05-10-2012, 06:26 PM
|
#1 |
|
bblblubluewhale
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
WotW - sisyphus
sailing ships pass—we thank, or
think—outside our eyelids. a steam engine wakes afloat in the belgium sea, until then, silent in its passivity- narrowlee, barrolee, entombing the mountains beneath, loving, lulling, eavesdropping coyly- your face is earth, monsieur, you said as i read from the foot of your bed: "no head unwed in the wooden den, no thread no spindle, just love instead." i've never slept through a thunderstorm, cuddled like lightening bolts, symmetrical, sentimental-we wonder, wander, use words that sound like one another to describe similar things; young mountains, ah! an aesthetic revolution, ships sailing over yonder in the clouds that resemble waves of water, lips kissd, bow tie-d, under such majestic mysteries one must surrender to the profoundness of their ignorance, the specifics of loneliness, the lasting impression one possesses after seeing the moon for the first time, that tingling feeling of tiny crab claws pinching your eyelids to make the tears come out, finally… all breed such an auspicious familiarity; i’ll keep rolling my rock up that hill, sisyphus; happiness is the ends of it.
__________________
FUNDRAISER LINK FOR THE FILM I AM CURRENTLY WRITING - HELP US OUT, FRIENDS! Follow the film on Facebook Follow the film on Tumblr Last edited by rushmore : 05-19-2012 at 09:16 PM. |
|
|
|
05-10-2012, 10:11 PM
|
#2 |
|
mon titre d'utilisateur
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
|
God-****ing-tier. 11/10. Blah blah have my children/I'll have yours etc. Yesyesyes.
__________________
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー じーんせいはっわんつー！ぱんち・・・ "Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching |
|
|
|
|
05-11-2012, 12:44 PM
|
#3 |
|
International Badass
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
|
Really sweet lyrics, friend!
A well-blended mix of free-style, alliteration, and imagery that culminate in a lyrical orgy or awesome. Keep it up! |
|
|
|
|
05-11-2012, 04:42 PM
|
#4 | |
|
non sum qualis eram
Join Date: Jan 2009
|
Quote:
little skillful things like this make me envy you so much. this was glorious, though.
__________________
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
|
|
|
|
|
|
05-12-2012, 12:18 PM
|
#5 |
|
So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
Join Date: Aug 2007
|
This is really great.
__________________
My Pieces The Vulture Eh-bits Tandem There's Nothing As Silent As A Cry Forn Help New one: Carpe Diem |
|
|
|
|
05-13-2012, 12:17 AM
|
#6 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Swansea, Wales
|
Brilliant. I detected a Beat influence, perhaps mistakenly. Nothing there that I would change. Excellent job
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2012, 05:12 PM
|
#7 |
|
do I "urk" you?
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ireland
|
Another scorcher. Please keep writing. Whatever you do, keep writing. You have not only immense talent but a good heart and a dedication to letting it speak.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2012, 10:14 PM
|
#8 |
|
So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
Join Date: Aug 2007
|
Congratulations ^^ you deserved this mention.
__________________
My Pieces The Vulture Eh-bits Tandem There's Nothing As Silent As A Cry Forn Help New one: Carpe Diem |
|
|
|
|
05-15-2012, 11:32 PM
|
#9 |
|
bblblubluewhale
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
Thanks ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much.
|
|
|
|
|
05-16-2012, 12:00 AM
|
#10 |
|
DT's Feminist Mom
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
mmmmmmm matthew...
__________________
GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY
|
|
|
|
|
05-21-2012, 05:21 PM
|
#11 |
|
x
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: mexico city
|
grats
 |
|
|
|
|
05-23-2012, 03:33 AM
|
#12 | |
|
UG Newbie
Join Date: Dec 2005
|
Quote:
But we don't. The English language is not geared towards such ends. Rhyming words rarely have similar meanings, if ever, really. Anyway. These lyrics are cute, but the wordplay does you a disservice. It's cute, but clunky and heavy-handed. Rock On Pete |
|
|
|
|
|
05-23-2012, 09:45 PM
|
#13 |
|
Lets rent bikes from 1942
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In the deepest ocean, the bottom of the sea
|
I read it a little differently- the words sounding like one another don't necessarily mean the individual words are meaning the same thing (at least I'm pretty sure not), but it's definitely a subtlety to pay attention to. Good to see you around again Petey. Still rockin' on and all.
But I loved this matt. It's just what I needed after watching the storms roll in from this tree by the astronomical observatory at the top of the hill with a book of William Stafford and then catching one bus then another through the torrents to get home (and the cutest bus driver, she was so beautiful in the rain, I even asked if they were hiring just to talk to her (and because I need a job)). Have you ever read Maurice Manning? I'm just about to order his book, Bucolics, on recommendation from a professor. It seems like something you might like.
__________________
Anatomy Anatomy Whale Blue Review Park that car
Drop that phone Sleep on the floor Dream about me |
|
|
|
05-24-2012, 11:45 PM
|
#14 |
|
bblblubluewhale
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
The speculation and contemplation that accompanies wondering, and really to me is inherent in the act of rumination, is wandering. I'm always wandering in moments of true wonderment.
Therefore, words that sound like one another to describe the same thing... Thanks guys. Thanks a lot. |
|
|
|
|
05-24-2012, 11:46 PM
|
#15 | |
|
bblblubluewhale
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
Quote:
Sounds like a wonderful night. And I hope you get the job, ha. I haven't. I shall check it out. I'd respond more but I'm half asleep, so thanks, sir. |
|
|
|
|
 |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools |
|
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:03 PM.