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Old 04-02-2010, 08:55 PM   #1
Squares
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Hyperion Final (Progressive metal) [MIDI,GP5 & 4]

*MEGA EDIT*!!!

Okay, i finished the song.

Looking for nit-picky criticism now.


The more you tear me down, the better


Would love to know what you guys think,
even if you've heard any previous version!!


Crit for Crit
Attached Files
File Type: zip Hyperion v2.zip (18.0 KB, 84 views)
File Type: zip Hyperion Final.zip (28.7 KB, 128 views)
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Last edited by Squares : 04-03-2010 at 11:22 PM.
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:09 PM   #2
awesomo41894
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Its really cool man, good job I honestly thinks it's almost too long with the softer parts, I'd make the song ALOT heavier, but that might just be me.

C4C?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...56#post23699656
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Old 04-03-2010, 01:32 AM   #3
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To be honest I really don't hear anything wrong with it, it sounds pretty solid to me just needs a proper ending.
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Old 04-03-2010, 01:49 AM   #4
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Thoroughly excellent thusfar.
I even kinda didn't have a problem with the breakdown, which surprised me.

I mean, at first I figured "oh, balls, a breakdown is coming" but when I heard it wasn't too bad/contrived, it fit, and it was fast. And it helped that with the piano bit at the end, it sounded like it was gonna get really epic pretty soon. [I think the piano should have melody, personally, that builds into the solo, and then perhaps an ending with one of the many excellent sections you have. just me though]

That brings me to another thing I love about this song: The piano. I LOVE it. How it's interspersed throughout the track, coming in and out at just the right times.
Nice job so far!
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Old 04-03-2010, 09:54 AM   #5
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I think i'll take your advice with the piano melody over the breakdown.


Sounds like a good plan, thankyou ^_^
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Old 04-03-2010, 10:56 AM   #6
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Holy crap man, I couldn't even notice any of the time changes at all. But one thing I could notice that who ever plays the drums in your band is bad @$$ if they can play both bass pedals at the same time and do 6x bass like that lol. Give me his number, this is really amazing dude, I like the dissonance that occurs at places, and wtf, it ended to abruptly
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Old 04-03-2010, 11:40 AM   #7
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Very nice, I got a real Dream Theater vibe of it. All the instruments fit very well and stood their ground without overshadowing anything else. For me at least though, the main chord progression just went on too long, and when it did change it was too subtle. I can't say how it be in an album context, or with vocals, but it just got a little too repetitive.

There's some great stuff in there, but there's always room for development. And with some tweaking it could be a very nice full length, that was quite an abrupt ending.
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Old 04-03-2010, 07:25 PM   #8
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i think it's excellent. not really much else to say really, i really enjoyed it. i thought the piano parts blended very well with the song and... yeah, there was nothing bad about it worth mentioning very good job
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Old 04-03-2010, 07:52 PM   #9
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Well the song progressed really well and none of the parts sounded forced or anything, really awesome. I like how most of the times none of the instruments really stand out except the piano, which is playing gorgeous melodies. Good job, your turn. http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1296017
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Old 04-03-2010, 08:01 PM   #10
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jazz for the win! xD i like it, pretty groovey. keep it up ;]
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Old 04-03-2010, 08:08 PM   #11
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The intro just blew me away. Usually riffs in 9/8 sound awkward and broken up, but this is perfect. The piano really adds to the melodic atmosphere of the song. 17 is a nice continuation, but this really brought my attention to the tuning. CGDAAE? Honestly, what the **** ? I've never seen this in my life. The bottom two are in Drop-C, the 4th string, 2nd and 1st are standard, and the 3rd string is tuned like the 2nd string... Weird, but whatever floats your boat. The drums in heavy sound cool, I'll give you that. The song continues being awesome, but why the breakdown. It doesn't really fit. I don't really understand why its there, but you could transition it a little better and I think it will sound better. All together, nice job. It sounds amazing even with a technical feel.
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Old 04-03-2010, 08:33 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by champayne
The intro just blew me away. Usually riffs in 9/8 sound awkward and broken up, but this is perfect. The piano really adds to the melodic atmosphere of the song. 17 is a nice continuation, but this really brought my attention to the tuning. CGDAAE? Honestly, what the **** ? I've never seen this in my life. The bottom two are in Drop-C, the 4th string, 2nd and 1st are standard, and the 3rd string is tuned like the 2nd string... Weird, but whatever floats your boat. The drums in heavy sound cool, I'll give you that. The song continues being awesome, but why the breakdown. It doesn't really fit. I don't really understand why its there, but you could transition it a little better and I think it will sound better. All together, nice job. It sounds amazing even with a technical feel.


