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Search: Posts Made By: rd93
Forum: The Pit 08-14-2011, 03:54 PM
Replies: 32
Views: 1,057
Posted By rd93
Who cares

Who cares
Forum: The Pit 07-23-2011, 07:04 PM
Replies: 87
Views: 4,894
Posted By rd93
I approve of this shit.

I approve of this shit.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-21-2011, 10:49 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 367
Posted By rd93
Agree with subway for the most part. I'm not sure...

Agree with subway for the most part. I'm not sure about the last line break; I might have broken it before "rivers" or not at all, but it doesn't hurt the piece. Well done.
Forum: The Pit 07-05-2011, 12:54 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 943
Posted By rd93
...

http://theoverflowroom.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/nothing_to_see_here.jpg
Forum: The Pit 07-04-2011, 03:58 PM
Replies: 54
Views: 1,162
Posted By rd93
This. Except I can't play piano

This. Except I can't play piano
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 07-01-2011, 05:04 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 265
Posted By rd93
+1

+1
Forum: Other 06-29-2011, 03:43 PM
Replies: 13,504
Sticky: Good rap?
Views: 542,044
Posted By rd93
Lyrically, yes. Yonkers is his best beat though....

Lyrically, yes. Yonkers is his best beat though. Try "Tron Cat".

Did anyone else download Big Sean's new album? I think he's pretty good. I mean he doesn't really rap about anything special but he's...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-29-2011, 01:22 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 230
Posted By rd93
I like reading your stuff.

I like reading your stuff.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-27-2011, 12:49 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 374
Posted By rd93
I find it kind of hard to crit lyrics with...

I find it kind of hard to crit lyrics with hearing it, but I'll try here haha. I don't know how "Shakespearean tragedy" would sound in the song; it just doesn't fit in with the rest of the words in...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-25-2011, 01:56 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 581
Posted By rd93
The second stanza was my favorite. But really,...

The second stanza was my favorite. But really, the whole piece was absolutely perfect.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-25-2011, 01:21 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 343
Posted By rd93
I had to reread this a couple of times to follow...

I had to reread this a couple of times to follow the flow of the story correctly; I kind of got lost in the middle and near the end, but I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just really heavy on...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-08-2011, 09:37 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 246
Posted By rd93
I took the "bloom" as another spring...

I took the "bloom" as another spring reference but I see it now. No problem :cheers:
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 06-08-2011, 12:18 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 246
Posted By rd93
I really like the way you captured seasons within...

I really like the way you captured seasons within lines. Like in line 4, I don't know if "leave" was also meant as a reference to autumn but I noticed it and took that from it. I was surprised that...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 06:38 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 269
Posted By rd93
I know what you mean. I myself have trouble...

I know what you mean. I myself have trouble writing long pieces because I tend to write about moments. It wasn't much of a crit haha, but I'd appreciate it if you looked at the poem in my sig....
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 06:31 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 269
Posted By rd93
The imagery was nice, but there isn't much to...

The imagery was nice, but there isn't much to this. I'm not trying to be a d1ck but I didn't really draw any kind of emotion from this.
Forum: Other 05-31-2011, 06:19 PM
Replies: 181
Views: 8,838
Posted By rd93
I'm starting to get into them. Trying to download...

I'm starting to get into them. Trying to download Goblin; I've had "Yonkers" on repeat forever
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 03:49 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 451
Posted By rd93
I agree with clichealias; there isn't one thing...

I agree with clichealias; there isn't one thing that stuck out to me, but I wasn't quite as satisfied reading this as I am normally with your stuff. Word choice is excellent as always
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 03:45 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 289
Posted By rd93
That looks better. Good work as always, although...

That looks better. Good work as always, although the imagery wasn't as vivid as it normally is. But this is one of those pieces where the imagery isn't quite as important as the words.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 12:21 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 289
Posted By rd93
I haven't been here in a while; this was a nice...

I haven't been here in a while; this was a nice read. The way the last two lines are arranged and worded doesn't sit well with me though.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 12:18 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 354
Posted By rd93
I want to write like this. Maybe I should try and...

I want to write like this. Maybe I should try and get a girlfriend.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 12:15 AM
Replies: 2,203
Views: 85,347
Posted By rd93
It depends on the situation. I wore bowties to my...

It depends on the situation. I wore bowties to my proms but I like ties too
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-31-2011, 12:06 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 400
Posted By rd93
a bump for justice

a bump for justice
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-15-2011, 10:47 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 394
Posted By rd93
Shouldn't it be "leafless"? I admire...

Shouldn't it be "leafless"?

I admire your sense of imagery.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-08-2011, 09:04 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 375
Posted By rd93
rushmore if he's got 3 this month. I'm too lazy...

rushmore if he's got 3 this month. I'm too lazy to check
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-05-2011, 09:48 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 331
Posted By rd93
I pretty much agree with what Svetlova said. But...

I pretty much agree with what Svetlova said. But I think the "pillowed truancy" line should end at "youth" and "and" should be on the next line. The length of the line makes me pause the flow after...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-01-2011, 08:20 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 517
Posted By rd93
This is, simply put, horrible.

This is, simply put, horrible.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 05-01-2011, 08:16 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 487
Posted By rd93
I liked the "I"s. It helped create that...

I liked the "I"s. It helped create that sense of him being God, up until he pretty much stopped using it. The only thing I noticed in this was that I think you could do with a much larger number than...
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-26-2011, 11:49 PM
Replies: 2,203
Views: 85,347
Posted By rd93
Guys. I just saw Stone Temple Pilots. They were...

Guys. I just saw Stone Temple Pilots.

They were soooooooo ****ing good.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-26-2011, 04:25 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 201
Posted By rd93
CityMoltenLight is right about connecting with...

CityMoltenLight is right about connecting with the reader. There's a lot of images and triggers but you barely describe the reaction, your emotions or anything else.
Forum: Songwriting & Lyrics 04-25-2011, 11:19 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 597
Posted By rd93
I think this would be better if it was split into...

I think this would be better if it was split into stanzas after the fourth, thirteenth and 21st lines (those are just where I would split them, but I think it should be separated at least somewhere)....
Showing results 1 to 30 of 470

 
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