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Old 07-05-2015, 11:13 PM   #8601
MeGaDeth2314
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So I don't think I really need any advice here, I just feel like talking, but some input might be nice from someone with similar experiences.

I have a crush on this girl at my new job. I haven't had a "crush" since I was in high school, but this girl is hella cute and super nice and I get giddy when I talk to her. I think she's pretty amazing, and I don't even know her that well, if that tells you anything. I've been thinking about her a lot lately.


But, there is seemingly no way that I would be able to make anything work with her. We both work two jobs at almost opposite times, we live 30-40 minutes away from each other, and she will be going back to college at the end of August, about 3 hours away from me.


I've been thinking about it for the past few days, trying to figure out some way that things could work out if we ended up dating, but I can't think of anything reasonable, and she's not the kind of girl that I would want a short fling with. If we went out, I would just get super depressed when she had to leave, because I will probably have to be working the same hours I currently am for a while, and that would leave me no time to ever go visit her. I'm already getting way ahead of myself since I don't even know if she has a boyfriend (I don't think she does because most girls seem to bring that up at some point fairly soon after talking to them) or she would be interested in dating me, but I'd rather be thinking about this now than to just make things difficult down the road.


Anyone been in a similar situation? I've been feeling pretty down lately when I see her because this is all that I think about now when we're working together, and it's honestly starting to depress me. How do I deal with working with her?
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Old Yesterday, 12:06 AM   #8602
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Well you will never know if it would work or not if you don't do anything about it. From experience, you will probably be more depressed about it if you don't do anything and just end up daydreaming about her every day at work. You could just start with a simple asking her out for drinks or something. I mean, you basically just explained how you have nothing to lose. If it works out long enough that you're still together when she goes away then 3 hours really isn't that long and I'm sure you can find some way. But yea that's waay in the future. Realistically, it might just be a way to have some in the short term and have a chance to possibly extend it further. But still it's better than just moping around at work feeling bad cuz you're hot doing anything about it.
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Old Yesterday, 12:07 AM   #8603
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Well the good news is you know it's an infatuation. The trouble with infatuations is they develop very easily with people from afar when you know something meaningful is highly unlikely. That girl in your class, that girl at work, that girl you see on the train or bus a few times a week. You fantasize and develop an idealistic, yet still unrealistic, view of her and you wrack your nerves over it despite knowing nothing will ever happen.

Or could it? you pose a question, and then voluntarily construct obstacles to pursuing anything. The thing is, you made the obstacles, so you can overcome them if you choose to. Your real problem is that you want something with her, but you're unwilling to put in the (admittedly not insignificant) amount of work it would require to sustain something.

Everybody at some point has been in the same situation. Everybody. You could sack up and talk to her, but then again that would require actual work. Well, welcome to the real world, where meaningful relationships with people take dedication and desire and work and commitment. If you're not ready for it, then admit as much and move on. But if you think you are, then mother****er go and make it happen. You know you can, I know you can. Your ambivalence is the only true obstacle.
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Bitches be Crazy.
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Old Yesterday, 12:14 AM   #8604
MeGaDeth2314
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Thanks guys. I will take all of that into consideration.


I have been extremely stressed out about my financial situation since graduating a few months ago, but perhaps I will be more optimistic later this week when I start getting paid from both of my jobs and have money to actually do things other than drive to work and buy frozen pizzas
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Old Yesterday, 12:30 AM   #8605
Acϵ♠
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More excuses. you'd be surprised at the wonderful things you can do with a chick that don't cost a single penny (hue-hue's aside)
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Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Old Yesterday, 12:36 AM   #8606
MeGaDeth2314
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acϵ♠ at #33486692
More excuses. you'd be surprised at the wonderful things you can do with a chick that don't cost a single penny (hue-hue's aside)


lol. Yeah I get what your'e saying and I agree, any relationship where money is a big factor is not something I want anything to do with, but being months behind on my rent and being hungry and tired all the time has not been great for my mental state and has caused me to be reluctant about social situations. I worry easily. But I'm already feeling better just thinking about my paychecks this week
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Old Yesterday, 12:43 AM   #8607
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acϵ♠
Well the good news is you know it's an infatuation. The trouble with infatuations is they develop very easily with people from afar when you know something meaningful is highly unlikely. That girl in your class, that girl at work, that girl you see on the train or bus a few times a week. You fantasize and develop an idealistic, yet still unrealistic, view of her and you wrack your nerves over it despite knowing nothing will ever happen.

