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Old 10-11-2012, 10:56 AM   #101
crazysam23_Atax
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
They punished me by using "violence". it never hurt, but it got the messege across.
They never took things away or use "time-outs"

Spanking =/= violence. Nor does an open-hand across the ears or mouth. Violence implies the intent to hurt. Minor corporal punishment =/= violence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brownshirt1
Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.

If they start doing that, then you ignore them. You keep saying, "I'm adding more time periodically". But you ignore them until they get that their fit isn't moving you at all. The more you ignore a child throwing a fit, the more that child realizes that throwing a fit is not effective.
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Last edited by crazysam23_Atax : 10-11-2012 at 10:58 AM.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:38 PM   #102
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Originally Posted by brownshirt1
Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.


The time out zone is meant to be somewhere "safe" so nowhere with things they can throw or break. An entrance hall or the stairs is a good place for this, nowhere on the sofa or in the living room or anything.


Let them scream and cry. They are being punished, it isn't supposed to be pleasant. It's supposed to be a learning experience, and if it makes them scream and cry they won't want to be made to feel like that again. Each time they move, you put them back. As an adult with patience and intelligence you know that the child is going to back down before you are.
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Old 10-11-2012, 01:41 PM   #103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brownshirt1
Until they start kicking, screaming, balling theirs eyes out, throwing shit (not in the literal sense) and walk away from their time out zone. Then what?

I've been friends with a kid who had a problematic sister, she never responded to this kind of treatment.


You're concerned that the child your punishing is screaming and crying?
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:33 PM   #104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
Spanking =/= violence. Nor does an open-hand across the ears or mouth. Violence implies the intent to hurt. Minor corporal punishment =/= violence.


If they start doing that, then you ignore them. You keep saying, "I'm adding more time periodically". But you ignore them until they get that their fit isn't moving you at all. The more you ignore a child throwing a fit, the more that child realizes that throwing a fit is not effective.


U contradict yourself when you quote what I said and then say it's violence.

you say: "the intent to hurt =/= Violence"
I say: "it never hurt, but it got the message across."
they never intended it to hurt, they inteded to make sure i'd never do it again.
You never hit a child just because you want it to hurt (unless your the stereotype deadbeat alcoholic (step)father)
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:34 PM   #105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress_Ibanez
The time out zone is meant to be somewhere "safe" so nowhere with things they can throw or break. An entrance hall or the stairs is a good place for this, nowhere on the sofa or in the living room or anything.


Let them scream and cry. They are being punished, it isn't supposed to be pleasant. It's supposed to be a learning experience, and if it makes them scream and cry they won't want to be made to feel like that again. Each time they move, you put them back. As an adult with patience and intelligence you know that the child is going to back down before you are.


most people have things in every room, even a hallway (coats, paintings, umbrella's)
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:37 PM   #106
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Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
most people have things in every room, even a hallway (coats, paintings, umbrella's)


Hm. Well with an older child (11-16) I would expect them to pay for/earn off any damaged items during a tantrum but for a smaller child, just make a space for time out and remove all the items around there until they are behaved enough to be in a time out with items around them. Get them in the utility room and take all the things you can out of there or something.

It'd be hard the first time but honestly they would only fuck shit up once before they realise that the punishment for damaging things is worse than the fun of doing it.
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:40 PM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
you say: "the intent to hurt =/= Violence"

Actually, I was implying that, if their intent was hurt you (as in, give you bruises or marks or otherwise cause you harm), then that would be violent. I was assuming that their intent was to NOT hurt you.
Quote:
I say: "it never hurt, but it got the message across."

I sort of assumed this.
Quote:
they never intended it to hurt, they intended to make sure i'd never do it again.

As it should be.
Quote:
You never hit a child just because you want it to hurt (unless your the stereotype deadbeat alcoholic (step)father)
I agree. I was actually saying that. Albeit, I apparently didn't convey my meaning very well.

My parents spanked me as a young child. It was very effective as making sure I became a well-behaved, good-mannered adult.

