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Search: Posts Made By: 5wFisher
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-30-2015, 05:06 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 227
Posted By 5wFisher
You do need a chorus but I don't have any ideas...

You do need a chorus but I don't have any ideas for you. Good job. Keep it up!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-29-2015, 02:03 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 494
Posted By 5wFisher
live free

i took my own life
one bottle at a time
i never cared about my future
nor what i'd leave behind

but son, i can see clearly now

you gotta live free
don't worry too much
about what other people think
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-21-2015, 01:07 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 252
Posted By 5wFisher
blanket

i can feel the rain
i can hear her cries
i'm letting the pain
wash over me tonight

i doubt she'll care
come the morning light
her faith was stronger
than my will to fight
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-18-2015, 10:19 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 280
Posted By 5wFisher
One question... Is this intended to be rap,...

One question... Is this intended to be rap, poetry, both or neither?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-18-2015, 10:00 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 336
Posted By 5wFisher
i liked it. good rhyme scheme. what i didn't...

i liked it. good rhyme scheme. what i didn't enjoy though was the chorus. it makes for a nice poem without it.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-18-2015, 08:06 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 241
Posted By 5wFisher
yesterday

woman, you'd understand
i'm just a loner
just one, one night stand
with no regrets
is all i had planned
i'll start by saying
i can't change

come tomorrow
i'll be as gone
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-25-2014, 06:49 PM
Replies: 8
3am
Views: 303
Posted By 5wFisher
good work. i'm not sure why i like this as i...

good work. i'm not sure why i like this as i don't know what it means but it's intriguing
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-23-2014, 09:52 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 426
Posted By 5wFisher
welcome to earth

a work in progress...C4C?

when i was younger
my issues were not yet magnified
but now i am a pissant
about to get fried

nobody cares anymore
they just want me
out of their lives
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 09-05-2014, 11:19 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 419
Posted By 5wFisher
i'm not much of a poet. but i really enjoyed this!

i'm not much of a poet. but i really enjoyed this!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-31-2014, 01:05 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 433
Posted By 5wFisher
Thank you for your honesty. I'll move on from...

Thank you for your honesty. I'll move on from this (I wrote this about 3 years ago). I wanted to see where it stacked up.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-31-2014, 10:05 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 433
Posted By 5wFisher
rowdy tonight

*i'd appreciate any feedback, negative or positive (it's kinda country)

the beers are iced down
there's not a cop in town
we're gonna get rowdy tonight

the girls are coming over
they won't stay...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-25-2014, 05:14 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 393
Posted By 5wFisher
i like the effort but i do not care for the...

i like the effort but i do not care for the rhyming scheme at a first glance.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-25-2014, 05:10 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 313
Posted By 5wFisher
i like it as well, cut the chorus and lengthen it...

i like it as well, cut the chorus and lengthen it out a bit and you got a solid poem
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-20-2014, 09:26 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 517
Posted By 5wFisher
a river of tears

a river of tears, flooding
a plain of madness, terror
you can still hear the echoes
from the cracking of whips

we'll never be able to pay back
what our forefathers stole
some say it's okay
it's out...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-19-2014, 09:30 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 662
Posted By 5wFisher
i too enjoyed this. good work!

i too enjoyed this. good work!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 08-17-2014, 09:43 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 556
Posted By 5wFisher
i enjoyed this. i can easily see this becoming a...

i enjoyed this. i can easily see this becoming a good rock/grunge song. reminds me of a soundgarden song that i can't remember at the moment. keep on keeping on
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-08-2014, 11:45 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 369
Posted By 5wFisher
very compact. excellent diction. i like it!

very compact. excellent diction. i like it!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-08-2014, 11:40 PM
Replies: 4
You
Views: 393
Posted By 5wFisher
i like it. it's interesting enough (as it is) to...

i like it. it's interesting enough (as it is) to not need any further descriptions. well done
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-26-2014, 02:04 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 519
Posted By 5wFisher
thanks. i do not have a chorus. i wrote the...

thanks. i do not have a chorus. i wrote the first two verses 4 years ago and the last three last week.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-26-2014, 11:48 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 519
Posted By 5wFisher
politician

i have listless eyes
i have two busted hands
and he's only seen me
as a slave at his commands

my hands work
for the man of your dreams
collapse's on the horizon
for the child of his greed
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-22-2014, 09:05 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 479
Posted By 5wFisher
short but interesting. good work!

short but interesting. good work!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-10-2014, 01:04 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 274
Posted By 5wFisher
hang my hat

"i've got nowhere to hang my hat
no love to run to"

i sit here and watch the sun
fade at daybreak
another mistake
another broken heart

what's left for me?
a vacant lot
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-06-2014, 05:12 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 341
Posted By 5wFisher
love is war

between us lies
the battle ground
i always come out wounded

in the trenches
bodies lay mangled
the past is never
far behind
even on the brightest days
she is still entangled
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-18-2014, 08:38 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 205
Posted By 5wFisher
politics

lie after lie
time after time
all i know now
is politics

bred in hate
for money to be made
i see evil
everywhere
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 03-17-2014, 04:59 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 547
Posted By 5wFisher
i really enjoyed this

i really enjoyed this
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-28-2014, 04:55 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 273
Posted By 5wFisher
this has potential. good work

this has potential. good work
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-27-2014, 07:13 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 298
Posted By 5wFisher
i enjoyed this. i thought you could end it after...

i enjoyed this. i thought you could end it after "palm of his hand".
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-27-2014, 12:07 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 1,433
Posted By 5wFisher
good stuff. i like the whole song. keep up the...

good stuff. i like the whole song. keep up the good work!
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-21-2014, 08:24 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 328
Posted By 5wFisher
i found the third verse to be repetitive. tell me...

i found the third verse to be repetitive. tell me more about the day. personal problems or more adjectives to describe the setting other than the sky. i think there's potential though
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 02-20-2014, 08:54 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 482
Posted By 5wFisher
it almost seem confessional. i think there's...

it almost seem confessional. i think there's potential for a song but the transitions from line to line or verse to verse seem odd. that's all i got. good work
Showing results 1 to 30 of 115

 
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