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Old 06-26-2011, 01:31 AM   #1
Life Is Brutal
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Avidity (Classical Tech Death) [C4C]

I've been working on this piece for around a year now, and couldn't figure out how to continue it and finish it until recently. But, I finally did, and here it is.

Story is in the Markers and Information (F5). Tell me if the markers make any sense, and if anything is too cliched.

Very classically inspired piece, and I've been told twice that it sounds similar to Bach. That being said, its still Tech Death.

The markers in quotations are most likely going to be spoken Dialogue over the top of the sections, with various Death Metal vocals over the Tech Material. I feel some Growls with Midrange to upper midrange Arsis-esque vocals could work in some sections.

Anyway, Avidity!

C4C as always.
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Old 06-26-2011, 01:52 AM   #2
amonamarthmetal
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i think if you ever record this. you should get actual people to talk like in the story with sound effects of the wine being poured and cupboard opening, them toasting and the glasses clinging together ect and all the sound effects of the atmosphere in the room and the storyline. i dont understand the story though. the ending doesnt make sense. good song though. although at times there was to much dissonance and that turned me away from it, but its definetly a good start.

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Old 06-26-2011, 02:07 AM   #3
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could only view/listen to avidity, but this was great man. the dialogue, whole deal with the devil kind of thing cheapens it though- makes it seem almost operatic, in my opinion. is this all your work or do you play with anyone?
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Old 06-26-2011, 02:45 AM   #4
HaydenHohns
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So is this story the product of you listening to my latest piece or what? Haha!

Anyway, to be blunt, this far exceeds anything you have ever done..and that stuff was already pretty good. I mean your ability to continue a phrase beyond a simple 4-8 bars was astoundingly good. This is better than Bach, just for the record. I'll go through my favourite parts:

I love the polyphonic texture in the Intro. I was also thoroughly impressed with the use of the G#/Raised 7th in the intro when there were 'moments of doubt' in the dialogue. That was really good. Each character has a certain motive, which is really cool. Transition was good.

I loved the Call-and-response between the two lead guitars. Love that stuff. It represents the slowly pompous and arrogant attitude that one of these friends develop (To me anyway) in addition to buildings being raised and money being handed over etc. The counter-melodies/points was also really good, much better than any pianist I've heard try to imitate Bach (Compositionally, most specifically the fugues). You not only successfully did that. But you put your own spin on it.

"Whe-Where's The Down Beat" was INSANE! That has to be one fo the coolest Tech Death riffs I've ever heard (It's up there with the intro to Only Ash Remain by Necrophagist and the stop start riff in Story To Tell by Death). Flat out amazing.

The large interval jumps in the 2nd Piano section were really good because it sounded like the friendship was slowly falling apart (Bars 73 and the like). It was like flickers of rage.

So in my opinion this is a nearly flawless (Nobody is perfect right?) song, I actually like the use of the piano in this song as it is:
a) More frequent
b) Sounds good when accented on the lower droning/pedal notes.

Fantastic job mate! I can't wait to hear this recorded.

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Old 06-26-2011, 11:45 AM   #5
Life Is Brutal
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@Amonamarthmetal, I'll try to add more markers and make the story a bit more clear, although the F5 and a bit of imagination help alot. Also, there would be sound effects ideally, although it might be hard to pull off without it sounding stupid.

@Scarlet_carson, I wanted to make a sort of "New" idea of the deal, and I feel like I made an interesting version of it. While the stranger isn't exactly the devil, to think of him as such isn't too far off.

And no, this is all my work.

@HaydenHohns, thanks for the crit! No, I had the idea for this song right around a year ago, and just now finished it. This is also one of my favorite pieces, although some people have told me others are MUCH Better. At least that tells me I have some variety.

While I don't believe its better than Bach, its still in a similar style to some of his pieces. Would you be able to call the first distorted section a Fugue? Im gonna go look up Fugue real quick... Fuguedit: It could Technically, be called a fugue!

G# isn't the raised 7th in this piece man, its in G harmonic Minor, which would make the raised 7th F#, unless you meant Gb of course, but even then it would be F# as you're raising the 7th, not flatting the tonic. Just saying.

I'm glad you caught the idea of the "Call and Response" playing, and I'm also glad that you liked the polyrhythm/syncopated section.

The classical sections are going to be guitar, as most of this would be impossible on piano (Massive chords and shit), but I like the sound of the MIDI piano and I've been told my clean playing sounds like a piano.

