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Old 08-30-2009, 07:33 PM   #1
gonzaw
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Endless Tundra [GP5,GP4,MIDI]

Made this for a competition in the Musician Talk forum...
Took me a while, had to rush the last part (Night section), but I was happy with it.
Maybe some of you'll like it as well...
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Old 08-30-2009, 08:56 PM   #2
RedDeath9
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Wow, that picture is what I thought of when I saw the title. Then I thought, "hey, maybe he wrote this for the competition..." "nah."

And it turns out you did. I'm not listening right now, 'cause I have to go somewhere. But I'll probably take a look at this thread again.
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:28 PM   #3
gonzaw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedDeath9
Wow, that picture is what I thought of when I saw the title. Then I thought, "hey, maybe he wrote this for the competition..." "nah."

And it turns out you did. I'm not listening right now, 'cause I have to go somewhere. But I'll probably take a look at this thread again.



You better come here when you have a good 30 minutes to spare, since the piece itself is 12 minutes long and it actually loops itself


Hmm, I'm not good at making titles, but that one is the closest one I could make regarding the picture and my piece (kind of endless), then "winter", "polar circle" and "snowy field" were kind of unrelated so I used tundra (I barely know what it is anyways)...
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Old 08-31-2009, 01:38 PM   #4
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Dear god man, this is one hell of a long song

First and foremost. You absolutely positively most definitely need to use panning. With as many tracks as you're using, the instruments kind of just sound mushed together without any kind of panning, making it much harder to pick out individual parts.

Anyway, on to the song.

Overall it's quite well composed.

Morning and noon have this really great atmospheric quality to them. The strings, glock, and taiko drum make a fantastic combination. The drums also have a really cool feel to them.

The reverse cymbal between morning and noon doesn't really lend itself to the transition though. It makes the whole change feel incredibly anti-climactic.

Noon:
The transition from noon => afternoon didn't quite work for me, it was just too much of a change too abruptly.

The acoustic part is clearly impossible to play, and that's just lazy writing. There's a way to use the chords you want and still make the entire thing playable.

Sunset:
I liked bringing that taiko drum back. Although I felt like you should have brought it closer to the end of that section, since having it in the middle and then dropping it out again feels kind of anti-climactic

Night:
Piano was great. There was some weird note choice, but for the most part they worked. The only thing that really stood out as sounding bad was that G# chord.

I've got to be honest though. if you're going to write a song this long, it's got to be interesting to listen to, and despite being a well made song, it's rather boring. It's slow and kind of plods along. There are a number of build ups, but none of them build up to anything.

As background music, it's great, and if that's what you were going for you did a fantastic job. But it's definitely not the kind of music that you'd sit down and actively listen to.
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:13 PM   #5
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Whenever a picture-based comp get's going I always go for ambience music, maybe that explains the whole boring part (and repetitive also, you would guess that since the piece actually repeats itself ).

Hmm, I've never really used panning properly, I guess I can experiment, I don't really know much from it (do you pan same instruments together or differently? Or family of instruments?).
I'll work on the Noon-->Afternoon, and well, I never write these type of music only taking playability into account

Hmm, I kind of like that G# chord, it sounds bad on purpose...
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gonzaw
Hmm, I've never really used panning properly, I guess I can experiment, I don't really know much from it (do you pan same instruments together or differently? Or family of instruments?).


Well, I'm no expert on this, but generally speaking I try to pan instruments in the same tonal range opposite each other. So like if using two guitar parts one will go to the left and one will go to the right. The only thing I don't normally pan are the drums and bass, they're generally better left alone.

Also, if you're got like two separate melodies playing at the same time, you can separate them to better distinguish each one. Same with rhythms and what not.
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Old 08-31-2009, 02:36 PM   #7
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Jesus this song is both epic and long. In fact, maybe too long. I'm a big fan of proggy stuff and all for the long songs, but the looping of the song really wasn't need imo. However, that's just me lol. As for the rest of the track, aside from some panning to clean it up, it sounds delicious.

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Old 09-07-2009, 02:26 PM   #8
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It starts out very ambient and quiet. Sounds pretty cool actually. I like the drums, good job with those. The transition into afternoon seemed kind of lazy to me. It didn't seem like a thought out transition, it probably could have been better. As for the actual section, it sounds pretty good. It actually sounds like afternoon if you know what I mean. I can actually picture a sunset at the sunset section as well. You did a wonderful job capturing the images of most of the sections. I'm very impressed! However, the buildup during sunset seemed a little unnecessary. Night sounds really good, I like the piano and the chord progression. Gives me the image of night very well. The section is very flowing and moving, gives me the perfect imagery. Honestly, you did a very good job throughout the whole piece. Very well done.

Good things: The piece gave me the images you were going for. If you were to tell me the song represented going through a whole day, I could easily pinpoint what sections of the music represented what part of the day. Imagery was very well done here.

Things to work on: Some of the transitions were iffy. There could have been some more interesting things to add to some parts, but it seems like you were going for more ambiance and not serious listening, so you did fine with that I guess.

Thanks for the crit btw.
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Old 09-08-2009, 02:26 PM   #9
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Criting as I listen:

Morning - does really feel like morning, man. Chilled out, nice groove and the sparse melodies add a lot.
Noon - I expected a little bit more variation from the morning part, but whatever.
Afternoon - I like it, it's so relaxed, but in a way different way compared to the morning.
Sunset - I don't like this part as much as the earlier ones... the melodies feel unfocused. However, when the drums kicks in it adds a lot of epicness to it, that helped.
Night - Nice transition, this part is excellent. The piano is beautiful and feels very nighty. You should be proud of this part. However, the cromatic melodies doesn't really sound well... nice chord progression in that section though.
Sunrise - Excellent transition. Nothing really outstanding, it's just soothing.

This is really a work of art... I'd give it a 9/10, excellent job.
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Old 09-08-2009, 03:46 PM   #10
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Morning is perfect. No problems at all. Noon didn't really feel any different from morning. I think it's because the drums didn't really change at all. The transition to Afternoon was too sudden and didn't really flow well IMO. I've liked all the sections so far though, don't get me wrong. The transition to Sunset however was good. I really like how you can just feel the warmth leaving the song. Really cool. Transition to night was fantastic. Seriously, man. I'm not really too fond of the triplets in the piano part. I liked it better when it started the melodic chord section. Again i'm not a fan of the new triplet section you have in the piano part. One thing I do have to mention is that this Night section seems far too evil. I think you overdid the darkness aspect of this part. It feels more like a tragic death than simply night time. Sunrise is a good section. It feels sluggish, but I'm sure we all feel that way at sunrise Great transition back to morning as well.

Overall this is truly a fantastic composition. I loved almost every second of it. Great use of dynamics and smoothly flowing key changes. 10/10


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Old 09-28-2009, 12:13 PM   #11
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Ah shit, forgot you posted on my thread...posting to remind myself to crit this!

Sorry!
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