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Search: Posts Made By: alaskan_ninja
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-27-2015, 06:34 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 332
Posted By alaskan_ninja
i really like the way parts of this kind of...

i really like the way parts of this kind of rhyme, but not quite. it's got a rhythm to it. and it's got a humanity to it; whoever 'she' is, she seems real.

one thing, though, the line is bad. ...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-23-2015, 07:35 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 265
Posted By alaskan_ninja
future medicine house

we will all contract the alien parasite, the last few
purposely because they did not want to be left out
and despite the parasite life will go on, we will learn
to live with it, and once in a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-23-2015, 07:23 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 296
Posted By alaskan_ninja
oh man i really like this one. especially the...

oh man i really like this one. especially the middle stanza. sharks and tugboats pulling us around the sun by chains is the type of imagery i love. i am a little bit unsure how the first&last...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-14-2015, 10:42 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 294
Posted By alaskan_ninja
let me show you my collection of spiders

when you have stretched nets across the span of bridges
and captured the ships coming into the lake it might
be the correct time for me to show you the place i have hidden
down beneath the museum...
Forum: The Pit 05-31-2015, 08:30 AM
Replies: 58
Views: 1,219
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Birdman. Ugh.

Birdman. Ugh.
Forum: The Pit 01-17-2015, 07:28 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 957
Posted By alaskan_ninja
No, he's just wearing pants that are a little bit...

No, he's just wearing pants that are a little bit too tight. A lot of baseball players have a big ass, it usually means they are good at using their lower body when they swing the bat and generally...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-21-2014, 12:40 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 375
Posted By alaskan_ninja
man i feel like people don't do...

man i feel like people don't do rhyming/structured poetry enough here, especially something other than abab cdcd etc. kudos, i really dug this one
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-21-2014, 12:35 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 533
Posted By alaskan_ninja
i think it's better when you/the narrator are...

i think it's better when you/the narrator are more 'present', i.e., 'beer', 'sunsets', as opposed to wordiness. 'cumulonimbus' for example, that word is out of place, too scientific.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-21-2014, 12:32 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 420
Posted By alaskan_ninja
WotW: exploring soul universe with friends

along the path is fungus and this one
is pink on its undergills and another
is so perfectly formed that i know
god is quite proud of it and in the water
are stones rounded by the moon
that glitter...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-21-2014, 12:30 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 600
Posted By alaskan_ninja
i like the way you laid the rhyme out there, as...

i like the way you laid the rhyme out there, as if you knew it was perfect and all that was necessary.


snakes
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-21-2014, 12:29 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 600
Posted By alaskan_ninja
everything is one big tree

everything is one big tree
Forum: The Pit 09-07-2014, 10:40 PM
Replies: 50
Views: 947
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Go local sports team! Defeat non-local sports...

Go local sports team! Defeat non-local sports team!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-07-2014, 09:23 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 283
Posted By alaskan_ninja
the aquatic ape

into the eternal ocean i will dive
with hastily-evolved fins, descending
past the net-evading schools and many-armed
denizens of whirling currents, the growling leviathans
with their nameless limbs...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-28-2014, 11:59 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 494
Posted By alaskan_ninja
I read the title and a line from a song came to...

I read the title and a line from a song came to mind (this one--have you heard it? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIzb_NTU2pI)). The song and your poem brought me a similar feeling, at least on...
Forum: The Pit 04-24-2014, 06:21 PM
Replies: 47
Views: 967
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Going to seriously answer this. Seeing as it...

Going to seriously answer this. Seeing as it appears you are from Portugal, steps marked with an *asterisk only apply if you are traveling to the United States.

1. Before you leave, make sure your...
Forum: The Pit 04-21-2014, 06:19 AM
Replies: 66
Views: 1,338
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Sir Assington Lancelot von Butts III

Sir Assington Lancelot von Butts III
Forum: The Pit 04-19-2014, 09:23 AM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
He's also always been an above-average hitter...

He's also always been an above-average hitter against righties, even last year, but has been absolute shit against lefties. The Pirates are going to platoon him with Gaby Sanchez so he will probably...
Forum: The Pit 04-19-2014, 02:01 AM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
As soon as the call at third was overturned I...

As soon as the call at third was overturned I knew the slam was coming. Can't even get mad at Giancarlo :shrug:
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-18-2014, 05:01 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 516
Posted By alaskan_ninja
WotW: batman forever

i was back-broken and faceless
in sprawled cities, drunk on disaffection
and high on fake promises
and faded like the future grown into cracks
between the old pavement and the sky

in gutters new...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-18-2014, 04:47 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 535
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Like looking at a mountain through a telescope. ...

Like looking at a mountain through a telescope. The short lines emphasize the way you play with words, and you play with them so well. Then a step back, the lens removed, and the whole great entity...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-18-2014, 04:38 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 424
Posted By alaskan_ninja
This is nice. Personal and genuine. I like the...

This is nice. Personal and genuine. I like the imagery and the tone you cultivate, but the word "stupid" in the last line seems jarring and doesn't really fit in with the rest that is so...
Forum: The Pit 04-11-2014, 01:21 AM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Would you say the same about steroids? It's ok...

Would you say the same about steroids? It's ok because there's juicers on every team? It's against the rules, and there's certainly players who don't. In fact, I think you're grossly...
Forum: The Pit 04-10-2014, 11:03 PM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Doesn't mean it isn't still cheating. The Red...

Doesn't mean it isn't still cheating. The Red Sox didn't complain because their pitchers cheat too.
Forum: The Pit 04-10-2014, 10:30 PM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
So Michael Pineda is cheating.

So Michael Pineda is cheating.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-02-2014, 02:32 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 592
Posted By alaskan_ninja
aw thanks, y'all are so nice

aw thanks, y'all are so nice
Forum: The Pit 04-02-2014, 02:31 AM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Robinson Cano though. Robinson Cano!

Robinson Cano though. Robinson Cano!
Forum: The Pit 03-30-2014, 02:42 AM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
Hell yes I am back. And just in time for...

Hell yes I am back. And just in time for baseball! Woo! Baseball!


Also, THE MARINERS HAVE ROBINSON CANO SUCK IT EVERYONE SUCK IT LONG AND SUCK IT GOOD
Forum: The Pit 03-30-2014, 12:34 AM
Replies: 5,456
Views: 80,858
Posted By alaskan_ninja
sup

sup
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-21-2014, 02:54 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 826
Posted By alaskan_ninja
oh my god i am quite well, and that much better...

oh my god i am quite well, and that much better for reading the things you lovely people write once again. i shall probably stick around for some time.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-13-2014, 07:03 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 592
Posted By alaskan_ninja
WotW: chaotic lullabies

getting back into it



i was a spider,
crawling through trees and frightening children
and weaving nets to trap the little flying bugs and angels
and at night i would feed and worship the moon
with...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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