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Search: Posts Made By: Jammydude44
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-02-2015, 10:20 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 300
Posted By Jammydude44
Different Towns

you made your point
what can I say?
you made your point as clear as day
I got shot down
you got het up
I played the fool and king at once
which ****ed it up

and it's all over now and there's not...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-29-2015, 07:12 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 297
Posted By Jammydude44
Worlds Apart

remember when we used to feel
we were in charge of gravity
and we'd decide how the planets aligned
and how the tides would turn at sea

now we're poles apart, and you're an afterthought
(I'm running...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-12-2015, 08:09 PM
Replies: 1,593
Views: 95,139
Posted By Jammydude44
I still think you should get shot of the two sub...

I still think you should get shot of the two sub forums and run monthly contests through the main forum as a sticky, and also open up the rules to allow lyric writing discussion. Like, yeah.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-12-2015, 07:38 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 287
Posted By Jammydude44
Your Heart Will Feel So Damn Sore

I can't take back my love
but I can take away my hand
I won't take your melodies
but I'll take away the band

and you'll be sitting on the sofa
and your heart will feel so damn sore

I can't take...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-04-2015, 04:10 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 339
Posted By Jammydude44
Out by the Exit

I pocketed the notion, quick on the uptake
as per usual - talk slow, low, on the side
and resist the temptation to flick a pupil
her way. The air thickened into slag, each
psychic wave held in molten...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-02-2015, 05:29 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 211
Posted By Jammydude44
Centre Stage

it takes a tick for you to fib
and rob the moment of it's fizz
a sentence hangs upon your lip
but it never drops

inaudible the truth it creeps
from the corner of your eye it seeps
into your double...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-21-2015, 02:48 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 408
Posted By Jammydude44
Frustratingly, grasping for meaning in the...

Frustratingly, grasping for meaning in the universal alongside the recognition of the more ordinary local seems to recur a lot in your work, and I've always found you far more interesting when you...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-21-2015, 02:38 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 261
Posted By Jammydude44
Red Hair

you always had the kind of eyes that were more intrigued by the novel
than what was new yesterday
preferred my cheek to be covered in stubble than have your lips slip straight off my face
you got...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-11-2014, 05:17 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 631
Posted By Jammydude44
hey.i wish i knew what i was thinking when i left...

hey.i wish i knew what i was thinking when i left my body. you never return to this question and thus it becomes a weak and underdeveloped line. In a piece where every line counts, once you've read...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-11-2014, 04:59 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 449
Posted By Jammydude44
"Arachnoid bridges" sticks out like a...

"Arachnoid bridges" sticks out like a sore thumb, so does "rendering". "Indistinct instance" doesn't ring half as sharp as it wants to be. "gauges and meters" really clashes with "partial pictures",...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-11-2014, 04:51 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 424
Posted By Jammydude44
I think there's several kernels of different...

I think there's several kernels of different pieces, or at least tones, here, and they clash. I think the vocabulary as a whole isn't fully coherent together - like, I think an idea presented as...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-11-2014, 04:41 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 640
Posted By Jammydude44
WotW: Where it Started

I pinpointed the moment we might have lost it
I skipped about three episodes ahead in the boxset
you were out
and I was in
bored stiff and suffering
self-pity had got a little bit repetitive

so I...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-27-2014, 04:50 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 199
Posted By Jammydude44
Last Corner

she was filled with regret the moment her lips stopped moving
the part where she had parted them was still looming
upon them like a thunderstorm as they wound their way back home

she was equipped...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-23-2014, 02:23 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 218
Posted By Jammydude44
The Ridges

is it an open secret?
or the ending of a trilogy
don't spoil me

you make your mind up as you go along
like the wit of a poem or song
I find it get's overly complicated
to follow
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-14-2014, 10:20 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 276
Posted By Jammydude44
Creeping Over Broken Glass

i remember
i remember
when your name at the top of the text
got me wet
promising potential or threat

