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Old 10-07-2012, 06:29 AM   #12041
Avedas
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Originally Posted by guitarxo
How do you know that the girl you have a crush on doesn't find you attractive?


By acting like you don't find yourself attractive.
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:55 AM   #12042
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Originally Posted by element4433
Definitely. She wants you to be happy. And a big part of that is doing things for yourself.

Long distance relationships are hard, but they can work if you're willing to put in the effort. Most regs in this thread will tell you that they're not really worth it, but my parents started out long distance; they've been together for 30+ years, so I know it can work.

I do think that there has to be an end to the long distance thing in the foreseeable future for it to work. Meaning that it can't be viewed as long distance forever. So if the move or whatever is five months or five years away, that goal has to be there.

I disagree. My partner and I are both looking at properties in the places we are rather than together. Things are great, but it's not easy for everyone.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:17 AM   #12043
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What to do about my girlfriend who's all love or logic?

She's still in school and she wants me to quit my job and move in with her in her city which is an hour away. My job doesn't pay very well but by the time she wants to move in together (spring 2013) I will be up to $16/hr and be getting benefits. Where she lives there's nothing more than minimum wage jobs(I've been looking sine last spring for work there).

I told her all of this and she just cried. It's just not logical for me to quit my current job just to be with her. She said if I really loved her I would, but at minimum wage I'll be living pay check to pay check and won't be able to save any money at all! She also made it clear she can't leave her city because she's in college over there and has an alright part time jbo that pays well.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:33 AM   #12044
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Living paycheck to paycheck certainly does not sound appealing. And if you didn't mention that when you talked to her, I would definitely do that. I don't know, the "if you really loved me" thing is such a shitty guilt trip. An hour away isn't that far.

Sorry if I didn't help much, I'm not too great at giving advice.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:36 AM   #12045
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Originally Posted by Steel8909
What to do about my girlfriend who's all love or logic?

She's still in school and she wants me to quit my job and move in with her in her city which is an hour away. My job doesn't pay very well but by the time she wants to move in together (spring 2013) I will be up to $16/hr and be getting benefits. Where she lives there's nothing more than minimum wage jobs(I've been looking sine last spring for work there).

I told her all of this and she just cried. It's just not logical for me to quit my current job just to be with her. She said if I really loved her I would, but at minimum wage I'll be living pay check to pay check and won't be able to save any money at all! She also made it clear she can't leave her city because she's in college over there and has an alright part time jbo that pays well.


Love is two people being themselves together, not two people merging into one person.

So she cries. You comfort her, but don't go "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry for choosing to be how I am instead of how you want me to be." Don't be a bitch.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:42 AM   #12046
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Originally Posted by Colohue
Love is two people being themselves together, not two people merging into one person.

So she cries. You comfort her, but don't go "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry for choosing to be how I am instead of how you want me to be." Don't be a bitch.


Then what do I say?
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:10 PM   #12047
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You hold your ground, and tell her that if she loves you, she won't expect you to change.

If that doesn't work out, your relationship comes down to doing as you're told or being with someone else.
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:43 PM   #12048
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Originally Posted by guitarxo
How do you know that the girl you have a crush on doesn't find you attractive?


Oh, she does, but I just wasn't able to keep that sentence simple while fully detailing it out. She's just requiring a lot more effort, and at this point, I'd like to just...win by now haha.
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Old 10-07-2012, 06:31 PM   #12049
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Well, my gf and I moved in together. Everything is going great. One issue, however...

In a couple years we'll be done with college, and she is really against me getting a job that makes me move (believe me I don't want to move either). And she doesn't even want me to have a job where I travel. This is part of being an adult, I thought. Is she just insecure? Can I talk to her about it? I want to stay in my home region too; that is one thing I can agree on.
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:25 PM   #12050
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Originally Posted by Orange112590
Well, my gf and I moved in together. Everything is going great. One issue, however...

