Originally Posted by hideaway

I threw myself together in the living room last night
I got blue paint and I tried to touch the sky
But the ceiling and the fireplace aren't exactly right
They don't have the texture or the depth I find in your eyes

the opening stanza is good has a nice imagery but there are some things that can be changed to make it much better like in second line instead of saying "got blue paint" u can say something like spilled blue paint or throwed blue paint taht way u can add much more meaning just got a blue ppaint feels a bit incompelete to me.

I threw my heart, my mind, my coffee mug at the kitchen door
One bounced off the doorknob and the rest just slid right off
It wasn't very tactful and I know I hate the mess--->i knew i'll hate the mess just to show certainity
But I just drink in the emotion like I'll never get enough

last line can be said in a different manner . oerall this is not as good as the first one but there are somethings which are really interesting. it can be tweaked here and there to get a better flow.

I drove myself off the bridge in my mind
I let myself sink into the pillows on my bed
I slip into the only good cliche
"It takes one to know one" and I know I've got it bad

nice ending
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The only music I listened to for three days straight was Lua by Bright Eyes. I think it's one of my favourite songs ever now. This was the product of that musical monotony. Hope you like it. Crit for crit as usual.

Originally Posted by FrenchyFungus

Hey y'all!!! Me and my friend were over at her house. I we were wonder what guys think when they see a hot girl at the mall or whatever walk by. (We're both pretty as y'all would say "blonde" sometimes).

Originally Posted by rabidguitarist

I just look like some homo.