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Old 05-10-2012, 06:26 PM   #1
rushmore
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WotW - sisyphus

sailing ships pass—we thank, or
think—outside our eyelids. a steam
engine wakes afloat in the belgium sea,
until then, silent in its passivity-
narrowlee, barrolee, entombing
the mountains beneath, loving,
lulling, eavesdropping coyly-

your face is earth, monsieur,
you said as i read from the foot of
your bed: "no head unwed in the
wooden den, no thread no spindle,
just love instead."

i've never slept through a thunderstorm,
cuddled like lightening bolts, symmetrical,
sentimental-we wonder, wander, use words
that sound like one another to describe similar
things; young mountains, ah! an aesthetic
revolution, ships sailing over yonder in the
clouds that resemble waves of water,
lips kissd, bow tie-d, under such majestic
mysteries one must surrender to the
profoundness of their ignorance,
the specifics of loneliness,
the lasting impression one possesses after
seeing the moon for the first time, that tingling
feeling of tiny crab claws pinching your eyelids
to make the tears come out, finally…

all breed such an auspicious familiarity;
i’ll keep rolling my rock up that hill,
sisyphus;
happiness is the
ends of it.
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Last edited by rushmore : 05-19-2012 at 09:16 PM.
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Old 05-10-2012, 10:11 PM   #2
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Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
God-****ing-tier. 11/10. Blah blah have my children/I'll have yours etc. Yesyesyes.
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:44 PM   #3
relativity
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Really sweet lyrics, friend!

A well-blended mix of free-style, alliteration, and imagery that culminate in a lyrical orgy or awesome.

Keep it up!
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Old 05-11-2012, 04:42 PM   #4
Cobrevolution
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Quote:
we wonder, wander, use words
that sound like one another to describe similar
things;

little skillful things like this make me envy you so much.

this was glorious, though.
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Old 05-12-2012, 12:18 PM   #5
seventh_angel
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This is really great.
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:17 AM   #6
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Brilliant. I detected a Beat influence, perhaps mistakenly. Nothing there that I would change. Excellent job
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Old 05-15-2012, 05:12 PM   #7
AngryGoldfish
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Another scorcher. Please keep writing. Whatever you do, keep writing. You have not only immense talent but a good heart and a dedication to letting it speak.
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Old 05-15-2012, 10:14 PM   #8
seventh_angel
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Congratulations ^^ you deserved this mention.
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Old 05-15-2012, 11:32 PM   #9
rushmore
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Thanks ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much.
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Old 05-16-2012, 12:00 AM   #10
vintage x metal
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mmmmmmm matthew...
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Old 05-21-2012, 05:21 PM   #11
cubs
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grats
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Old 05-23-2012, 03:33 AM   #12
Petey Cook
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Cool

Quote:
we wonder, wander, use words
that sound like one another to describe similar
things


But we don't. The English language is not geared towards such ends. Rhyming words rarely have similar meanings, if ever, really.

Anyway. These lyrics are cute, but the wordplay does you a disservice. It's cute, but clunky and heavy-handed.

Rock On
Pete
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Old 05-23-2012, 09:45 PM   #13
jiminizzle
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I read it a little differently- the words sounding like one another don't necessarily mean the individual words are meaning the same thing (at least I'm pretty sure not), but it's definitely a subtlety to pay attention to. Good to see you around again Petey. Still rockin' on and all.

But I loved this matt. It's just what I needed after watching the storms roll in from this tree by the astronomical observatory at the top of the hill with a book of William Stafford and then catching one bus then another through the torrents to get home (and the cutest bus driver, she was so beautiful in the rain, I even asked if they were hiring just to talk to her (and because I need a job)). Have you ever read Maurice Manning? I'm just about to order his book, Bucolics, on recommendation from a professor. It seems like something you might like.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:45 PM   #14
rushmore
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The speculation and contemplation that accompanies wondering, and really to me is inherent in the act of rumination, is wandering. I'm always wandering in moments of true wonderment.

Therefore, words that sound like one another to describe the same thing...

Thanks guys. Thanks a lot.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:46 PM   #15
rushmore
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jiminizzle
I read it a little differently- the words sounding like one another don't necessarily mean the individual words are meaning the same thing (at least I'm pretty sure not), but it's definitely a subtlety to pay attention to. Good to see you around again Petey. Still rockin' on and all.

But I loved this matt. It's just what I needed after watching the storms roll in from this tree by the astronomical observatory at the top of the hill with a book of William Stafford and then catching one bus then another through the torrents to get home (and the cutest bus driver, she was so beautiful in the rain, I even asked if they were hiring just to talk to her (and because I need a job)). Have you ever read Maurice Manning? I'm just about to order his book, Bucolics, on recommendation from a professor. It seems like something you might like.


Sounds like a wonderful night. And I hope you get the job, ha. I haven't. I shall check it out. I'd respond more but I'm half asleep, so thanks, sir.
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