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Search: Posts Made By: spike_8bkp
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-21-2012, 12:41 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 498
Posted By spike_8bkp
This piece has a generally good flow and solid...

This piece has a generally good flow and solid imagery of kids in the big city, skirting love but perhaps not being too outward about it - like they're somewhere in between thinking Love and knowing...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-20-2012, 11:05 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
"With regard to imagery, most metaphor fails...

"With regard to imagery, most metaphor fails because it's used ornamentally (i.e., as "proof" of poesy); the rest, if not horribly wrong (inappropriately applied) or incorrect (a bad fit), dies...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-10-2012, 05:12 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 280
Posted By spike_8bkp
Specifying a common thing like a room - 'this' -...

Specifying a common thing like a room - 'this' - can be dangerous. What room are you talking about? Why is that particular room important? It doesn't come up later. Imagining it in my mind, with no...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-10-2012, 04:55 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 342
Posted By spike_8bkp
I enjoyed the naivete of the tone. It's young and...

I enjoyed the naivete of the tone. It's young and idealistic, smart enough to acknowledge wisdom, but not wise enough to embrace it. It's obviously going to build up from here. The concept is...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-07-2012, 06:35 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 254
Posted By spike_8bkp
Is this the poetry mech operators radio to each...

Is this the poetry mech operators radio to each other?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-06-2012, 06:45 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 619
Posted By spike_8bkp
Someone mentioned the empty sadness of the piece....

Someone mentioned the empty sadness of the piece. I feel that. Rearranged, it could be really great, like the nowhere is not anywhere line moving the end, and taking the current last line and putting...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-06-2012, 04:33 PM
Replies: 36
Views: 823
Posted By spike_8bkp
the kids have grown up to academic debates on...

the kids have grown up to academic debates on poetry!

how cute.

(Thanks for testing the boundaries, Matt.)

And Joyce is not a pompous ass; you just don't understand him. Don't hate what you...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-04-2012, 12:13 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 561
Posted By spike_8bkp
I love you, Carmel.

I love you, Carmel.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-31-2012, 07:43 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 636
Posted By spike_8bkp
dear s+l, excellent work. sincerely,...

dear s+l,

excellent work.

sincerely,
sean

p.s. ryan rules.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-19-2012, 02:23 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 299
Posted By spike_8bkp
woooo thanks for that ride, my friend. lesson...

woooo thanks for that ride, my friend. lesson learned: read it over and over again, and then draw conclusions. I was connecting the hymns to all of the religious references in the beginning, and...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-19-2012, 02:17 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 292
Posted By spike_8bkp
You're not around much, and neither am I. What a...

You're not around much, and neither am I. What a happy medium we've found.

you know what the best part of this poem is, and I shouldn't have to tell you that when it
all
slows
down,
it makes the...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-19-2012, 12:22 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 299
Posted By spike_8bkp
It got better and better the more I read it. The...

It got better and better the more I read it. The flow in the first stanza was a bit cheesy sometimes:

the euphoria depleting i start to feel deleted
tritones rise out of harmonies once unified

but...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-19-2012, 12:01 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 463
Posted By spike_8bkp
The I's and the I'ves and the fact that the...

The I's and the I'ves and the fact that the narrator (you?) created something or dug something or did something does not translate to the reader (me) your feelings (insecurities?) on the topic. I see...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-19-2012, 11:16 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 221
Posted By spike_8bkp
what is in those moments? answer that, and you...

what is in those moments?

answer that, and you have a poem. until then, you have cute actions associating love.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 01-09-2012, 12:17 PM
Replies: 1,410
Views: 64,576
Posted By spike_8bkp
i found god, somewhere deep in america...

i found god, somewhere deep in america central,
in a ghetto slingin' crackrocks to the blind -
he stole my camera, as if to say
you're not allowed to remember me like this.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-30-2011, 08:52 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
and what a story you'd have. too bad. I...

and what a story you'd have. too bad.

I remember a visiting poet once remarked that he liked Burque because "the sky is just so BIG there." I looked outside, and it was.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-30-2011, 08:49 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 306
Posted By spike_8bkp
the teacher

I don't know why I'm posting this. it's fresh and rough and unlooked at. but I don't know what else to do with it, so here. it's yours.

fourteen days ago
a frail man fell to pieces.

his...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-30-2011, 08:22 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 474
Posted By spike_8bkp
proof that death is life. you had me at...

proof that death is life. you had me at 'ridgelines'.I'm not sure there should be an -or- here. Just leave it with both titles, because the loss you feel when they're not around, that inspiration for...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-30-2011, 07:51 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
Blake, I lived in Albuquerque for most of my...

Blake, I lived in Albuquerque for most of my childhood before moving to Alaska, where the mountains are nothing short of epic and powerful and all of those LOTR words I can't think of right now....
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-21-2011, 07:31 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
no lifedates, just lifetimes. done with school,...

no lifedates, just lifetimes. done with school, skipping a semester to hop around central america and fingure out what I want to do with my life. will be back in the states come april, via florida....
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-21-2011, 07:15 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
I was lucky enough to have one teacher I really...

I was lucky enough to have one teacher I really liked, amidst those who thought my incomprehensible garble was 'brilliant', who dismissed it in front of the class (this was a zine whose publisher was...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-01-2011, 04:36 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
perhaps after I read it for the first time, I'll...

perhaps after I read it for the first time, I'll share it. it has about as many holes than a broken pasta strainer that I know about. but sure.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-30-2011, 11:52 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
I just finished a novel.

I just finished a novel.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-30-2011, 11:51 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 464
Posted By spike_8bkp
kickin' piece, as usual from the confused parade.

kickin' piece, as usual from the confused parade.
Forum: Metal 11-30-2011, 11:32 PM
Replies: 18,437
Views: 285,700
Posted By spike_8bkp
I haven't been in here in a while. you guys have...

I haven't been in here in a while. you guys have some crazylong threads going on these days. glad the rec. thread is still around :P

anyway. I saw Dark Funeral last night, and I just wanted to say...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-17-2011, 11:07 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
hey. is anyone else here doing NaNoWriMo right...

hey. is anyone else here doing NaNoWriMo right now?

I'm just past halfway. 27,000 words since 1 november. I'm supposed to have 50k by the end of the month, and supposedly a novel in my hands. or, on...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-07-2011, 07:50 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 188
Posted By spike_8bkp
I'm glad you got that out. Feel better?

I'm glad you got that out. Feel better?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-26-2011, 10:25 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
oh. well then. (who is Keeno, and what's it...

oh. well then.

(who is Keeno, and what's it short for?)

no worries on the crit. I'm in the process of memorizing the piece, and have since found that I'm up against some competition in the show,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-26-2011, 08:38 PM
Replies: 1,892
Views: 60,902
Posted By spike_8bkp
Let me get this straight: you didn't notice for...

Let me get this straight: you didn't notice for two months that the guy who keeps your rhythm on stage, and the girl who presumably keeps your rhythm elsewhere were keeping each other's rhythms, and...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-26-2011, 07:51 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 291
Posted By spike_8bkp
I disagree with fire's apathy. I love this. It's...

I disagree with fire's apathy. I love this. It's fantastic, and after class I'll tell you why.

edit: class was canceled. which is a terrible thing, because I've been looking forward to that class...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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