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Old 08-26-2015, 02:26 PM   #8701
gorkyporky
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Oh. Well, she is doing that. She has said sorry so many times that its gotten annoying. She keeps telling me that nothing would have happened even if i didnt come. That she was just drunk, and didnt think anything of it, that she just wanted to talk because he was a good listener. She cooks. She cleans. She hugs me all the time. She didnt ask me for one thing since then, and pretty much does anything that i ask of her. She paid for the creamcakes i wanted yesterday. I actually feel a bit guilty beause i have a feeling im using her. So yeah, she does act like she is feeling guilty and is really sorry. She never once said that this was in any way my fault, even when i asked her if she was trying to get back at me for something. She hasnt gotten angry at me since she sobered up the next day after that party. She was only upset that i was upset when she was drunk and didnt think she did anything wrong. Does that mean that nothing would have happend? Or that she wont do it again? I dunno.
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Old 08-26-2015, 07:12 PM   #8702
megano28
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It boils down to whether you trust her or not. If you don't, then this is over for you. If it's damaged, but still around, you need to set standards and see whether she's okay with them.

If this was me and I wanted to stay with this girl, I'd set the condition that she no longer drinks. As nice as she is, if her lack of control leads to these drunken mistakes, then she's not responsible enough to drink.

But I'd be more concerned that she was coerced into intimate behavior so easily. Like I mentioned before, if you feel betrayed, then that's equivalent to being cheated on. It's not about having sex, it's about doing shady shit behind your partner's back.
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Old 08-27-2015, 04:42 AM   #8703
Somekid94
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Man, I feel for you. I wouldn't wish something like that on anyone.

To reiterate what has been previously said, if you trust her, set up lines in the sand that she cannot cross. Make her stop drinking, because if she's making out with people and cuddling random strangers, she can't handle herself when she's drunk. Speaking of making out and cuddling random strangers while drunk, do you really want to be with someone who does that? Personally, I wouldn't. I am a cynical and generally angry person though, so hopefully your disposition is better than mine.

My opinion? It should be over. It's growing apparent that you don't really trust her anymore, and a relationship without trust will never sail. She's more sorry and guilty about being caught than what she did. Her reaction when you caught her already cemented that.

I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 and a half years, and if I found out she did what your girlfriend did, we'd be done. I love her to pieces, but I have a lot of difficulty trusting people. But remember, I'm a cynical and angry person. Please take what I've said with a grain of salt.
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Old 08-28-2015, 10:29 AM   #8704
WCPhils
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Hey guys, just wanted some suggestions. I met this girl last week at a party and we met up for coffee yesterday around lunch. Figured it would be for about an hour or so and we ended up talking for 8 hours in this little park area outside the shop. It sounds like such a ridiculously long time saying it, but it honestly went by like nothing. Thought we had been talking for like 3 hours max and I looked at my phone and we had been there for 6+ hours. Pretty much the easiest and most fun person to talk to I've ever met.

Anyway, some of her friends ending up coming by and I left a little while later, so I didn't really get a chance to see if she wanted to do anything again. I'm guessing she does since like who the hell talks to someone for that long that they don't like at all, lol

We talked about movies and stuff a lot of she kept saying (in a joking way) over and over that I needed to see certain ones. So I was gonna suggest we hang out and just watch one or two of them, but I don't really know if that would seem odd or anything. Like should a second date be in a more public place? Writing this out it very much seems like a good problem to have, but I'm honestly just really bad at this shit so any suggestions are welcome. Mostly just don't want to mess this up before it even starts

Last edited by WCPhils : 08-28-2015 at 10:44 AM.
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Old 08-28-2015, 12:22 PM   #8705
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woah phils is back and doing well

sorry obviously I can't help you with any of that.
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Old 08-28-2015, 11:27 PM   #8706
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So I have an awkward situation. My friends former boss(woman 30), said friend(22), and I(24) have been hanging out lately. Now my friend has ZERO interest in her, but I think I have. #lovetriangle #kinda.

It gets weirder because she likes live music and so do I, but my friend does not. Life is fun

edit: I don't believe she likes me much. I have held her hand a few times jokingly and had my arm around her waist a few times as well. I don't think she thinks I'm interested though lol. She REALLY likes my buddy though, like a real lot.
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Last edited by -tempest- : 08-28-2015 at 11:31 PM.
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Old 08-28-2015, 11:35 PM   #8707
megano28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WCPhils
Hey guys, just wanted some suggestions. I met this girl last week at a party and we met up for coffee yesterday around lunch. Figured it would be for about an hour or so and we ended up talking for 8 hours in this little park area outside the shop. It sounds like such a ridiculously long time saying it, but it honestly went by like nothing. Thought we had been talking for like 3 hours max and I looked at my phone and we had been there for 6+ hours. Pretty much the easiest and most fun person to talk to I've ever met.