In a couple years we'll be done with college, and she is really against me getting a job that makes me move (believe me I don't want to move either). And she doesn't even want me to have a job where I travel. This is part of being an adult, I thought. Is she just insecure? Can I talk to her about it? I want to stay in my home region too; that is one thing I can agree on.


Well first of all, you still have a couple of years left of college and you're moved in with her already? I have two years of college left, and if I had a gf, I wouldn't even think about moving in so soon. Unless you're older, I see that being a problem to start off with.

Anyways, of course you should talk to her about it. And of course she should understand that if she wants the bread on the table, you're gonna have to do what you have to do. She should understand what she's signing up for, and if she doesn't like it, then it's on her to have to grow to like it. You shouldn't feel guilty or bad at all about it. That's what being an adult is about, providing for your family. However, I think you're too young to even be thinking about it.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:01 AM   #12051
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange112590
Well, my gf and I moved in together. Everything is going great. One issue, however...

In a couple years we'll be done with college, and she is really against me getting a job that makes me move (believe me I don't want to move either). And she doesn't even want me to have a job where I travel. This is part of being an adult, I thought. Is she just insecure? Can I talk to her about it? I want to stay in my home region too; that is one thing I can agree on.


Hm. . .

I live with my partner and owing to the job I do, I can be away from her for a period for as little as 2 days or as long as 6 months. It's not pleasant for either of us, but it boils down to two things: 1) she knew that this was what I was - and wanted to be - doing with my life when we got together, and; 2) she understands that if she wants to life the life we have, I have to work the job I do.

You've still got a couple of years to worry about, focus on cohabiting without getting on each other's tits first, but yes, you have to talk to her about it. She should respect what you want to do, and understand that perhaps working away/travelling within your job is the only foreseeable way to provide for you both. And as often does, it boils down to the importance of honest and open communication within a relationship.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:39 AM   #12052
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Originally Posted by blake1221
So apparently I'm really attractive to every girl from middle school/high school I used to have a crush on except the one I now actually have a crush on. Greeeeeaaaaaaatttttttt.


Why she no like you?
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Old 10-08-2012, 10:48 AM   #12053
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Doesn't want to get tied down right now. I can dig it.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:14 AM   #12054
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Originally Posted by blake1221
Doesn't want to get tied down right now. I can dig it.


**** buddies it is then.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:18 AM   #12055
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I'd be the loser to get too attached if she was down for that hahah, but I think she's a bit too reserved for that option. We'll see.


We just flirt like crazy whenever we're together, but never seem to be able to make time for each other except like..every other weekend. I just have to not be dickless and call her and actually make plans.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:20 PM   #12056
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I hate myself right now. My anxiety always gets the best of me. Im trying to talk to this girl but I'm afraid I'll **** things up. Any advice?
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:23 PM   #12057
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Remind yourself that they're just a person. No different from any other stranger or friend you're talking too. They're not some creature, they're a girl. Just be friendly and confident and talk to them.
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:16 PM   #12058
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how much time spent with a significant other is too much? my friend says if i hang out with this girl too much ill start to get sick of her, so far we've been hanging out like every other day. it's hard not to because we have so much fun when we hang out and i really enjoy our time together.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:42 PM   #12059
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how much time spent with a significant other is too much? my friend says if i hang out with this girl too much ill start to get sick of her, so far we've been hanging out like every other day. it's hard not to because we have so much fun when we hang out and i really enjoy our time together.


I don't think there's really any set time that is too much. Just make sure that you both have lives outside of eachother and make time for your other friends so that not all of your eggs are in one basket. As long as you guys are enjoying every second together, then there's really no reason to cut back, especially if it's every other day. I saw my ex probably 5-6 times a week and I never thought twice about it. Also, try and have variety when you guys hang out, because that's the real thing that will keep you two wanting to see eachother.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:59 PM   #12060
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going to a haunted house with her next week
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