But yeah, thanks for the crits.
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Old 06-26-2011, 01:46 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
@Amonamarthmetal, I'll try to add more markers and make the story a bit more clear, although the F5 and a bit of imagination help alot. Also, there would be sound effects ideally, although it might be hard to pull off without it sounding stupid.

@Scarlet_carson, I wanted to make a sort of "New" idea of the deal, and I feel like I made an interesting version of it. While the stranger isn't exactly the devil, to think of him as such isn't too far off.

@HaydenHohns, thanks for the crit! No, I had the idea for this song right around a year ago, and just now finished it. This is also one of my favorite pieces, although some people have told me others are MUCH Better. At least that tells me I have some variety.

While I don't believe its better than Bach, its still in a similar style to some of his pieces. Would you be able to call the first distorted section a Fugue? Im gonna go look up Fugue real quick... Fuguedit: It could Technically, be called a fugue!

G# isn't the raised 7th in this piece man, its in G harmonic Minor, which would make the raised 7th F#, unless you meant Gb of course, but even then it would be F# as you're raising the 7th, not flatting the tonic. Just saying.

I'm glad you caught the idea of the "Call and Response" playing, and I'm also glad that you liked the polyrhythm/syncopated section.

The classical sections are going to be guitar, as most of this would be impossible on piano (Massive chords and shit), but I like the sound of the MIDI piano and I've been told my clean playing sounds like a piano.

But yeah, thanks for the crits.

i never thought of pressing f5, im an idiot
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Old 06-26-2011, 03:59 PM   #7
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Well that was.... fragmented.

First:
The piano was better integrated at the end, but the first two times it's used in the song alone it just seems completely utterly pointless. Honestly I dont think the piano adds anything to the song. It doesnt really add atmosphere. It just hurts the cohesiveness of the piece as a whole because it's a different type of instrument. If it was used more throughout the piece sure maybe but as is it'd be much better as just another guitar. Or even a distorted guitar cause as far as I can tell the distorted guitar plays something similar towards the end.

But otherwise, same as the last one, same exact problem. The only part that was memorable to me was the arpeggiated chord progression with the fast double bass. Everything else was standard "tech death" flurry of notes, almost all of them 16ths, with little to no emotion conveyed. Is it technically impressive? sure is. But does it grab me and make me in any way emotionally/mentally invested? Not at all.

I even read the story, but the song really didnt seem to go anywhere or convey anything, sounds like you just put the story to it. Which is all well and good but superfluous ultimately, to the music. Which doesnt really express that. It could have expressed a suffocating or drowning man for all I know, or a schizo. It honestly sounds like it just exists and you could just put a narrator over it and it'd be done.

And again, I cant in good conscience call this death metal.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:20 PM   #8
Life Is Brutal
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I honestly don't know what to say about those crits. Except maybe...

Harsh, Bro.

The piano is actually a classical guitar, but the piano MIDI is much more powerful and accented. Also, the story was written far prior to the song being completed.

So... Yeah, I don't know what to say.

My writing must just not work for you, which is fine. And obviously if I write in a style that you don't like, the review is going to be negative in some way, unless its mind blowing enough to alter your entire perspective of music.

Still, thanks for the crit.
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:25 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
I honestly don't know what to say about those crits. Except maybe...

Harsh, Bro.

The piano is actually a classical guitar, but the piano MIDI is much more powerful and accented. Also, the story was written far prior to the song being completed.

So... Yeah, I don't know what to say.

My writing must just not work for you, which is fine. And obviously if I write in a style that you don't like, the review is going to be negative in some way, unless its mind blowing enough to alter your entire perspective of music.

Still, thanks for the crit.
I think his crit was good, even if it was harsh, when people crit my work I don't want to hear the good they have to say as it will just feed the ego, I would also prefer them to be honest instead of everyone saying "that's good, now crit mine" which seems to almost always be the case
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Old 06-26-2011, 05:30 PM   #10
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Never said his crit wasn't good, and its nice to have some dissent on pieces.

I'll keep his points in mind when composing future comps. Although if the wants of my listeners came before the wants of the Composer, I'd be false.
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Old 06-26-2011, 06:07 PM   #11
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I didn't realise it was in D standard. I was looking at the notation, not the tab. Then yes, that does mean it is in G Harmonic Minor. Although I thought the Piano did work as it was more frequent. Two quite large sections were devoted to it. I hope you continue to use the call-and-response technique in future compositions, even if it's Jazz-Tech-Death. You're really good at it and I've heard so many people try and imitate Bach and they all fail. Except for Handel and this (Obviously).
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Old 06-26-2011, 06:43 PM   #12
Burning_Angel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
I honestly don't know what to say about those crits. Except maybe...

