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Search: Posts Made By: ZanasCross
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-14-2013, 05:09 PM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
I went skydiving once and my parachute failed. I...

I went skydiving once and my parachute failed. I died. The end.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-26-2013, 07:45 PM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
If you wanted to extend the dates of the...

If you wanted to extend the dates of the tour:

Pittsburgh
Morgantown WV
Charleston WV
Huntington WV
Lexington KY
Louisville KY
Nashville TN
Knoxville TN
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-21-2013, 02:57 PM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
Where are you stopping? Also, congrats, you sexy...

Where are you stopping?

Also, congrats, you sexy bastard.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics Contests 05-13-2013, 03:47 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 593
Posted By ZanasCross
To be clear, even though I'm in here, I voted. My...

To be clear, even though I'm in here, I voted. My piece didn't deserve to win, so I voted otherwise. Just so there is no confusion later. :cheers:

Also, so a new post shows up in the comp forums...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-10-2013, 02:14 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 495
Posted By ZanasCross
this was good. this would be better with...

this was good. this would be better with punctuation. still a worthy wotw.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics Contests 05-02-2013, 08:37 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 649
Posted By ZanasCross
Hey Jims, when you get a chance could you update...

Hey Jims, when you get a chance could you update to make sure which pieces you've received already? My internet died when I tried to send it the first time, and I'm not sure if it came through.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-29-2013, 12:16 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 26,543
Posted By ZanasCross
Thanks everyone. I'm surprised a bit you guys...

Thanks everyone.

I'm surprised a bit you guys don't like the "No" line. I really love the way it inserts a staccato. I read it with a very "authoritarian voice" in the way of "No. *pause for a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics Contests 04-29-2013, 10:03 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 649
Posted By ZanasCross
Late but in.

Late but in.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-18-2013, 12:11 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 276
Posted By ZanasCross
I wanted so dearly to like this. It has this...

I wanted so dearly to like this.

It has this gravitas (that I generally feel your poetry has) that is classic. I always imagine your poetry being read by some deep-voiced godly-man while he looks...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-14-2013, 09:45 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 418
Posted By ZanasCross
This was great. I hope to come back and be more...

This was great. I hope to come back and be more constructive, but if I forget, know it was enjoyed.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-11-2013, 09:53 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 777
Posted By ZanasCross
Congrats, this is well deserved. Solid piece, as...

Congrats, this is well deserved. Solid piece, as I said before. :golfclap:
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-10-2013, 08:29 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 292
Posted By ZanasCross
and where these things meet, under (+) a sky...

and where these things meet, under (+)
a sky barely visible from the city’s foundations,
the first stories of steel beams and skeletons(+)
of future buildings, rise like shouts(+)
between rooftops in...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-09-2013, 11:55 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 777
Posted By ZanasCross
This is a really solid piece; but I think it...

This is a really solid piece; but I think it needs some cleaning up and some punctuating to really take it from "solid outline" to completed piece. The second stanza is just a bit out of line with...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-08-2013, 11:28 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 423
Posted By ZanasCross
This is on the verge of being a solid piece. I...

This is on the verge of being a solid piece. I think the issue isn't the technique (especially considering how much I enjoy mixing science terminology with poetry)... but a problem of tone control....
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-08-2013, 11:21 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 403
Posted By ZanasCross
This is actually one of the more solid true...

This is actually one of the more solid true "songs" I've seen on here in a while. The main issue I have is the refrain of "in a hall of mirrors." In every stanza, it seems tacked on to the end. It...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-06-2013, 12:14 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 422
Posted By ZanasCross
I loved everything up until the large break....

I loved everything up until the large break. After that, I felt like you were "trying to hard" to resolve this into something more meaningful than a self-referential poem. If you don't have that, I...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-05-2013, 09:01 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 26,543
Posted By ZanasCross
WotW: Envelopes

The butterfly bursts from it's coccoon,
rippling probababilistic envelopes through time.
And she was there,
a raven in her hair and the ocean in her smile.
And he was there,
eyes upon her breasts,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-02-2013, 08:47 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,825
Posted By ZanasCross
Fred_Away. Some of his most consistently high...

Fred_Away. Some of his most consistently high quality months.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-01-2013, 08:41 AM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
Post a video of you slamming in the nude. It's...

Post a video of you slamming in the nude. It's the only way.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-23-2013, 06:13 PM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
Flogging Molly was my first show. Man... nothing...

Flogging Molly was my first show. Man... nothing has ever lived up to that level of energy both from the band and the crowd.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2013, 11:13 AM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
Congrats Andre (3000)! Also, well done Allen. Not...

Congrats Andre (3000)! Also, well done Allen. Not the easiest time to be an S&L mod and you handled it with class.

:cheers: to both!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-08-2013, 09:29 AM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
...

http://jobsearch.about.com/cs/curriculumvitae/f/cvresume.htm
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-07-2013, 09:43 AM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
That only counts if you simultaneously eat a...

That only counts if you simultaneously eat a whole large pizza while killing hookers. Otherwise, you're still a boy.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-24-2013, 09:21 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 534
Posted By ZanasCross
For what it's worth, I really enjoyed this read....

For what it's worth, I really enjoyed this read. I typically dislike structured poetry; because it always feels like plot or detail is scraficed to "make weight," but this felt very natural. Even if...
Forum: The Pit 02-22-2013, 10:49 AM
Replies: 58
Views: 1,673
Posted By ZanasCross
Actually, depending on the breed (Yorkies are...

Actually, depending on the breed (Yorkies are known for this), if it pops all the way out, it can get stuck. If you don't put it back in normally, blood flow can get cut off and it can necrose. I'd...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-16-2013, 10:59 AM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
Mead making is relaxing. I really enjoy the...

Mead making is relaxing. I really enjoy the process (other than the 6 month waiting period). I had a nice cycle where I had a new batch ready every month before I moved... now I have no mead. It...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-12-2013, 01:00 PM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
Not that this does much good, Fred, but I can...

Not that this does much good, Fred, but I can relate. I was roughly where you are my freshman/sophomore year of college. I had spent up until as a solo unit, I had friends; but if they disappeared...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-12-2013, 12:54 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 275
Posted By ZanasCross
Normally, I find your work to be both well...

Normally, I find your work to be both well constructed and hyper-relateable. Like, even though you're talking about things that are in your life, I find my life in it somehow.

However, this I only...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-11-2013, 01:49 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,225
Posted By ZanasCross
Great.

Great.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-01-2013, 12:00 PM
Replies: 2,090
Views: 68,359
Posted By ZanasCross
^:golfclap: Congrats man! EDIT: ghost'd by a...

^:golfclap: Congrats man!

EDIT: ghost'd by a goldfish. ^ => ^^
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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