MakinLattes

has this been done? I don't know. but I think that our collective rants of our insane parents (and other relatives) should be compiled into a comprehensive, easy to locate thread instead of scattered throughout other threads, spamming up otherwise meaningful conversation. or whatever.

feel free to post short stories. don't blow all the best dirt in one post. for one, it's too long to read. and for two...yeah, it's too long to read.

if you're afraid of your parents or relatives reading this, rest assured! do they even know what the internet is, much less what a guitar is? probably. but will they connect the two!? who knows. anyway, this is one of my stories.

when I was six, my family (mom, dad, aunt, uncle, and two cousins) went on our annual camp-out-in-the-forest-and-get-stoned camping trip. everything was going swimmingly, or at least non-violently, until my mom found my dad's journal. apparently he had been recording his fantasies of other co-workers (female co-workers, to my knowledge). so, she brilliantly decided to wield a butcher knife and slice her wrists in front of her beloved only child. as my older relatives stood silently, aghast, I had the presence of mind to "protect my mommy," by running up to this insane woman and pulling the knife out of her hands. I proceeded to dash deep into the woods (getting myself lost, of course) and chucking the knife as far as my first grade arms would allow me. later, I was afraid some little kid or a bear would come across it and hurt themselves, so I got everyone to form a search party for the knife. well, we didn't find it. too bad for the bears.

the end.

next?

oh, I guess I'll include a poll

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down with the patriarch!

Ex'sAndOh's

Oh my..

I have 5 or more uncles on my dad's side.

One of them is a drug addict, another one is a gambler who attacked my other uncle because he refused to lend him more money, another uncle cheated on his wife and left to Vietnam to marry his new wife. Another uncle slit his wrists countless times and needs to wear long sleeved shirts to hide them.

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original=punk

holy shit. makinlattes.

ummm, no-one in my family is insan.e in fact, i'm the only one with a mental illness.

anxiety problems

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ALL!

Vigilantius

My mom kicked me out of my house two days ago because she thought I stole her vicodin or some shit like that. I didn't even take them and she tore my whole room apart the night I left, looking for her damned pills, and doesn't remember it. How's that for crazy? Also, last wendsday I wanted to make a phone call so she put the phone in the fish tank. (I'm at my sister's house using her computer)

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G-Rock

Well your story is pretty good, better than any of mine.
My mom's just out of her mind. We all think it's menopause...She's 49 so it's right around that time for it.
Her insanity is the basic stuff...Yelling at me about stuff she did, telling me to do one thing and as I'm doing it, yelling at me because I'm not doing something else. Told me the other day I owe her $150 for the cable bill, even though I told her we should shut it off.
Still love her to death, but man it's annoying
Thankfully I'm moving out soon.

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Looking for a drummer in the Detroit, MI area
PM if interested!

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Vigilantius

When my mom went through menopause, she threw all of our dishes into the yard and ran over them. She also punched me in the face once.

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Would you die for Dethklok? I know I would. PM me... If you've got the balls.

G-Rock

My mom's hit me a few times, but claimed it was on accident. Like her fist just so happened to be closed...bah.

Oh, forgot. Havn't known my dad since I was like one, so theres no say on if he's crazy or not. Hopefully not, don't need that being passed down the gene-line..

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Looking for a drummer in the Detroit, MI area
PM if interested!

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deadmansdiary

my grandma tried to give me a crack pipe once.... yup..... that was fun

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And before he died, Taran-Ish had scrawled upon the altar of chrysolite with coarse shaky strokes the sign of DOOM.

MakinLattes

here's another story (I have no shame)

okay, so I haven't seen my mom in a year or two. she sort of disappered (another story). so, I'm on my own now, and one day I was waiting at a busy intersection for the bus to go to work. I'm standing around, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, this fat woman walks up to me. I look at her, and it takes me a minute to realize that this obese bitch is my mom. I ran my ass off. I was smoking at the time, so it was sort of hard to run really, really fast. I ran into the bus station, and she's trying to chase me down. she keeps yelling at me random crazy words (I wasn't really paying attention, I was more focused on getting the hell away from her). I'm running up the esclator, and I stop for a second, thinking I have lost her asthmatic ass. she pops up behind me, and starts yelling nonsense at me with an insane look in her eyes. being reasonable, I pull out my phone and yell, "IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW, I WILL CALL THE FUCKING COPS ON YOUR ASS!" (I have a restraining order, haha!). being a semi-intelligent person, she ends her pursuit. I jump on the next bus heading downtown, and I pass by her and flip her off. she just gives me her cold, "you'll be next" stare. I was late to work that day and considered carrying around my butterfly knife...

haven't seen her since, but I heard that her and her boyfriend (ten years younger than her, illegal Canadian immigrant (??)) are planning to come and "rescue" me...

/rant

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down with the patriarch!

Dylan-19

When I was like Five or so my dad decided that my mom must be cheating on him with his own father....so he thought it would be best to throw her to the bed, sit on her and pour lighter fluid on her all the while wielding a Zippo lighter threatening to drop it on her if she didnt admit to sleeping with him.

EDIT: I was on the couch watching this happen the whole time.

For the record she really didnt sleep with him, my dads just insane.

Many other stories but I think that one takes the cake.

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Embodiment

They're all normal but I predict my cousin will be a prostitute.

Vigilantius

One of my uncles is a child molestor. I've never met him, he's been in prison since before I was born; don't get any ideas.

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Would you die for Dethklok? I know I would. PM me... If you've got the balls.

Schmietty

Actually, everyone in my family is normal. Well, mentally at least.

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Spastic Ink

Nelsean

Damn dude, that's pretty bad.

The only thing I have is my uncle is a pathological liar. He lies about EVERYTHING.

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yawn

All right, here's what I said in the other thread about relationships with parents. Several months old, but still - sadly - valid:


My mom is one of the weirdest people you'd ever meet.

She has more temper tantrums than my little brother, and she sometimes gets so crazy that she violently attacks others.

Once, she threw a pair of scissors at me. Another time, she threw a fork at me (and yes, she was aiming for me, not somewhere else and it accidentally went in my direction). Another time, she tried to attack me with a metal hanger.

She threatens my little brother that if he doesn't do well in school, he's going to be living out on the streets, eating rats and dogs because he'll be too poor to afford any food or housing.

And when my brother and I were little, she'd spank us as hard as she could (bare skin, mind you). Twice she broke the yardsticks. The leather belts never broke, but they sure did hurt. Once she made my brother bleed as a result of this.

She is VERY f*cked in the head. Is she mentally disabled? Probably.

But if I were to suggest that (and I have numerous times), she goes absolutely chaotic and screams and threatens divorce, poverty, etc.

Oh, and my mom has seen psychologists. Two, in fact.

But every time a psychologist suggests that maybe there's something wrong with my mom, she gets mad and stops seeing that psychologist. My mom is positive it's the rest of the family who's the problem for all the yelling in the house. Hell, she even viciously tells my little brother that it's his fault if there is ever to be a divorce.

Overall, she’s just a bitch – to the fullest extent of the word.

Dylan-19

Yeah I know where you're coming from yawn, for sure. My mom is the exact same without the violence. My dad makes up for that however. Hell my mom even goes as far as to threaten my siblings and I that she may kill herself because of how we're acting....

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yawn

Yeah, my mom has her own version of that. Basically, she goes into EXTREMELY emotionally intense episodes in which she cries and screams that my little brother's failure to follow directions causes her to stress out and age more quickly, and that she's going to die soon because of him.

glm

None, although my uncle has been arrested a lot.

wilty00

Atleast your dads not a lying chaeting pirck

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RIP Luc Bourdon