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Search: Posts Made By: beakerbeaker
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-17-2007, 11:54 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 191
Posted By beakerbeaker
Changing The Steps

First poem as opposed to song, got no idea if it's any good, let me know your thoughts :)

Changing The Steps

The boy and the girl in her pretty red dress
(tugged at the hem to flirt with...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-17-2007, 11:12 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 208
Posted By beakerbeaker
Wink Sore Finger Blues

Not actually the title but my fingers hurt now from trying to get this one sorted :P Open to title suggestions and what have you.

This is basically about someone who lives fast and doesn't...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-25-2007, 09:10 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 256
Posted By beakerbeaker
I liked it a lot, it reminded me of Mark Knopfler...

I liked it a lot, it reminded me of Mark Knopfler in a strange way. I also liked how it was written from personal experience, I mean obviously it sucks for you but it gives the song more depth...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-12-2007, 02:30 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 375
Posted By beakerbeaker
Hey I thought this was really good, especially...

Hey I thought this was really good, especially the links with the scale and Anubis etc, they didn't seem forced at all. The only thing I would say was that the rhyme scheme changed partway through,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-10-2007, 08:58 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 495
Posted By beakerbeaker
Overall a really good set of lyrics, really...

Overall a really good set of lyrics, really heartfelt and emotive, perfect for a love song! Another thing I noticed was your rhyme scheme, in the first verse its rhyming couplets and in the rest its...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-09-2007, 11:26 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 297
Posted By beakerbeaker
Thanks these are all really useful, I don't like...

Thanks these are all really useful, I don't like the chorus much either, they aren't my strong point. Will take your notes into account!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-09-2007, 11:23 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 446
Posted By beakerbeaker
Thanks guys these are all great! Wow I seem to...

Thanks guys these are all great! Wow I seem to have a problem with titles don't I? :P
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 04:04 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 297
Posted By beakerbeaker
Thanks for that :)

Thanks for that :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 04:04 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 297
Posted By beakerbeaker
Uhh... does the title matter guys? I'll change it...

Uhh... does the title matter guys? I'll change it if it's ruffling feathers I just thought it fitted the sentiment of the song
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 03:59 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 297
Posted By beakerbeaker
I don't like Muse so I'm going to have to put it...

I don't like Muse so I'm going to have to put it down to coincidence
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 03:51 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 297
Posted By beakerbeaker
Green Stockholm Syndrome

This one's about when you love the one you're with but feel smothered by them and have to get out and live for yourself.

Hope you like it, please crit!

Verse 1:

You promised we could go driving in...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 03:04 PM
Replies: 1,849
Views: 35,301
Posted By beakerbeaker
Mute the world for your sonic protection Paint me...

Mute the world for your sonic protection
Paint me gold and put me in your collection
I feel like somebody new today
Left behind an age of disarray
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 02:46 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 613
Posted By beakerbeaker
I didn't previously know about the story behind...

I didn't previously know about the story behind this but I looked it up and it all fits pretty well!

The only thing I would say is that I couldn't sing it in my head too easily, like I couldn't...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-08-2007, 03:29 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 446
Posted By beakerbeaker
Thanks guys, I really appreciate it!

Thanks guys, I really appreciate it!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-07-2007, 05:44 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 446
Posted By beakerbeaker
Upto Josie (completed version)

Hey for those of you who've seen the original (in the sig) I hope you like the finished product!

For everyone else, this is my first whole song, please crit!

Verse 1:

Josie makes a star
With a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-07-2007, 04:51 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 192
Posted By beakerbeaker
But yeah overall you have a good thing going...

But yeah overall you have a good thing going here, it DEFINATELY fits the style and I know nothing about metal so that's saying something. Crit mine please? It's in the sig :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-07-2007, 04:41 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 197
Posted By beakerbeaker
Not sure where the rabbit comes into it, I think...

Not sure where the rabbit comes into it, I think it would be pretty cool if you left it ambiguous as to whether you mean a girl or sunrise.

Just work on the flow and some elegant variation and this...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-07-2007, 04:11 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 872
Posted By beakerbeaker
The concept is good but I'm not to crazy on the...

The concept is good but I'm not to crazy on the over-repetition of the word 'curb', maybe you could slide a metaphor in there at some points like calling it the 'brink' or something (implying you're...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-07-2007, 04:06 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 774
Posted By beakerbeaker
I like how the start links to the end and I think...

I like how the start links to the end and I think the the first 2 and last 2 lines have a really sweet sentiment.

A few slightly clichéd moments like 'pass the test of time' and it was a bit...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-06-2007, 05:47 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 219
Posted By beakerbeaker
Well in that case it works well, I just wasn't...

Well in that case it works well, I just wasn't sure whether it was meant to be in keeping with the rest of it which is a bit lighter
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-06-2007, 05:45 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 220
Posted By beakerbeaker
Ahh cheers :D

Ahh cheers :D
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-06-2007, 05:40 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 220
Posted By beakerbeaker
No just amending bits and growing it abit

No just amending bits and growing it abit
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-06-2007, 05:33 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 220
Posted By beakerbeaker
Cheers for that I'm planning a re-write as we...

Cheers for that I'm planning a re-write as we speak :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-06-2007, 05:32 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 219
Posted By beakerbeaker
I kinda liked the contemporary reference to DVDs,...

I kinda liked the contemporary reference to DVDs, but not so much a fan of the beer point, I dunno maybe it's just me but it sounds a bit banal and it slightly undercuts the rest of what you have....
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-06-2007, 05:13 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 220
Posted By beakerbeaker
Josie

Acoustic folksy, in the style of Belle and Sebastian.

Unfinished, would appreciate any suggestions you have :)

Verse 1:

Josie makes a star
With a stick, in the sand

She throws away her shoes
Showing results 1 to 25 of 25

 
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