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Search: Posts Made By: Erlendhagen3
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-10-2010, 02:54 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 252
Posted By Erlendhagen3
Religion and money

hmm, couldn't sleep and had allot on my mind. so I got into a dark place in my head and blurted out some scribble. and I am sorry if someone gets offended by this. C4C!

I'm dreaming of a dark haired...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-09-2009, 11:07 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 218
Posted By Erlendhagen3
liked it allot, good work. only thing that kinda...

liked it allot, good work. only thing that kinda sucked was the "fast forward a year later" part.... easy way to solve the problem tho: instead of the fast forward thing, just put a "NOW" like "Now...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-04-2009, 11:25 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 280
Posted By Erlendhagen3
ty mate :)

ty mate :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-04-2009, 10:26 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 221
Posted By Erlendhagen3
sure is emo allright, but I kinda liked it....

sure is emo allright, but I kinda liked it. wasn't like all the other love songs filled with sunshine and rainbows....it's dark and brutal. Don't like all the repeats, but, if you like it, keep it....
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-03-2009, 08:28 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 280
Posted By Erlendhagen3
thanks mate :)

thanks mate :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-03-2009, 08:31 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 584
Posted By Erlendhagen3
I love the imagery in this poem, and the words...

I love the imagery in this poem, and the words flow nicely, don't really know what to say mate. I loved it, good read.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-02-2009, 11:12 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 280
Posted By Erlendhagen3
yeah mate, I know, it isn't really a lyric in...

yeah mate, I know, it isn't really a lyric in that sense, but dno what to call it rly, free writing maybe ;>
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-02-2009, 11:00 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 280
Posted By Erlendhagen3
liquid killer

a little short lyric bout alchohol. I'll crit back, enjoy

the drink consumes him, it's his shadow,
tragically, he sleeps on the ******* table,
drunk as ****, all he can say is aaahhhhh.
born sober,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-27-2009, 11:48 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 226
Posted By Erlendhagen3
please repost this, with the actual title. It's...

please repost this, with the actual title. It's in the forum rules.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-27-2009, 03:03 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 408
Posted By Erlendhagen3
"If love is only for lovers I’ll call...

"If love is only for lovers I’ll call my
feelings for you the most exquisite not-love" loved it, the piece is really good, I was amazed.
The ending was strong and delightfull, one of the better...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-24-2009, 09:01 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 382
Posted By Erlendhagen3
"Lips shining with lust sound more sensual...

"Lips shining with lust sound more sensual to me but maybe that's only since I don't like that much make-up on girls x)" yeah I understand you, but this girl, she goes mad without her red lipstick,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-24-2009, 08:46 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 382
Posted By Erlendhagen3
thanks allot for the "sympathy" and...

thanks allot for the "sympathy" and crits :p and yeah, I'm a positive guy so I think it will all work out in the end :D
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-24-2009, 11:47 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 382
Posted By Erlendhagen3
thanks mate, but, the thing is, it's my...

thanks mate, but, the thing is, it's my bestfriend, she has been having REAL hard troubble getting over this guy, and after a while we hit it off, we made out and did **** for like 3weeks, and then...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-23-2009, 03:58 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 382
Posted By Erlendhagen3
the worst kind of three-way

So, I'm lying in my bed trying to sleep. And all these thoughts and words come like a lightningbolt, so I jumped up and scribbled it down. This is the Result, enjoy

Let me dismantle your fear,
get...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-23-2009, 01:10 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 259
Posted By Erlendhagen3
I really enjoyed this piece, it connected with me...

I really enjoyed this piece, it connected with me in quite a way, allthough I have never been stud up that way. it was kind of confusing tho, has he invited her or is he expecting her to come...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-23-2009, 01:05 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 383
Posted By Erlendhagen3
"I slowly approached her bed, and...