Anyway, some of her friends ending up coming by and I left a little while later, so I didn't really get a chance to see if she wanted to do anything again. I'm guessing she does since like who the hell talks to someone for that long that they don't like at all, lol

We talked about movies and stuff a lot of she kept saying (in a joking way) over and over that I needed to see certain ones. So I was gonna suggest we hang out and just watch one or two of them, but I don't really know if that would seem odd or anything. Like should a second date be in a more public place? Writing this out it very much seems like a good problem to have, but I'm honestly just really bad at this shit so any suggestions are welcome. Mostly just don't want to mess this up before it even starts


The location of a second date is hardly going to ruin your chances, bar something extremely inappropriate/illegal.

Movies are usually reserved to a more casual date, where you don't need to socialize much, but as a second date, they aren't terrible. The chemistry from your post makes me assume that it would even be decent, considering your previous conversation. Just relax and spend the time enjoying yourselves. Even if you're not consistently talking while you watch the movie, that could easily be the catapult that gets you dinner with this woman. It can totally work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by -tempest-
So I have an awkward situation. My friends former boss(woman 30), said friend(22), and I(24) have been hanging out lately. Now my friend has ZERO interest in her, but I think I have. #lovetriangle #kinda.

It gets weirder because she likes live music and so do I, but my friend does not. Life is fun

edit: I don't believe she likes me much. I have held her hand a few times jokingly and had my arm around her waist a few times as well. I don't think she thinks I'm interested though lol. She REALLY likes my buddy though, like a real lot.


You didn't give much of a description. If it's all about that attraction, then you can't really force it. Don't invest too much time into it.
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Old 08-28-2015, 11:36 PM   #8708
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WCPhils at #33571835
Hey guys, just wanted some suggestions. I met this girl last week at a party and we met up for coffee yesterday around lunch. Figured it would be for about an hour or so and we ended up talking for 8 hours in this little park area outside the shop. It sounds like such a ridiculously long time saying it, but it honestly went by like nothing. Thought we had been talking for like 3 hours max and I looked at my phone and we had been there for 6+ hours. Pretty much the easiest and most fun person to talk to I've ever met.

Anyway, some of her friends ending up coming by and I left a little while later, so I didn't really get a chance to see if she wanted to do anything again. I'm guessing she does since like who the hell talks to someone for that long that they don't like at all, lol

We talked about movies and stuff a lot of she kept saying (in a joking way) over and over that I needed to see certain ones. So I was gonna suggest we hang out and just watch one or two of them, but I don't really know if that would seem odd or anything. Like should a second date be in a more public place? Writing this out it very much seems like a good problem to have, but I'm honestly just really bad at this shit so any suggestions are welcome. Mostly just don't want to mess this up before it even starts



hell no man, ask her to chill and watch some movies!!! maybe git ur cuddle on kno wat im sayn????




really though, go for it. sounds like a good idea to me!
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Old 08-28-2015, 11:43 PM   #8709
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Quote:
Originally Posted by megano28 at #33572622
You didn't give much of a description. If it's all about that attraction, then you can't really force it. Don't invest too much time into it.

yeah sorry, not much to really say i suppose. just weird, felt like sharing it. thanks for the response!
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Old Yesterday, 01:56 PM   #8710
WCPhils
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Quote:
Originally Posted by megano28 at #33572622
The location of a second date is hardly going to ruin your chances, bar something extremely inappropriate/illegal.

Movies are usually reserved to a more casual date, where you don't need to socialize much, but as a second date, they aren't terrible. The chemistry from your post makes me assume that it would even be decent, considering your previous conversation. Just relax and spend the time enjoying yourselves. Even if you're not consistently talking while you watch the movie, that could easily be the catapult that gets you dinner with this woman. It can totally work.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MeGaDeth2314 at #33572624
hell no man, ask her to chill and watch some movies!!! maybe git ur cuddle on kno wat im sayn????


really though, go for it. sounds like a good idea to me!

Thanks for the input guys! That's basically what I thought but I just overthink everything and expect the worst
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