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Old 05-19-2012, 07:03 PM   #1
AngryGoldfish
do I "urk" you?
 
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This is not Regret

The brand I have seared into my skin
feels as though I was fooled
into trusting a stranger on the street
with indelible ink and a hot needle.
But who can I blame for this?
Who was not there when my back was turned
and the mirrors were murky from all the secrecy
and vain attempts to maintain innocence?
There was no one there to tell me
that the light was as soft as daybreak,
but had no approaching day.
For when you cut a hole in the earth and fill it with water
there are those who will just want to get wet,
and I was one of those:
I was thirsty, without a mother's breast
to channel instinct into my veins.
All the mistakes I made
- all the unnecessary shame and hate -
I cannot rebrand or give them meaning as others have done.
My faith has scarred me,
my memories have been marred
and I had no control over any of it.
This is not what you call 'regret'.
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:49 PM   #2
Nilchii
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Wanted to like it better than I liked it. It felt vague, particularly "who was not there." I mean, I wasn't there, for one. My cat wasn't. I could probably name a bunch of people. Felt vague, is all.

peace
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Old 05-19-2012, 10:55 PM   #3
seventh_angel
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I wouldn't say it was vague, I kinda get where Dan is going with this. I mean, I can relate to these thoughts and I think I can see through what you're trying to say.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Dan, but this is about doing something that you're not proud of doing, and that others could brand as a regretful situation. But you don't feel the regret towards doing what you did. Yes, there's the "unnecessary shame and hate" you felt, but you're far from regreting what you did.

The thing is that I feel that this piece isn't about those specific mistakes, but about the consequences of them, regardless of what they were.

If I'm somewhat close, I liked this. If I'm not, then I didn't get this at all. Nonetheless, it's great to read something from you mate.
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Old 05-20-2012, 09:00 AM   #4
AngryGoldfish
do I "urk" you?
 
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You're on the money, Andre. This is about the fact that it's almost impossible to see regret as a positive thing like so many people do when the mistakes you made were not your fault at all. No one told you what to do in life, no one was there to guide you, so you were left to screw up on your own. I just don't see how that's a good thing.

Thank you very much!
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Old 05-20-2012, 11:14 AM   #5
Nilchii
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Well, and I get that, and it's a fine thing to write a poem about, but the poem in question still felt vague to me. YMMV.

peace
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Old 05-20-2012, 11:54 AM   #6
AngryGoldfish
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I didn't want to point any fingers particularly, but I could try and work and something more concise into this. I see what you're saying and think it could be an exciting progression.
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Old 05-20-2012, 05:31 PM   #7
ali.guitarkid7
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Good to see you posting again
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