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Search: Posts Made By: Ebshabutiee
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-10-2012, 12:30 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 613
Posted By Ebshabutiee
always nice to catch one of your pieces whenever...

always nice to catch one of your pieces whenever i lurk around on here.
beautiful as always.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-06-2011, 09:11 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 179
Posted By Ebshabutiee
summation II

white water murky against my toes
the hair curls back, back exposed
face pressed against the cool floor
shirtless, recanting and editing each word
as it drips out of my mouth
like ambrosia swirling...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-06-2011, 08:55 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 573
Posted By Ebshabutiee
:heart:

:heart:
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-27-2011, 11:36 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 142
Posted By Ebshabutiee
summation I

on good terms with the lower end
of the spectrum the volatile beauty
enters the room so cool from the ac
that the air is crisp like a whip across
sweat drenched foreheads and may
be the month i end...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-02-2010, 11:28 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 181
Posted By Ebshabutiee
Okay

with no sidewalk
do i tread on fresh cut grass
or walk softly across the pavement
headlights flash
saying, move aside
how can i with no where to go?
flashlights shine
shouting please get off
how can...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-02-2010, 11:03 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 589
Posted By Ebshabutiee
That's why i generally don't post here anymore....

That's why i generally don't post here anymore. inb4 closed by ragefilled mods
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-07-2010, 12:28 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 177
Posted By Ebshabutiee
12:27 Am Est

the past and the future
remain
blocked

only by
our
eyes and ears
and mouth
feet fingers toes
the uppermost
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-28-2010, 01:18 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 210
Posted By Ebshabutiee
elementary advice

i remember telling you to shelve that lemonade stand idea of yours
to finance a more suiting heroin and coke dealership
you could be my heroine as i drink all of the coke
and we could sit outside in...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-25-2010, 07:48 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 246
Posted By Ebshabutiee
there's not much to be said, it's a simple funny...

there's not much to be said, it's a simple funny piece about life, that is all.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-25-2010, 12:19 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 246
Posted By Ebshabutiee
how now tao cow

at the grocery store standing in front of the lobster tank
watching them scuttle into corners praying don't pick me
i'd like to think they understand the reality of their situation

and on the walk...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-06-2010, 11:57 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 288
Posted By Ebshabutiee
eh i'm used to it, out of like the last 6 or 7...

eh i'm used to it, out of like the last 6 or 7 pieces i've posted here i think 3 of them have zero comments. I can understand how the choice of words can make this piece unattractive, but i can't see...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-04-2010, 01:04 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 288
Posted By Ebshabutiee
I think I know the combination

Cold to the touch
Hastily, placed
The lock backwards on the locker
Lean against it and look up
And confabulate the correct combination
Recollect yourself.

And you reach
Solipsistically to...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-03-2010, 11:36 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 290
Posted By Ebshabutiee
why did you ever stop having fun?

why did you ever stop having fun?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-02-2010, 02:21 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 209
Posted By Ebshabutiee
forgetting to breath

breath in my lungs, they collapse
and i exhale what could be
described as a paring knife
skinning my wind pipes

like fake cigarette smoke its hung
as delicate as a '**** you' beginning
unhinged and...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-25-2010, 01:44 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 181
Posted By Ebshabutiee
untitled

i chatter 'cross telephone lines
my teeth shake, mid summer
it isn't cold, and i miss you
like the spring showers
and newborn flowers, crisscrossin'
tossing up fives to the minute mart
owner buying...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-02-2010, 09:29 PM
Replies: 1,410
Views: 64,789
Posted By Ebshabutiee
you look over blue in the eyes and lips sayin'...

you look over
blue in the eyes and lips
sayin' what's wrong
what's got you like that
all
meh about everythin'
you look so
meh about everythin'
is it somethin i did?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-02-2010, 08:55 PM
Replies: 0
Paw
Views: 182
Posted By Ebshabutiee
Paw

the lioness crept silently over to the bear,
humbly she asked him with a tight lip grin
why is your composure so grim, why is it
that you are like a sloth in your stature?
shaking his head, he...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-26-2010, 08:42 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 543
Posted By Ebshabutiee
it is, a lot better actually. you are a damn...

it is, a lot better actually. you are a damn impressive writer.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-26-2010, 05:14 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 543
Posted By Ebshabutiee
the ending was weak, which was disappointing...

the ending was weak, which was disappointing because the beginning had such flow.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-25-2010, 11:51 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 244
Posted By Ebshabutiee
this could honestly be a catchy song, heres a...

this could honestly be a catchy song, heres a bump any-hoo for the comment on my last piece.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-25-2010, 11:49 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 353
Posted By Ebshabutiee
Aside from what i stated above, this piece was...

Aside from what i stated above, this piece was very solid and had a good message. Thanks for commenting on my piece, by the way.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-24-2010, 08:20 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 324
Posted By Ebshabutiee
thanks all, Mutmoo i will get to your piece later...

thanks all, Mutmoo i will get to your piece later on tonight i promise. Fred thanks, i fixed the errors. Congrats on WotM by the way!

i'm debating on adding more to this or possibly making it into a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-24-2010, 03:07 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 324
Posted By Ebshabutiee
phantoms, ghosts, and love birds. (updated)

i see you crossing through the long aisles of grass petals
like the corn field we use to get lost in as kids
you have some sort of direction i would like to think
and in a moment you are gone, you...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-14-2010, 10:26 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 217
Posted By Ebshabutiee
Squirrel

hold my eyes tomorrow
i will move through touch
bounce along tree branch
to power line on the digits
ten for each and every grace
five move ahead scouting
they make their stand
grasped tight on the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-07-2010, 12:57 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 850
Posted By Ebshabutiee
alaskan and bleed away both in this month, going...

alaskan and bleed away both in this month, going to be a tough poll.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-25-2010, 09:09 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 163
Posted By Ebshabutiee
differ.

I differ from parking lot to parking lot
every cold word falls short in an Aramaic mist
two more seagulls fly to the nearest McDonald's sidewalk flower
two more to every car muffler Cologne the world...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-15-2010, 08:51 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 219
Posted By Ebshabutiee
you should write about not having any...

you should write about not having any ideas.


reported, this isnt what this forum is for.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-08-2010, 09:41 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 498
Posted By Ebshabutiee
the ending is awkward if you reworded it this...

the ending is awkward if you reworded it this piece would be great.
i also disagree with the title, I've heard from many people that throwing spears can get you laid. ;)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-08-2010, 09:38 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 379
Posted By Ebshabutiee
no matter how bad a piece is, Do not flame, its...

no matter how bad a piece is, Do not flame, its childish. If you think a ts is just trolling, posting garbage material, or if you feel the material breaks forum rules than report it. Bumping it with...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-06-2010, 03:33 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 657
Posted By Ebshabutiee
as i've started to frequent S&L I've seen...

as i've started to frequent S&L I've seen alot of the writers on here who i used to read a lot stepping out of their comfort zone. this was an example of that. and it was very well done.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 387

 
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