Or could it? you pose a question, and then voluntarily construct obstacles to pursuing anything. The thing is, you made the obstacles, so you can overcome them if you choose to. Your real problem is that you want something with her, but you're unwilling to put in the (admittedly not insignificant) amount of work it would require to sustain something.

Everybody at some point has been in the same situation. Everybody. You could sack up and talk to her, but then again that would require actual work. Well, welcome to the real world, where meaningful relationships with people take dedication and desire and work and commitment. If you're not ready for it, then admit as much and move on. But if you think you are, then mother****er go and make it happen. You know you can, I know you can. Your ambivalence is the only true obstacle.


Now I'm pumped on your behalf and I don't even know this girl. GO GET IT
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Old Yesterday, 08:12 AM   #8608
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I wish there was a way to know how well a first date went. We chatted about stuff we liked and laughed a lot, but I just don't know how it was as a date. she did invite me to her flat party later on in the week. I really hope this works out.
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Old Yesterday, 08:31 AM   #8609
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticfables
I wish there was a way to know how well a first date went. We chatted about stuff we liked and laughed a lot, but I just don't know how it was as a date. she did invite me to her flat party later on in the week. I really hope this works out.




Sounds like it went well.

Enjoy the party, also, you want to find out if it's someone's birthday, ask over text, if it is then ask her if you should get anything, if she says no then get something anyway. This is doing two things, you are giving off a good impression by asking if you should bring anything, and even when she says no and you have something for her or whoever then it will look great.

This is actually something I did to a girl who I was super into that invited me to her birthday party. Sadly the party was cancelled, but I gave her a card and a present and she gave me a big hug.

I forget if you were the guy that was asking about making first contact? Yeah well this could be a good way to make it happen, but it really depends on how touchy-feely she is.

Not to scare you or anything, but despite everything looking to be fantastic with this girl, it turned out she already had a bloody boyfriend -_-
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Old Yesterday, 06:42 PM   #8610
chaoticfables
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Ahhh shucks, sorry to hear about that. It's a flat warming party if that helps. They're usually a drunken affair those things, possible hindrance that I've recently quit drinking? haha
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Old Yesterday, 07:33 PM   #8611
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Originally Posted by chaoticfables
Ahhh shucks, sorry to hear about that. It's a flat warming party if that helps. They're usually a drunken affair those things, possible hindrance that I've recently quit drinking? haha


Bring a nice bottle of wine or something for the house then maybe? And I wouldnt worry too much about not drinking, potentially if anything it could make you stand out and be more interesting because of it.

Quick update on me, been seeing a girl for a few weeks and things are going well, and have other options etc too. Finally things seem to be panning out well and since graduating a few weeks ago loads of music things have happened too - genuinelly been such a great few weeks.
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Old Yesterday, 07:49 PM   #8612
Nero Galon
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Bring a nice bottle of wine or something for the house then maybe? And I wouldnt worry too much about not drinking, potentially if anything it could make you stand out and be more interesting because of it.

Quick update on me


Good job

Yes definitely bring some drinks! I am also a strict non drinker. It is a hot topic among people I meet especially being a student at parties. I would say that you can use it as a way of creating enigma among yourself. It's the same with my name. Because my actual name is so unique and has its own story behind it which is very private you can use it as a tool to draw people's interests and they feel like you're trusting them with sensitive info when you actually tell them the story.

I guess it depends on how personal your reason for not drinking is though I know mine is very personal.

Also, I think in your situation it is important to bring alcohol so people know you're not anti alcohol. Too many times I have to explain to people that I'm not against the idea of other people drinking, I just choose to not partake. Could come off as a square otherwise.
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Old Yesterday, 08:19 PM   #8613
chaoticfables
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I'll try that. Yeah I'm a student and I'm going to a student flat with people around my age so they'll appreciate free drinks. Good idea with turning that into a talking point.

also total plot twist: I am actually a bit of a square irl looking to change that.
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