cammo_1234

Hey guys,

I just finished throwing together this little song. My band has recently fallen apart so I'm trying to start up a bit of a solo project. I recorded and played everything myself in my bedroom, except the drums. My drummer brother bashed those out for me (cos I'm obviously a dumb guitarist with no rhythm :P ), and they were recorded using the voice memo's feature of an iPhone. So please excuse their not entirely beautiful sounding nature.

Anyway, let me know what you think and I'll definitely try to give your music a listen and return the favour!

Triple J Unearthed - This link has the better mix. Please leave a review/comment here if you can, and you can download the demo from here if you like.

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Thanks

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MrDo0m

This song's pretty cool, not much room to crit, save for the somewhat fuzzy recording quality, but I guess that's to be expected recording from a phone. The vocals sound great. My favorite part was 2:17-2:38. I get a Strokes kind of vibe from this. Anyways, thanks for the crit.

Aaron!!

I love the guitars! Seriously man, the crunchy sort of recording vibe you got going really suits this kind of song. The vocals are sweet too, I can't hear any major pitching errors, and they sit exceptionally well into the mix. That chorus as well.. jeeeeez, you're on to a killer here! I can only hear two really problems hear, and obviously the drums are one of them. Considering how they were recording it has turned out quite well, but more definition in terms of percussion would give this great song a lift to an even higher level! But I have to say, the lo fi distorted drum thing is definitely a style you should keep to some extent, it works really effectively with the rest. My final point is that this lacking in any bass. A nice deep, yet crunchy bass with bite would sit beautifully in here, and tie the whole thing together really well.

Crazy song dude

C4C?

http://soundcloud.com/crash-and-kapture/carnival

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WizMystery

I'm 100% sure the recording is clipping, particularly whenever the voice enters. It's very oddly panned; it seems everything is moved about 20% to the right. I can definitely tell there is a quality disparity between the drums and everything else. The composition of it is spot on though. Nice transitions and contrast. It's just the quality of the mixing and mastering that is a huge distraction.

And I second Aaron's comment about the lack of bass. I hear it in there (I think) but however you EQ'd the track got rid of it almost entirely.

What's your previous experience in terms of working with DAWs?

NeptuneUK

Sounds great, the vocals remind me of audioslave in parts!
I love the lo-fi phone recording of the drums! It sounds great, very retro!
The bridge vocals were really well implemented as well. A good track, enjoyable to listen to.

As what has already been said, I can't really critisize the music, just the audio quality... Keep the drums though whatever you do!

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Mean Mr Mustard

Pretty interesting song you have here. First off, I have to agree that it could definitely use a low end, try to get some bass up in here. I wasn't a huge fan of the way the vocals were sung, but you did a great job with them regardless of style, which is just a matter of preference. The guitar parts were all nice, and I really enjoyed that one riff that kept coming up like around 1:30. Awesome. For some reason, this song sort of reminded me of the Mars Volta. The more I listen, the more I enjoy the vocals too. I'd say that overall this a very interesting song, and pretty darn enjoyable. Good job with this, if you get around to re-recording this, it could sound great. I agree about the drums sounding awesome as lo-fi though, keep that!

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cammo_1234

Hey guys thanks heaps for the feedback! I'm a little surprised at the response the crappy drums have gotten haha! And flattered that you guys hear so many of my influences in my music!

Anyway I've tried to up the bass, spread the guitars better, and uploaded another file (the Conman2). Let me know if it sounds any better/worse.

My experience with DAWs is between little and none, I've just been skimming over a few tutorials and articles online to get a basic idea. But the quality of the recording isn't my main concern anyway, I'm just trying to get down some rough demos for when I eventually get a band together. Then we'll get the songs recorded properly by someone who knows what they're doing :P

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jrcsgtpeppers

thanks for the crit
not my genre of music, so il do my best at being open minded

vocals are sweet.
the change up was sweet.
i think the vocals may be too loud... theyre good, but take over the mix a little too much
there is a lot of energy in this song, i like it.

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link55588

Man this was great. See im used to crappy quality so this sounded great to me haha! i loved the song, nothing really ticked me off. I agree with the bass though, could be brought up/ was there one? idk couldnt hear it but that didnt really stand out that much. Overall great, loved it love your voice too!

cammo_1234

Thanks again guys, if you like what you heard I've just set up a Facebook page for myself. It's pretty raw at the moment, but I'll be posting some more tracks up there in the near future. I'm just waiting on my brother to lay down more drum tracks, it's a difficult process when we live 2000km apart :P

Anyway, I really appreciate the comments and criticisms, so if you liked my song please check out my page!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lolli...pp_178091127385

Thanks again!

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Furegious

Although the quality of production lets it down a bit, I totally get the vibe of the tune and I think it's great! You put a lot of heart into your singing and fits the music really well. The guitars are nice n' thick and rhythmic. Very musical. The intro is really effective too. Has this haunting chord progression. When the heavier guitar riff kicks in it stands out and gives it a cool groove. Most excellent.

WizMystery

The panning is still very, very wonky, and it's still clipping. As for the bass, some more EQing is needed as the instrument itself is lacking a bit.

What DAW are you using? If it's Ableton or FL Studio I could probably fix it up a bit if you'd like, wouldn't take too long. Even if record companies try to look past production quality, I think with these problems out of the way you'd have a better chance of getting signed.

hitl

Really liking the voice! Good build from verse to chorus. Diggin' the guitar, the lead tone is awesome. It has everything a good song needs to have; structure, progression, soul etc. etc. Really liking the part from 1:10 until the end of the Chorus. Haunting vocals before the solo starts. The production drags a little bit on the song. Drums could sound more dynamic (more definition on bass and snare drum). Otherwise two thumbs up.

c4c

sevenatenine

great stuff. reminds me of white rabbits' stuff. vocals weren't exactly my kind of style, but they were still great and obviously is a matter of taste. i actually kinda liked the raw sound quality. made it sound more genuine and probably fit the song's style well. good job!

hagstrom_9

Im liking the sound of this, I think the panning is a little weird though. The chorus of the song has to be my favourite part, real catchy rhythm, and a almost like the fuzziness of the vocall track, it adds a kind of effect to it thats really interesting. I think you might be pushing the boundaries of the track though, at some points I hear a few points, or maybe its just my headphones. Anyways, its a solid track for sure, Really enjoyed it!

c4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1522123

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Indy_Fire

The levels defo seem to be clipping, it kinda works at times but the in the fuler beats it sort of washes out the sound.
the guitar tones sound nice when they come through nice warm and chunky.
the songs ayout out works well.
I'd like to hear a clearer mix but overal I'm sold bet you guys are pretty cool to watch live.

crit here if ya like.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1522523

herby190

The main problem with this that I can see is that the vocals take up most of the mix in a lot of parts; it kinda takes away from the instruments.

Other than that, it's not a bad song; I love the use of vocals right before the solo, and the solo itself was great.

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Harlot Hero

You've got an incredible voice. I hear a lot of clipping. It's definitely a great song though. Needs to be recorded better. This is the kind of voice i'd like to have. Great instrumentation. Good guitar tone. Interesting lyrics. Amazing vocal melodies. I like how the song is arranged. Nice panning of all the instruments too.

Crit for crit?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1523148

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aaron aardvark

cammo,
I hear clipping also. I agree the vocals are very good (singing & melodies)! The song & playing are very good, but like it's been said before, could use a better recording (then I think it could be radio-worthy). Please review my music at this link:

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...05#post29234605