My only issue was, I don't consider it violence to use corporal punishment. Violence implies that your intent to cause physical harm. Spanking and such does not cause physical harm.

inb4 all the idiots who bring up rather inconclusive studies about how spanking is abuse, yadayadayada
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Last edited by crazysam23_Atax : 10-11-2012 at 03:42 PM.
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:45 PM   #108
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I wish I had the authority to give her timeout or stuff a rag in her mouth, but she's not my kid. I've resorted to trolling her. Results have been mixed so far. I told her she couldn't bug me because I was allergic to her. Started sneezing and everything. That didn't work. Then I tried the stop hitting yourself routine and that didn't work. Then I told her I heard the ice cream man and now she's down the street looking for him. Lol, we don't even have an ice cream man here.
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:47 PM   #109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fail
I wish I had the authority to give her timeout or stuff a rag in her mouth, but she's not my kid. I've resorted to trolling her. Results have been mixed so far. I told her she couldn't bug me because I was allergic to her. Started sneezing and everything. That didn't work. Then I tried the stop hitting yourself routine and that didn't work. Then I told her I heard the ice cream man and now she's down the street looking for him. Lol, we don't even have an ice cream man here.

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Old 10-11-2012, 03:48 PM   #110
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You're watching her but aren't allowed to give her a timeout?
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:02 PM   #111
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I'm not watching her. She and her mom are over visiting.
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:04 PM   #112
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Originally Posted by fail
I wish I had the authority to give her timeout or stuff a rag in her mouth, but she's not my kid. I've resorted to trolling her. Results have been mixed so far. I told her she couldn't bug me because I was allergic to her. Started sneezing and everything. That didn't work. Then I tried the stop hitting yourself routine and that didn't work. Then I told her I heard the ice cream man and now she's down the street looking for him. Lol, we don't even have an ice cream man here.

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Old 10-11-2012, 04:17 PM   #113
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Originally Posted by fail
I wish I had the authority to give her timeout or stuff a rag in her mouth, but she's not my kid. I've resorted to trolling her. Results have been mixed so far. I told her she couldn't bug me because I was allergic to her. Started sneezing and everything. That didn't work. Then I tried the stop hitting yourself routine and that didn't work. Then I told her I heard the ice cream man and now she's down the street looking for him. Lol, we don't even have an ice cream man here.



Yeah...



Well if she was over 18, I'd say go for it I guess.

But I doubt that's the present case.
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:50 PM   #114
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n she has low blood suga so she fols.


Holy shit
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:51 PM   #115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fail
I'm not watching her. She and her mom are over visiting.

Oh, nevermind then
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Old 10-11-2012, 05:38 PM   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazysam23_Atax
Actually, I was implying that, if their intent was hurt you (as in, give you bruises or marks or otherwise cause you harm), then that would be violent. I was assuming that their intent was to NOT hurt you.

I sort of assumed this.

As it should be.
I agree. I was actually saying that. Albeit, I apparently didn't convey my meaning very well.

My parents spanked me as a young child. It was very effective as making sure I became a well-behaved, good-mannered adult.

My only issue was, I don't consider it violence to use corporal punishment. Violence implies that your intent to cause physical harm. Spanking and such does not cause physical harm.

inb4 all the idiots who bring up rather inconclusive studies about how spanking is abuse, yadayadayada


I guess we are on the same page then
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Old 10-11-2012, 05:39 PM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fail
I wish I had the authority to give her timeout or stuff a rag in her mouth, but she's not my kid. I've resorted to trolling her. Results have been mixed so far. I told her she couldn't bug me because I was allergic to her. Started sneezing and everything. That didn't work. Then I tried the stop hitting yourself routine and that didn't work. Then I told her I heard the ice cream man and now she's down the street looking for him. Lol, we don't even have an ice cream man here.


as long as you are not trolling her all the time. sometimes you have to be the nice family member and play with the kid

Also I should learn to read all the comments before i start replies.. I spam so much =/ sorry!
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Old 10-11-2012, 05:41 PM   #118
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Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

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Old 10-11-2012, 05:42 PM   #119
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Lmao @ timeout working on kids nowadays. That's some white people shit.
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