"I slowly approached her bed, and accidentally bumped the nightstand: sending the lamp and an empty bottle of sleeping pills to the floor."
empty bottle people, granny wanted to sleep..... get it?...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-16-2009, 11:29 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 176
Posted By Erlendhagen3
ok guys, I thank you for the crit, just so u...

ok guys, I thank you for the crit, just so u know, it's written after a melodi so it fits, but....Can't u guys get what the song is about? I made it about something I belive is wrong, atleast the 1st...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-15-2009, 10:59 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 176
Posted By Erlendhagen3
falling liar

ok, so I made a lyric for my screamo band, I have put together some of my old lyrics and tweeked them so they fit to this song, I'm not sure what to do for the 3rd verse so please help C4C

VERS...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-13-2009, 10:01 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 144
Posted By Erlendhagen3
you, undone

so this is a lyric I wrote for my screamo band, it's written after a melodi just so u know. Need some feedback on it C4C :).

INTRO-------------------
...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-23-2008, 04:54 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 390
Posted By Erlendhagen3
hi, I'm really sorry but I don't feel I'm the man...

hi, I'm really sorry but I don't feel I'm the man to crit your piece, I'm a 16year old from norway, so the english there got WAAAY complicated for me, really sorry mate.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-23-2008, 04:48 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 279
Posted By Erlendhagen3
I would change "And wated for the deep"...

I would change "And wated for the deep" to "And awaited the deep", flows more in my opinion, and "I swam for so long" to "I swam so long", otherwise it was a really neet poem, the rhymes doesn't seem...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-23-2008, 04:43 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 311
Posted By Erlendhagen3
"I’m guessing the “bald eagle” represents...

"I’m guessing the “bald eagle” represents the United States and this song is about its angry citizens rising up and revolting." mate u just made my day, I love your interpretation on this, I didn't...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-23-2008, 12:02 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 311
Posted By Erlendhagen3
guitarheroII thanks mate, the thing is that the...

guitarheroII thanks mate, the thing is that the line actually fits, as it is screamed and the other line begins while it's screamed, if you know what I mean. as we have the bass player screaming...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-22-2008, 07:09 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 311
Posted By Erlendhagen3
thanks for your crit ARCtrooper225, I will work...

thanks for your crit ARCtrooper225, I will work on my english some more, 16years old atm, so my school doesn'y exactly promote more complicated english :P. I will crit your piece tomorrow, as now I...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-22-2008, 06:49 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 134
Posted By Erlendhagen3
I really enjoyed it, serioucly good writing mate,...

I really enjoyed it, serioucly good writing mate, very emotional and well-put. Sorry don't have anything more to add :)

crit my latest? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1027985
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-22-2008, 06:35 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 311
Posted By Erlendhagen3
fallen

It's for my screamo band, I play drums and I love making teksts, so I just wanted to put my suggestion for a song up here before reveiling it to my band :)

Green fields and blue sky's are thorn,
a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-19-2008, 03:38 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 204
Posted By Erlendhagen3
Two friends

so I posted this piece a month or two ago, and didn't get any critisism that helped me at all, so I'm reposting it now:

TWO FRIENDS

Its hard, when the girl you love as your friend,
when the girl...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-19-2008, 01:40 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,056
Posted By Erlendhagen3
"I've been reading a lot of film reviews...

"I've been reading a lot of film reviews lately and if there's one thing that applies here as well is that it's "slow". The progression of the story is very slow. I think the point that you have made...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-19-2008, 01:03 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 659
Posted By Erlendhagen3
serioucly, this was brutal and BRILLIANT man, u...

serioucly, this was brutal and BRILLIANT man, u kinda reminded me of randy blithe there.

"You will find freedom in nothing and hatred in everything.
Your hunt for a solution to an insoluble problem...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-18-2008, 01:53 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 377
Posted By Erlendhagen3
thanks mate :p, dont matter if the titles are...

thanks mate :p, dont matter if the titles are close, as long as u have your own lyric :p
Showing results 1 to 30 of 52

 
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