cliche lines? ("With or without you", "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust") ...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 03:57 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 455
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool The first two stanzas are really good. The...

The first two stanzas are really good. The second two parts aren't so great. It's a little like you ran out of ways to say the same thing. I also was a little thrown off by the lack of clear...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 03:52 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 290
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool ...so? - Pete

...so?

- Pete
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-23-2012, 03:50 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 293
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool The first thing that struck me about this piece...

The first thing that struck me about this piece was the rhythm and the flow. But it gets jumbled. It doesn't have a set rhythm, and it doesn't flow particularly well. Which was distracting. I...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-17-2012, 04:29 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 490
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Heheh. Ali Mac is a genius. I love his...

Heheh. Ali Mac is a genius. I love his strategy: "Hey, these other lyrics are worse than mine so you can't hate mine!"

Except that it doesn't work. Ali, your lyrics are genuinely not good. By...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-17-2012, 03:55 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 727
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool This is grammatically correct and structurally...

This is grammatically correct and structurally sound, but that makes it a concrete block that will keep rain away. What's inside isn't so interesting.

Rock On
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-17-2012, 03:28 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 686
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Explain that for me please? Rock On

Explain that for me please?

Rock On
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-13-2012, 01:24 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 342
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Lemme take the first few parts of this song and...

Lemme take the first few parts of this song and give you a few comments.



First, you have a knack for rhythm. The second stanza has a lot of really good flow and internal rhyming. And while the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-13-2012, 01:12 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 826
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool So, I used to come on here a lot, but it's been a...

So, I used to come on here a lot, but it's been a while. And I've always been contentious. So I want to ask you all a question: why do you think this is good? I'm not saying that because I think...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-13-2012, 01:00 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 568
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Let me say three things. First, this is a song...

Let me say three things. First, this is a song lyrics forum. If you wanted your piece judged only as poetry, than too bad. Also, as poetry, all my comments still apply. And I never implied that...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-11-2012, 04:03 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 686
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Some things to consider: First of all, I'm a...

Some things to consider:



First of all, I'm a little wary of how many syllables are used here. There are well over 40, and you've only written three lines. This link...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-11-2012, 03:27 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 568
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool One thing is cleared up for me: the original...

One thing is cleared up for me: the original lyrics aren't important to you. What is is you being able to talk about them. For instance:

It took you over thirty full-length lines of text to...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-11-2012, 03:05 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 279
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Glad I could help. Just think of the song as we...

Glad I could help. Just think of the song as we hear it: from start to finish. So there has to be a beginning middle and end, because we can't really jump between parts. So it can start bad...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-11-2012, 03:01 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 479
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Well, in that case, I guess I'll do the rest of...

Well, in that case, I guess I'll do the rest of your song the same respect and not think a lot about it.

Rock On
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-10-2012, 05:23 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 442
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool There's a lot of fun things you can do with...

There's a lot of fun things you can do with German/English. Rammstein taught me that back in high school. So don't let language limit you.

Rock On
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-10-2012, 05:18 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 179
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool Why does it have to go anywhere? A few tweaks...

Why does it have to go anywhere? A few tweaks and this is a pretty decent piece as is.

Rock On
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-10-2012, 04:45 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 349
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool To be honest, I'd say it wasn't enjoyable. Due...

To be honest, I'd say it wasn't enjoyable. Due to the not saying anything part.

Rock On
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-10-2012, 04:40 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 479
Posted By Petey Cook
Cool What's a "ghost dunghill"? Is it like,...

What's a "ghost dunghill"? Is it like, where dung beetles go when they die?

Rock On
Showing results 1 to 30 of 456

 
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