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Search: Posts Made By: kdownes
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-29-2012, 07:15 PM
Replies: 2,109
Views: 69,872
Posted By kdownes
I'm a sucker for The Emperor of Ice-Cream, though...

I'm a sucker for The Emperor of Ice-Cream, though that's not really that long. Probably T S Eliot's The Wasteland
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-10-2012, 08:02 PM
Replies: 2,109
Views: 69,872
Posted By kdownes
^It's certainly got much more blood, violence,...

^It's certainly got much more blood, violence, death and sex. The New Testament is way too up itself. Give me "I'll flood the Earth and kill everyone" God over "it's OK, just kill my son and I'll...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-10-2012, 08:26 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 752
Posted By kdownes
If I had to be honest, I think I preferred this...

If I had to be honest, I think I preferred this one. The first felt over cluttered and un-organised. A product of the emotions and times, I'm sure, but the message and meaning here is so much more...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-10-2012, 12:18 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 752
Posted By kdownes
Is this a follow on from Coma? It feels very...

Is this a follow on from Coma? It feels very thematically similar. There's a honesty and rawness to both of these that's made it difficult to truly offer a critique. I feel like they mean something...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-10-2012, 12:16 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 373
Posted By kdownes
Thanks for all the feedback, guys. I'll get...

Thanks for all the feedback, guys. I'll get around to leaving my thoughts on yours. And yes, Andre, this was a lot of fun to write. Which was a nice change.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-07-2012, 09:46 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 282
Posted By kdownes
The "ist/iss" rhyming scheme got a...

The "ist/iss" rhyming scheme got a little tiring by the end. Thematically, it works, I guess, but I can't help but wonder if there were some better word choices. Or even mix it up with two or three...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-05-2012, 10:15 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 995
Posted By kdownes
There's a lot going on here. I keep discovering...

There's a lot going on here. I keep discovering new things every read. Maybe I'm looking too much into it, maybe it's really simple, but to me it's an onion, and I'm loving unwrapping the layers.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-05-2012, 10:14 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 372
Posted By kdownes
Somehow you always make the most simple, basic...

Somehow you always make the most simple, basic things seem deep, and rich and interesting. Your work is definitive proof that less is nearly always more.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-05-2012, 08:33 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 373
Posted By kdownes
Can You Hear Me, Major Tom?

i'm doing science and i'm still alive

Yeah, Iíve done this before
But now I know a little more;
A little wiser, a little longer in the hair
Around the waist a little wider.

And time has been a...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 12-04-2012, 10:09 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 513
Posted By kdownes
Congratulations for taking a cliched, overused...

Congratulations for taking a cliched, overused topic and managing to breathe a bit of life and originality into it. I won't add to the comments on punctuation and line breaks as they've already been...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-17-2012, 07:56 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 670
Posted By kdownes
I love how quickly and unexpectedly the tone of...

I love how quickly and unexpectedly the tone of this piece changes, and yet it still retains this amazingly fluid wordplay and almost playful writing style. I always enjoy your work.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 11-05-2012, 10:16 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 321
Posted By kdownes
And with this you've cemented your style, I feel....

And with this you've cemented your style, I feel. I don't feel a word wasted here, and the way it circles back onto itself is clever. Final line, quick punch. I liked this, very much. :)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-25-2012, 02:10 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 461
Posted By kdownes
Glad you decided to post this. I liked the...

Glad you decided to post this. I liked the strength of the metaphor, it's a simple idea that works because of it's simplicity. Your writing is confident, and I'm a sucker for second person...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-24-2012, 06:21 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 572
Posted By kdownes
Your writing is beautiful in both form and...

Your writing is beautiful in both form and simplicity. You have a strong style that never feels forced or confining. I have no idea how you do it, but each of your pieces I've read since I've been...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-24-2012, 06:20 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 434
Posted By kdownes
I just feel at times it felt like "style for...

I just feel at times it felt like "style for style's sake", if you know what I mean. Some of the misspellings and the like are quite clever and flow nicely, while others just felt forced or...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-24-2012, 06:18 PM
Replies: 2,109
Views: 69,872
Posted By kdownes
Yep, short stories, prose, etc are more than...

Yep, short stories, prose, etc are more than welcome. Just try to break it up into small parts, it's unlikely that anyone will read an entire 20 page novella in one sitting;)
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-23-2012, 10:04 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 484
Posted By kdownes
Yes. This is great. Some of the line breaks...

Yes. This is great. Some of the line breaks around the middle of the first stanza are a little funny, but I think they work like that. New definitely beats old, Andre.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-23-2012, 07:27 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 475
Posted By kdownes
This is surprisingly good for an old piece,...

This is surprisingly good for an old piece, Andre. A little simple and empty, but still enjoyable. It'd be nice to see a new one, too, I was really liking where your style was headed.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-23-2012, 07:25 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 434
Posted By kdownes
I'm in two minds about this. I feel it lacks...

I'm in two minds about this. I feel it lacks something, and I also feel the style gets in the way a lot more than enhances, and yet, I found myself really enjoying parts. The strange rhyming...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-23-2012, 04:37 AM
Replies: 2,109
Views: 69,872
Posted By kdownes
^Once my pay comes in I'll grab it.

^Once my pay comes in I'll grab it.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-22-2012, 11:00 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 583
Posted By kdownes
I twisted that line around a little, Andre. Does...

I twisted that line around a little, Andre. Does that help?
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-22-2012, 09:42 PM
Replies: 2,109
Views: 69,872
Posted By kdownes
Well, I'm going to jump in on the shameless self...

Well, I'm going to jump in on the shameless self promotion and say that my first album is now for sale at http://thelastofthegreatromantics.bandcamp.com/album/story-time-for-the-great-divine right...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-22-2012, 07:47 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 583
Posted By kdownes
home

the road waltzes me home;

the trees fire a 21 gun salute as i step
deftly between
dropped beats and fallen leaves.
autumn breaks as only a heart can,
and the blood red detritus beneath my...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-16-2012, 04:33 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 826
Posted By kdownes
It's a lot smoother now, those edits really...

It's a lot smoother now, those edits really worked.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-15-2012, 11:49 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 826
Posted By kdownes
I feel the wording is a little clumsy a times, a...

I feel the wording is a little clumsy a times, a little awkward. Some of the lines drag on too long without punctuation, or are simply punctuated strangely. As a whole, I like the piece, I really do,...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-15-2012, 07:43 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 198
Posted By kdownes
incomplete

it's the breaking time.

it crept up so slowly, i fear i missed it.
passed on the way
only to circle
round
and meet up again;
boneweary, soulthirsty and
somehow
longing for this eventual embrace.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-08-2012, 03:38 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 308
Posted By kdownes
Honestly, it's like you have nothing original to...

Honestly, it's like you have nothing original to say. Which itself isn't a problem, it's hard to come up with new ideas, but if you're going to say something everyone else is saying, at least say it...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-07-2012, 10:30 AM
Replies: 2,109
Views: 69,872
Posted By kdownes
I don't know about the book, but the movie was...

I don't know about the book, but the movie was awesome.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-04-2012, 07:48 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 271
Posted By kdownes
This is my favourite bit: I'm tired of simply...

This is my favourite bit:

I'm tired of simply seeing
the aftermath of accidents;
the injuries on looks;
the straw shelters.

Everything else was good, maybe not to the quality of what you've been...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 10-03-2012, 07:21 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 671
Posted By kdownes
Much deserved.

Much deserved.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500

 
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