Thanks for noticing

I play cello as well as piano and guitar, and if know anything about the cello, it's tuning is CGDA. The highest two strings were more for experimentation than actual usage. I do get a nice effect when playing both strings at the same time though.

Also, 9/8 is really nothing but 3/4 with triplets on every beat. there's no reason why it should sound awkward.

Thanks everyone i'll return criticism where criticism is due


...Also, the breakdown is to kind of break the monotony of pretty much the same vibe for 3 minutes.
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Last edited by Squares : 04-03-2010 at 08:51 PM.
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Old 04-03-2010, 09:16 PM   #13
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Nice, now that it's finished. Thoroughly excellent still.
Not much else to say than that though, as I already covered everything in my previous post.

I must say though, I really loved how you developed the breakdown with the piano. The piano leads were just awesome. Nice stuff!

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1291779
Crit 1, two, three, however many you feel like.
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Old 04-03-2010, 11:20 PM   #14
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Hey thanks for the crit man...i know you want nit picky criticism but...this is just great. Id buy a cd that has this song. You couldve thrown in a guitar solo but it wasnt necessary and itd have to be super epic so that it didnt drag the song down, but other than that i had no complaints. It was a really nice listen bro
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Old 04-04-2010, 09:56 AM   #15
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Firstly, thanks for the crit

Now, when you first mentioned the words "prog metal" in your crit of my song, I have to confess that I had already a preconceived notion of this song (not a huge fan of prog metal, y'see) - thank god you blew those away within the first few seconds of listening - was a nice surprise, I have to say. It's not the standard low tuned dark sounding prog metal that most think of when that genre is mentioned - it's got a much lighter feel to it.

Anyway, well, you want nitpicks?

The drums in the heavy section are perhaps a tad too loud - I found them a little too distracting. I mean just the rapid bass drumming, not the snares or cymbals - they're all good. After turning down the volume for those, it sounded much better, imo - keep 'em there, just tone it down a little.

And something that I can be a little guilty of at times as well, I admit - gotta be careful with the amount of ideas you're throwing in there - after listening, I knew that what I listened to was good, but I couldn't remember any of it. Like I say, I know I'm being incredibly hypocritical there, looking at my current WIP - but I'm trying to keep continuity - keyword: trying.
So structure is something that perhaps needs to be taken into account in future - although I admit that it's going to be pretty hard to try and cut things down with what you have there already. It doesn't affect the quality of the song so much in this case, but it certainly affects the memorability.
I think perhaps changes of mood could've helped as well - the whole song had a ton of ideas, but they were all in the exact same mood (excepting the breakdown). Not saying that each individual idea should be different from the other, but I'm always of the belief that a song should take the listener on a journey - and so ending in a different mood from the beginning accomplishes that. I admit that it's not always necessary, though, but it's just an idea to ponder.

And onto the good stuff that I want to say.

Your drumwork in the time sigs you put yourself into was very well done - like others have said, I couldn't notice at all when you were switching between them. Flow throughout the song for the most part was excellent.

I liked your addition of piano in the instrumentation - added spice to what could've been potentially a little boring (when listening to MIDI, mind). Strings were well orchestrated as well.

Anyway, well, I enjoyed listening to it - and those nitpicks are nitpicks, remember, like you demanded.
Hope I've added something to the table.
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Old 04-04-2010, 08:27 PM   #16
<<f1sh3r>>
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intro is nice.
lmao jazzgasm xD
i dont really have much to say, it all is pretty well written.
liked bang your head and pianos have feelings too.
8.5/10
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Old 04-04-2010, 08:48 PM   #17
herby190
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I didn't like the part at 97; maybe it's because, without the actual distortion (seeing as it's in MIDI), this piece didn't really have a metalcore feel to me, so then the sudden powerchord chugging seemed off. I dunno....

I think you need a different ending.

Also, I'd reconsider the drumming from 59 to 66; I just found it a bit annoying.

Other than that though, I'd say you've got a pretty solid piece.
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