Harsh, Bro.

The piano is actually a classical guitar, but the piano MIDI is much more powerful and accented. Also, the story was written far prior to the song being completed.

So... Yeah, I don't know what to say.

My writing must just not work for you, which is fine. And obviously if I write in a style that you don't like, the review is going to be negative in some way, unless its mind blowing enough to alter your entire perspective of music.

Still, thanks for the crit.

Both acoustic guitars sound fine on midi, I find. The steel has a bit more punch to it so I'd go with that if anything.

Still I'm very literal in my translation of my music to GP. If something is supposed to be piano it will be piano on GP, and so on. Hell, knowing classical guitar, unless your technique is immactulate or you play with a pick or something you will probably have trouble getting it to be as powerful or accented as a piano. Few instruments can match a fine piano or cello, I find. A steel string guitar does come close though.

But, regardless, most of the writing on this board does nothing for me; it ain't just yours. Nor is this any new development. It's been this way for at least a year now it feels like, since the whole djent bullshit took hold of everyone and people decided tech was something new and amazing.

And as to harshness? I believe that is the only way to improve. If everyone is pandering and saying "oh this is amazing" or "oh well I dont like it but good job" that doesnt help anyone. If I think something sucks or is boring or done to death, no point trying to be nice about it.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:56 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
While I don't believe its better than Bach, its still in a similar style to some of his pieces. Would you be able to call the first distorted section a Fugue? Im gonna go look up Fugue real quick... Fuguedit: It could Technically, be called a fugue!



It has a fugal (more so of just baroque) feel to it but in the literal sense of fugue I wouldn't call it that as the sections are more doing a straightforward kind of call and response.

I do like it, however.
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Old 07-09-2011, 03:13 PM   #14
Life Is Brutal
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Perhaps a Fughetta would be an appropriate term for that section? It's not a fugue but borrows some fugal ideas. Im not going to change the original post, as then you're comment on it would seem out of place, but I understand what you say.
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Old 07-09-2011, 07:53 PM   #15
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This was a highly entertaining listen. As an avid film score enthusiant I can say I was pleasantly surprised by the recurring themes. The song accentuated the story nicely, maintaining a somewhat distanced, cynical "that's life" kind of feeling. The clean guitar breaks (which I quite frankly really can't imagine as any form of guitar) and the transition to the death metal parts are all-in-all very effective (especially during the killing scene), though the final part doesn't have the same oomph. And I really really hope that you will add vocals in between the classical sections, sort of like a King Diamond-type storyteller.

The dm parts feels sort of like a mixture of Obscura, BtBaM and classical which makes for an interesting listen (the call and response writing especially reminded me of the breakdown in "Foam Born (B): Decade of Statues.) I'm also a huge fan of independent bass writing. The highlight of the entire track is without a doubt the "Beast Mode [On] Off", which truly feels like it's emotional climax, the thoughts and doubts and hints of paranoia rushing through the killer's head. The insane drum chart (which I for some reason can't view), the absolutely wonderful scaling bass line is what elevates this part above all else.

The story is nice, but it ends rather peculiarly. The guy is evidently a villain, but there is no reckoning for him; no past that comes to haunt him. This is a slight shame, because one could really imagine the voices and the clanging of glasses in the background, sort of like in "Finally Free" and "Home" from Dream Theater's SfaM. Perhaps the old man/devil character would trick him as well?

All-in-all, a well composed song that is in most dire need of recording.

I hoped perhaps that you could C4C the work of a friend and I?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1459247

Take care,
Viktor Svensson
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Old 07-09-2011, 09:31 PM   #16
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The clean breaks should work well as a classical guitar, or just a vivid clean setting.

Perhaps the ending could use more "Oomph", but I feel that it should have enough intensity on it's own. The story proves a point that justice isn't always done, although the guy does have doubts, regrets, and guilt, although he becomes calloused to them by the end. Ironically, I watched "Watchmen" today, and sometimes justice doesn't happen.

"Home" is a good way to explain the clean parts/sound effects and such that would be used.

Sure, it seems like you put 16 minutes of work into that crit, so definately.
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