i remember
i remember
sticking my hands in glue
to hold you close
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-12-2014, 05:01 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 352
Posted By Jammydude44
Right Behind

this temptation carnival's
tantamount to torture
these handcuffs look different
from what I bought ya
I knew your shadow
liked itself stretched out
reaching for the edges of the frame

walking down...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-07-2014, 03:44 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 512
Posted By Jammydude44

the light is getting cold
am I bright or am I old?
they all dance now pretty weird
stuck in a trance now
stuck in a trance now

this night is getting morning
all over itself, should I stall it?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-09-2014, 12:14 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 476
Posted By Jammydude44
Just to note, that's just half a sentence. I...

Just to note, that's just half a sentence. I wouldn't expect it to make any sense, it's grammatically improbable. Thanks for your time :)

Cheers HippieBoy. Though I disagree with your point about...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-08-2014, 04:52 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 368
Posted By Jammydude44
This read very within itself. It's like you put a...

This read very within itself. It's like you put a catalytic convertor on your pen. Or, like, a better metaphor.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-08-2014, 04:49 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 476
Posted By Jammydude44
Nah I have the voice of a dying squirrel and the...

Nah I have the voice of a dying squirrel and the music skills of a deaf amputee.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-07-2014, 07:19 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 476
Posted By Jammydude44
Out of View

the rigmarole stopped hoarding
the daily suspense
of an underwater current
of the silent bent
the atmosphere withholding
an oxygenated air
despite the generosity of firelighters
we couldnít get past...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-19-2014, 06:37 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 301
Posted By Jammydude44

he haunts you like he was walking
along your tongue for every word
each syllable drops with his hands propped
up your back just to be heard

his deft palette is your natural accent
where his lilt...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-13-2014, 07:06 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 276
Posted By Jammydude44
Nothing But Empty

the promises of yesterday became the dodgy rhymes of now
the witness to your murmurs is still passed out
the silhouette at the end of the room turns around and smiles
cigarette smoke dances out of...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-25-2014, 03:59 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 423
Posted By Jammydude44
Harder to Find

nb - writing some pop songs for a [female] friend.

i'm so fed up of being ****ed
and ****ed off with being fed
all your lies and all your bullshit
when you wake up in my bed
it's not okay for you to...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-24-2014, 10:56 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 333
Posted By Jammydude44
Cheers. I owe you a bunch so keep nagging...

Cheers. I owe you a bunch so keep nagging me.

I've been bored with writing so as a challenge I'm trying to write some lyrics for a friend of mine, not that she'll ever get round to recording. Very...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-23-2014, 05:23 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 333
Posted By Jammydude44
Stuck in a Book

is that the sun creeping around the curtain?
if it is that's probably all I know for certain
I remember your face 'cos it's in front of my eyes
beyond that it's blank, like I've been hypnotised

Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-16-2014, 09:26 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 255
Posted By Jammydude44
On the Nose

apart from you Iím dexterous
with my wit dipped in silver nitrate
my tongue delivers properly
what it is I want to say

a part of me gets twisted when
youíre fringe slips between my words
and the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-09-2014, 02:22 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 285
Posted By Jammydude44
Like so Much

it was written on her forehead to be careful
of her missteps
and cadence
so softly she'd suggest the expense
of leaving soon

she would delight in the dancing of your urges
and set the tip...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-07-2014, 11:53 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 487
Posted By Jammydude44
Haha, cheers. You lot love a good metre. I knew...

Haha, cheers. You lot love a good metre. I knew this was the snappiest thing I'd written in about five years.

I'm pretty sure there's no exact style, I've been writing this way since the join date...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-28-2014, 06:40 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 487
Posted By Jammydude44
WotW: It's Your Fault For Coming Over

behold the eyes, they're smitten behind
the smouldering stare
the stare she's got there
until the tide takes over her tongue
she's folding her smile
scolding her thumbs

perturbed, her lips bow...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

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