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Search: Posts Made By: toBetheVeryBest
Forum: The Pit 06-14-2013, 09:08 PM
Replies: 106
Views: 3,917
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
...

http://www.booksie.com/flash_fiction/short_story/tristan_donnally/thief

Wrote for Newground's writing contest.
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 10:12 PM
Replies: 106
Views: 3,917
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I may have slipped up a little bit by adding too...

I may have slipped up a little bit by adding too much thoughts during the start up but I believe computers and robots can execute basic functions before the OS is running. I may be wrong but I...
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 09:54 PM
Replies: 106
Views: 3,917
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I was worried about it not being robotic enough....

I was worried about it not being robotic enough. I will remove all of the inner dialogue.
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 09:41 PM
Replies: 106
Views: 3,917
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
You guys were helpful when I showed you my first...

You guys were helpful when I showed you my first attempt at writing, so I was wondering if you could read and critique my latest.

Here is a link:...
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 09:41 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 275
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Ah ha! Thanks...

Ah ha! Thanks...
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 09:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 275
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I found the literature/relatively good book...

I found the literature/relatively good book thread. Is that it?
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 09:33 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 275
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Where is it at?

Where is it at?
Forum: The Pit 06-11-2013, 09:32 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 275
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Another Short Story

You guys were helpful when I showed you my first attempt at writing, so I was wondering if you could read and critique my latest.

Here is a link:...
Forum: The Pit 06-06-2013, 10:33 AM
Replies: 59
Views: 1,073
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
If I had a record player I would use it all the...

If I had a record player I would use it all the time. Vinyl is cool as all hell. I hate having my whole music collection be digital.

CD's get scratched to easily.

Also hate eBooks. All about the...
Forum: The Pit 06-01-2013, 06:10 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 699
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I am all about Goodwill. Got a record player for...

I am all about Goodwill. Got a record player for $15, and also a PS1 for about $10
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 11:15 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I just ordered The Complete Short Stories by...

I just ordered The Complete Short Stories by Ernest Hemingway. I have a lot to learn.
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 11:04 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I love reading. I would have no urge to write if...

I love reading. I would have no urge to write if I didn't.

I just find analyzing literature at a snails pace with my fellow brain dead students more of a chore than enjoyable. If the class was more...
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 10:53 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
So in short: Cut out all the BS. Thanks Pit....

So in short:

Cut out all the BS.

Thanks Pit. Honestly you have been more helpful than all my years spent daydreaming in English class.

I will go through and revise tomorrow and take out things...
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 10:42 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Slightly nit picky, but he is right about much of...

Slightly nit picky, but he is right about much of the first paragraph. I should be more descriptive.

Still I don't want to treat the reader like a complete idiot.
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 10:32 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
:haha: :haha: :haha: I can see how that...

:haha: :haha: :haha:



I can see how that could make for some bland reading. Thanks for the criticism guys. This is helping a lot.
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 10:18 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
So cut down on the adjectives? Here are the...

So cut down on the adjectives?

Here are the next few sentences.

"Far above the hordes of people a man observed. He watched what the people did when they thought no one could see them. Thieves...
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 10:15 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Get better at writing. :shrug:

Get better at writing. :shrug:
Forum: The Pit 05-28-2013, 10:05 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 697
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Opening Paragraph for Short Story

I have decided to finally try and write a little. I am starting with short stories to hone my craft. I have been writing this one story for the last two days and I am 6 pages in. I was wondering what...
Forum: The Pit 05-04-2013, 10:33 PM
Replies: 482
Views: 5,767
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
anus

anus
Forum: The Pit 05-02-2013, 09:55 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 621
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
That is exactly what happened. I just wish Rare...

That is exactly what happened. I just wish Rare would stop making Kinect games and go back to their former glory. Also screw Microsoft.
Forum: The Pit 05-02-2013, 09:50 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,149
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Heisenburg http://i.imgur.com/1sB9IDE.gif

Heisenburg

http://i.imgur.com/1sB9IDE.gif
Forum: The Pit 05-02-2013, 09:46 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 621
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
I feel like it is dumb to put key parts to the...

I feel like it is dumb to put key parts to the plot in DS games. They should have let it end with 2 or waited for 3.
Forum: The Pit 05-02-2013, 09:43 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 758
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
this :down: :down: :down:

this
:down: :down: :down:
Forum: The Pit 05-02-2013, 09:39 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 621
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
KH2 is one of my favorite games, and is one of...

KH2 is one of my favorite games, and is one of the only RPG's I enjoyed. To me it is sort of like the Finding Nemo of Video Games. Both fun for the adults and children.

Still I find a KH3 unneeded....
Forum: The Pit 04-30-2013, 06:54 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 791
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Yeah, I lose mine all the time. That is why I...

Yeah, I lose mine all the time. That is why I chose a larger number.
Forum: The Pit 04-30-2013, 06:52 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 791
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Yeah I figured that out after running into a...

Yeah I figured that out after running into a website called ClaytonCustoms.com :( . Oh well. Another dream shattered.
Forum: The Pit 04-30-2013, 06:41 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 791
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Pretty good quality IMO, any image you want, and...

Pretty good quality IMO, any image you want, and I was thinking maybe selling by the dozen at between $4-$6
Forum: The Pit 04-30-2013, 06:32 PM
Replies: 33
Views: 791
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
How Much Would You Pay For Custom Picks

I recently came up with a way to make picks out of any image I want, and have decided to maybe start a small business with, so I can support my multitude of hobbies. The question is how much would...
Forum: The Pit 04-10-2013, 08:22 PM
Replies: 37
Views: 732
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Why? To make other countries feel better about...

Why? To make other countries feel better about themselves?

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4yrpmKghH1qhl7ku.png
Forum: The Pit 03-23-2013, 02:05 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 689
Posted By toBetheVeryBest
Can this one slide? I don't think it will cause a...

Can this one slide? I don't think it will cause a flame war.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 315

 
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